Ninja Insane Asylum
by Maya-chan2007
Summary: Gai got Kakashi a job at the local Insane Asylum, where the rest of Naruto either works at, or is a patient. However, things aren't always what they seem, and the 'peace' at the asylum will be tested-wait, illegal testing? What's going on? Au, obviously.
1. Kakashi's new job

**An: Well, here's another story by me, Maya-chan. I was hoping to write this after I was done with The Sound of Ninja, but that's going to take a while, and I can't wait to do this one, so here it is.**

**Summary: The Naruto people are in the Insane Asylum, where they have to try and fix themselves before they can go back to society, or end up one of the Level Three's, and never be able to leave again. But something's not right at the Asylum, and Kakashi, the other sensei's, and the cast for Naruto are going to find out what it is, before it's too late…**

**Rating: Rated T for mentions of suicide, cursing, and mentions of murder and abuse.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Never have, never will.**

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Kakashi stared up at the five-storied building feeling a mixture of resignation, irritation, and a slight hint of anxiety.

"Gai, when you told me you found me a job, why did it have to be here?" Kakashi said to himself.

He was standing in front of the Children's to Mid-adult's Asylum, where his old college 'friend', Gai, worked. One of the former staff members quit, and Gai recommended Kakashi for the job.

Kakashi sighed to himself, and walked into the building. Inside was a reception area, with an arched, wooden receptionist's desk to the left side of the room. The walls were yellow, with a white ceiling. The floor was a soft cream color. There were also several 'calm' pictures hanging on the walls, and a few potted plants here and there.

On the far right side of the room, a woman with long, slightly curly brown hair was facing a closet. Upon closer inspection on Kakashi's part, he noticed that she was quite pretty, had red eyes, and was rather youngish looking; probably in her mid-to-late twenties.

Kakashi also noticed that she was talking to the closet.

_Hmm, looks like she's one of the patients,_ Kakashi thought.

"Come on, please come out?" The woman was saying to the closet.

Kakashi was about to go over and say something to her, such as whether she should go back to her room, or take her medication, when the closet answered.

"N-no! I-it's m-my fault!" The voice from the closet said despairingly. "If it hadn't b-been f-for m-my shoe in t-the way, t-then you wouldn't have b-broken y-your finger!"

When he heard this, Kakashi glanced at the woman's hands, which were one the door, though not trying to open it, and were noticeably un-bandaged, though one of her nails were chipped.

"But I didn't break my finger, Hinata!" The woman tried to explain to the girls in the closet, apparently named Hinata. "I just broke my nail! And it wasn't even real!" The woman pleaded.

…_Guess she's not one of the patients. Maybe she's one of the staff that knows what I should do?_ Kakashi thought as he walked calmly over to the woman and the girl in the closet, Hinata, the woman had said.

"B-but it still must have h-hurt! S-so i-it is my fault! I-I'm just a burden to everyone!" Hinata wailed from in the closet.

"Hm, so you're a burden to everyone?" Kakashi said when he stopped in front of the closet. The woman, who's now visible nametag said Kurenai, turned quickly toward Kakashi and was about to say something, probably to tell him off, when Kakashi held up his hand.

"Well, I'm a part of 'everyone', and I don't feel you're a burden. In fact, I don't even know you, so I can't fairly judge if you are a burden or not, but from what I can see, you are not a burden."

A few minutes of silence followed Kakashi's speech, and then the door creaked open enough for Kakashi and Kurenai to see one of Hinata's pale, pupil-less and slightly red around the edges, eyes.

"R-really? Y-y-you don't think I-I'm a b-burden?"

"Of course not. If it hadn't been for this commotion, then I probably would've wandered around this place for hours, not knowing where I was supposed to be, or what I was supposed to do. So thank you!" Kakashi said while smiling with his one visible eye closed.

The door opened slightly more, so that Hinata's nose was visible.

"So-I…helped you?" Hinata asked.

"Yes, you did. Very much!"

The door opened a bit more, so that half of her other eye was visible.

At that moment, two other kids, looking to be slightly older, by probably a year, came into the room. One had longish brown hair that was tied in a long ponytail, and the other had brown hair that was up in two buns on her head.

"Hinata, why are you in the closet?" The boy with the long brown hair asked.

"N-Neji-nii-san! W-well, I-I left my shoe i-in the hallway, a-and Kurenai-sensei t-tripped over it, a-and broke her finger!" Hinata wailed, while closing the door a bit.

"I did not break my finger! Hinata, what I broke was my nail! My finger-NAIL!" Kurenai protested.

"Look, Hinata, Kurenai-sensei was fated to break her nail! It wasn't anyone's fault; it was just her destiny to break her nail. Now, come out of the closet, Hinata." Neji argued at the door.

The door opened even more, so that you could see all of Hinata's face.

"I-it wasn't my fault? It was just Kurenai-sensei's destiny to trip over my shoe?" Hinata asked cautiously.

"Of course, Hinata. Why would Neji lie to you?" The girl with the buns asked.

"Really, Tenten-chan?" Hinata asked while opening the door all the way.

"Yeah, totally. Now let's all go to lunch, they're serving jello today!"

At this point, Hinata fully came out of the closet, and shut it gently behind her. She had her head bowed low, and was looking at the ground ashamed.

"I-I'm sorry. You h-had t-to c-come and g-get me out of the c-closet a-again. A-and I-I probably m-made you l-late for lunch!" Hinata cried, looking quickly at the closet again, like she wanted to go back in. Her cousin stopped her, though, and both he and Tenten led Hinata down the hallway that was next to the office, talking about how it was destiny to be late for lunch that day.

Soon, only Kakashi and Kurenai were left in the office. Kurenai turned around to face Kakashi.

"Thanks for your help. At first I thought you were going to start insulting Hinata, and bring her already shot confidence down, but you didn't, so thank you. I'm Kurenai, by the way." Kurenai said while holding out her hand. Kakashi shook it in return.

"My name's Hatake Kakashi. You wouldn't happen to be Yuhi Kurenai, would you?" Kakashi asked.

"Hm? Yes, I am. How can I help you?" Kurenai asked, using her professional voice.

"Well, Gai got me a job here, and said that I needed to meet you when I got here. That's another thing that I should thank Hinata for."

"Oh! You're the new hire. I was supposed to test you when you got here, which was supposed to be about an hour ago, but I don't think that's necessary after how you handled Hinata, and she's a Level Two! You'll be fine with the others, as well. And you don't have to worry about the Level three's; someone will be with you when you handle them." Kurenai said while shuffling through papers on her desk.

"Um…I'm new here, so what is a Level Two, and a Level Three?" Kakashi asked while putting one of his arms behind his head.

"Oh, that's right. Well, we don't have time to go into that just yet, as we have lunch duty, or at least you do. I'll just go through the basics of the classifying system as I lead you to the lunch room." Kurenai told him while leading Kakashi down the hall that the three kids from earlier headed down.

"Well, first off are the Level One's. They are here for close observational care; such as if someone has an eating disorder, or is contemplating suicide. They're stay is normally from one to ten weeks."

"Wait, the one's who want to commit suicide are the Level One's? Then what are the Level Two's?" Kakashi asked, feeling confused and overwhelmed at all of this new knowledge.

"Yes, well, we have a strict classifying system here. If it were up to me, I suppose I would make the one's wanting to commit suicide Level Two's, but then again, the Level Two's are worse." Kurenai explained while taking a right.

Kakashi was led down a hallway, with the right wall replaced with a giant window. Kakashi looked out, and saw that there was a courtyard outside, with a few of the patients walking around, socializing, and resting out in the fresh air. Kurenai saw him looking, and answered Kakashi's question before he could ask it.

"They're the Level Three's. They can have certain privileges that the Level Two's and One's can't have, but I'll get to that later. First, the Level Two's are the ones that need intensive care here, such as Hinata and Neji. They're here for inferiority and superiority complexes, and while this is normally not a bad thing necessarily, they take it to extremes; plus, they had some-problems with they're family, so they are here for that as well. There are other Level Two's, who I know you will meet later, so you can make your own judgments from that. The Level Two's are normally here from between four to twenty-four months."

"Now, the Level Three's are entirely different. They will be here for the rest of their lives, so that is why they are allowed special privileges, such as a game room, heavily supervised, free access anywhere at this facility, except for administrative offices, of course, and as you saw earlier, free access to the courtyard whenever they wish. In exchange for that, the Level Three's spend the rest of their lives here, while our doctors try to find a way to help them. I'm sure you can see, we don't send anyone to Level Three unless absolutely necessary." Kurenai explained to Kakashi. She then turned to him at the door to the cafeteria, and told him that he should do what a woman named Anko told him to do in the cafeteria, and left.

Kakashi put his hand on the door knob before entering, and again asked himself, "Why did I let Gai persuade me to take this job?"

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**An: So, how did you like it? Tell me in a review, or in a PM, doesn't matter to me, but seriously tell me what you think, and if I should continue or not. Personally, I want to, I even have the second part of the story figured out, along with the third, if I don't combine it with the second. So if you think I should continue, please review and you can receive free cookies and brownies with each review. Yes, this is a bribe, is it working? Heh heh heh. So don't forget to review! Okay, I'll shut up now.**


	2. The cafeteria

**An: Okay, sorry for the sort of wait, but I was wanting to make this chapter perfect, along with all other chapters for this story. I won't lie, it's my favorite, so I am trying to make it the best it could be. Anyways, though, please read and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Maya-chan2007 does not own Naruto. Or sporks, which is a combination of a spoon and a fork. In case you didn't know. You'll find out soon enough.**

**Rating: Teen for mentions of suicide, or attempted suicide, language, and a few other things that I'm probably forgetting.**

**Summary: Will probably change if I can think of a better one.**

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Kakashi stood at the door to the cafeteria, mentally bracing himself for what was coming up next.

_It's going to be okay. Okay, sure, they are kids, and they're insane, but it's your job to help them, so get in there and help them! _Kakashi thought to himself, trying to prepare himself for his new job. _Aw, screw it. Maybe I can just get myself fired, and leave this place. Who cares if Gai __did__ get me this job?_ But then Kakashi thought of Hinata, and couldn't bring himself to just quit, or get fired, just like that. _Hm. Okay, I'll stay for today, but if it doesn't work out, then I'm leaving._

With that, Kakashi took a deep breath, decided that he didn't really care, and opened the door to the cafeteria…

…Only to be hit in the face with a bowl of mashed potatoes. Immediately, everyone in the cafeteria started laughing. This time, when Kakashi took a deep breath, it was to calm himself down. _You know what? I don't care right now. When I find the brat that did that…_

Before Kakashi could do anything more than wipe his face clean, a voice broke into the clamor of voices, immediately silencing them.

"ALRIGHT, MAGGOTS, no offence Shino, WHO THROUGH THAT?!" A rough, female voice barked out across the cafeteria. There was a general silence as a woman in her early twenties approached Kakashi's side of the cafeteria, glaring at the kids that she passed. She had purple hair that was up in a ponytail on the back of her head, and somehow managed to make it into a spiral ponytail. She also had on a tan overcoat, and a short skirt with tight leggings that went to her thighs. Around her neck was a rope necklace with a claw on the end of it.

"Sorry about that, but kids will be kids. Even clinically insane ones!" The woman said while smiling cattishly.

"Eh, I should have been paying attention. My names-" Kakashi started before being interrupted abruptly.

"Yeah, I'll ask later. OKAY, SO NO ONE'S GOING TO TAKE REPONSIBILITY. DO I HAVE TO TAKE AWAY _EVERYONE'S _PRIVILAGES?!" The woman shouted at the cafeteria.

There were several mutterings, and a few people even shuffled their feet while looking down. Finally, someone caved.

"O-okay! I did it! I-it w-was m-me, I-I'm s-sorry!" Hinata shouted from where she was sitting in between her cousin, Neji, and a boy with blonde hair.

Everyone turned to stare at her, which made Hinata even more nervous, and she started to break down into hysterical sobs. The woman looked at her for a second, before turning to everyone else.

"Okay, who _actually_ did it, and is trying to blame Hinata?" The woman said with venom in her voice. The boy with the blonde hair next to Hinata looked around, before shouting, "It was him, over there!"

Everyone then turned to look at the boy that the blonde boy pointed out. It was a punk guy, around seventeen, wearing chains and sitting in the corner. In his hands, which he tried to hide too late, were the remnants of what looked like mashed potatoes.

When the woman saw this, she started grinning wolfishly, and slowly walked over to the guy. When she got over to him, he tried to say something, but was cut off when she pulled his ear and dragged him over to the door.

The woman then threw him out in the corridor, and shouted for someone named 'Asuma' to take care of him. She then closed the door behind her and walked over to Kakashi again. By then, everyone else had returned to what they were doing, like this was a common occurrence. Which, for all Kakashi knew, could very well be.

The woman approached Kakashi with her cattish smile again. This seemed to be the smile that she used all the time.

"Sorry for interrupting you earlier, but I had to take the out the trash. Name's Anko, by the way." Anko said while extending her hand and smiling with her eyes closed.

"Mine is Kakashi. I was told to come here for my shift. I'm new here, as you can probably tell, because Gai recommended me and got me this job."

"Ah, so your fresh meat around here. No wonder the brat was able to nail you with the potatoes." Anko said while laughing. "But seriously, you were supposed to be here about half an hour ago. That means that I was here, all defenseless against them for half an hour. How are you going to make that up to me?" Anko said, joking with him.

"Hm. Don't know. But I'll come up with something. In the meantime, what is it that we are supposed to be doing? Just watch the kids eat?" Kakashi asked.

"If only it were that simple. We're supposed to make sure that they don't hurt each other, or themselves, and that they don't do anything like earlier. You would be surprised what these kids are capable of. Take that pink-haired girl over there, for example. Her name's Sakura and she's a Level One. Here's her file." Anko said while handing Kakashi a rather thick file, and pointing to a girl who was looking at her spork dramatically. Yes, the Asylum only uses sporks, because any other utensil would be dangerous for the patients to use.

The girl that Anko pointed out, Sakura, was looking at her spork broodingly, before raising the spork so that it was pointed at her chest, and said darkly, "Oh, happy spork, here is thy sheath. Let my blood become rust on thee, and thus, I die!" Right after saying this, Sakura thrust the spork towards her chest, to plunge in to her heart-but instead the spork bent slightly.

"Uh…And thus I die!" Sakura said, trying again to kill herself with the spork. It didn't work, though. "Oh, come on! Die! Die! Die already!" Sakura said while repeatedly jabbing the spork towards herself. The result was the same as before, however.

Eventually, Kakashi, feeling sorry for her pathetic attempts at suicide, walked over and took her spork away before she could break it. Sakura looked at Kakashi with hatred, before saying to him, "Why can't you people just let me die already?! I told you all before, my life's not worth living, nobody wants me, so what's the point?" With that, she walked swiftly out of the cafeteria, presumably to her room.

Anko walked over to where Kakashi was standing, still trying to process what she had just said to him, and took the spork away from him.

"Guess she's going back on liquid foods for a while, again." Anko looked up at Kakashi, sighed, and said, "She's been here for a few weeks now. About every other week, she tries a suicide attempt with the cafeteria's sporks. After a day or two, she stops trying for a while, and goes back on solid food with a spork. Two or three days later, she tries again. It's like clockwork, and we can't help her, because she doesn't even try. Most likely, she's going to get put in another therapy group, and get another councilor. Hopefully, she'll get better." Anko said sadly.

"Then why does it sound like you don't think it will work." Kakashi asked, leading the way back to where they were standing before so that they can see the whole room better.

"…Because I don't think we are doing enough for these kids." Anko said sadly, again. Suddenly, though, she perked up, and said with her grin, "So we're going to be counting on you, and you have to do all you can for these kids, got it?"

"Sure, sure." Kakashi said while pulling out his little orange book. Anko looked shocked, at first, before smiling again, and telling him that she was going to monitor the other side while she was leaving.

Kakashi read comfortably for about fifteen minutes, during which time two people tried to pull a prank on him again. However, now that he knew what he was up against, Kakashi wasn't about to fall for them again, so he was able to avoid the prankers.

Five minutes after someone tried to 'accidentally' throw a tomato at him (Kakashi ducked and it hit someone else in the back of the head), Anko came over to talk to him again.

"Hey, looks like you can take care of everything here while I was gone."

"Hm? You were gone?" Kakashi asked. _I didn't even notice._

"Yeah, I step out a few minutes ago to ask Asuma something. So, now you are going to have a therapy group, and after we look after the Level Three's next, you're going to meet up with them. After that, you need to go to Level Three, and help Asuma and Gai deliver their medicines. Oh, and if they start calling you 'medicine man', don't worry. The Level Three's call everyone who delivers medicine that." Anko said while smiling. Kakashi was starting to like her smile, and wish that she would keep smiling at him.

_Hm, maybe I should thank Gai for getting me this job after all._ Kakashi thought to himself. He then noticed the kids getting up, putting their tray's away, and walking out of the right hand door.

Suddenly, a very gloomy, emo looking boy walked up to Kakashi and asked him, "Hey, you're new here aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. Can I help you?" Kakashi asked in turn, thinking that he should at least act like he was working. Who knows, maybe the kid didn't need anything.

"Yeah, my brother. He's in Level Three and I can't see him, because they keep the Level Three's separate from the rest of us. Could you give him this for me? He looks like me, but older, with longer hair in a low ponytail with lines on his face." The kid told him, handing him what looked like a piece of candy.

"Well, I don't see why not." Kakashi said while reaching for the candy. _Well, this isn't so bad. It could have been worse. _Kakashi thought. He was about to take the candy when Anko stole it from the kid and threw it away.

"Nice try, Sasuke. But it's against the rules here, not to mention the law, to try and kill your brother."

"…What? He was going to kill his brother?" Kakashi asked, slightly disturbed that there were people like this here.

"Yeah. Here's his file," Anko said while handing him another rather thick file. "In a nutshell, he hates his brother, and blames him for their family dying."

"It was the bastard's fault. And it would have worked, if you hadn't been here." Sasuke said ruefully, sulking slightly that his assassination attempt was foiled again.

"So, what were you going to try this time, poison?" Anko asked while rubbing Sasuke's hair and taunting him.

"Like I said, it would have worked. And no, it wasn't poison. Itachi's allergic to hazel nuts." Sasuke said while walking away dismissively.

Kakashi was still reading Sasuke's file, and was inwardly staggering at how many attempts, not to mention the variety of attempts, that he had tried on his brother, Itachi, since they had been admitted three years ago, all documented. Apparently Sasuke had been a Level One when he had gotten here, but once he had tried to kill Itachi in broad daylight with a spork, (_What is it with the people here and sporks?_ Kakashi thought) he got bumped up to Level Two. He might've been a Level Three, but that's where Itachi was, and the asylum wasn't stupid-they could put two and two together.

Anko tapped lightly on Kakashi's shoulder to get his attention.

"Hey, look alive. The Level Three's are going to be here soon. Oh, look, here they are." Anko said pointing to a group of people entering the room from the left hand side of the room.

This group of people were all tough looking, wearing leather, chains, and in some cases, hospital gowns. Some where muttering to themselves, others were staying as far away from everyone else as they can, and others were huddled together, talking low to themselves.

The only exception to this was a group of about ten people, wearing long, black robe/cloak-things, with red clouds on them, and talking loudly to each other. Compared to everyone else in the room, they seemed relatively normal, except for the fact that one of them was blue, with blue hair, and what looked like gills on his face. Another was divided in half with a white side and a black side, and what looked like a plant growing out of his shoulders, and growing high to cover his head partially.

Anko saw Kakashi staring, and nudged him to quit.

"Staring is rude, ya' know."

"Bu-What's with-?" Kakashi stuttered, not sure how to ask.

"That's Hoshigake Kisame, and Zetsu. Kisame's the fish man, and Zetsu's the living human Venus fly trap. They were at this top secret medical facility, where the people there were doing human experimentation. By the time the federal government got involved, and finally raided the place, they were the only experiments left alive. The cops caught the doctors who were doing the experiments, but they never found out who was actually behind the experiments, or if they had already been caught. The doctors weren't talking, and so they never found out. Kisame and Zetsu were experimented on to have shark and plant D.N.A. embedded into their D.N.A. So now, Kisame has the temperament of a shark, and the strength, though he's trying to control himself better, and Zetsu grew a split personality to try and help cope with the torture that they called experimenting." Anko clarified while watching the group fuss over what they were going to eat, and leaving enough space between themselves and Kisame when he saw the food.

"Shark frenzy." Anko explained matter-of-factly.

Kakashi just nodded mutely, trying to process all of this information that he had gotten in just a few hours. _Maybe this job will be more interesting than I thought it would be._

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**An: Okay, so why the Asylum didn't care that they were wearing chains is because they didn't want to give the patients any ideas. Also, they didn't even think of it. So, this is the second chapter, and if anyone has any questions, thinks I should continue this story, or wants to review (please), just click the review button and leave me a review. Cause I'm not going to continue this if people don't want me to, but if you do, please review. Thanks in advance!**

** --Maya-chan2007**


	3. Group Therapy

**An: Hey, here's the next chapter of Ninja Insane Asylum! Hopefully it's dramatic, or slightly dramatic, or at least going in the direction of dramatic. That's what I was hoping for with this.**

**Disclaimer: Maya-chan2007 does not own Naruto, but she does own this idea. It was a flash of—well, something, so I'm very proud of this. **

**Rating: Teen for mentions of attempted suicide and wanting to kill people. And that's just in this one chapter!**

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Kakashi stood in the cafeteria, watching the Level Three's closely, since according to rumors and gossip that he had heard from staff so far, he knew that they would be the one's to watch out for. From what he could see so far, they were pretty much what he expected from an insane asylum. Some muttered to themselves, many were anti-social, some had to have their food fed to them by members of the support staff, and some sat in a corner, looking pretty much like mental vegetables.

However, there was one group that proved this theory wrong. The same group that he had noticed before, with the genetic mutants, was chatting animatedly amongst themselves, along with joking and laughing loudly. From what Kakashi heard Anko tell him, they called themselves the Akatsuki. The reasons why they were here varied, but all were here for the rest of their lives, and from what little Kakashi was able to piece together, he agreed that they needed some serious help. Kakashi just hoped that the kids that he got for his group therapy session/counseling were better off than the Akatsuki.

Anko walked over to Kakashi as the Level Three's were leaving the cafeteria to either go back to their rooms, or to the outdoor courtyard. Anko handed Kakashi a stack of three thick files, and before he could ask, she said, "These are the files on the three kids that you're going to be looking after. You'll meet them when you get to the counseling room down the hall on the right, third door down. And try not to be late." Anko joked with him while walking away.

Kakashi was left by himself in the cafeteria, with only the cleaning crew, who were complaining about some rotten brat throwing their sporks and sticking them in the ceiling, along with sticking gum to the bottoms of the food tray's so that they stuck to the tables.

_I'm not so sure that that wasn't just a prank, instead of an expression of a mentally un-balanced person._ Kakashi thought. He then steadily made his way out of the room, flipping through the files that were given to him.

_Hm, these two look familiar. Oh, they're the Haruno Sakura person, and the Uchiha Sasuke person, the one's who are obsessed with killing-Sakura with killing her self, and Sasuke with killing his brother. Now, who's this other kid?_ Kakashi thought to himself while examining the files. _Uzumaki Naruto: Here for extreme ADHD, and possible extreme depression. That sounds odd together._

Kakashi looked up, and noticed that he was standing in front of the door to the counseling room. Kakashi also noticed that his name was on a nameplate on the door, along with the kids that he was supposed to look after.

_Well, here goes. Wait, this feels like a repeat of the cafeteria._ Kakashi thought warily. Instead of opening the door while going inside, Kakashi opened the door while he was standing still—and missed a chalk board eraser falling on his head.

_Why would there be a chalk board in the counseling room?_ Kakashi thought while stepping over the eraser and into the room.

There in front of him were three kids, all that he recognized, Sasuke and Sakura because he had actually talked to them, and Naruto because he recognized Naruto as being the kid who pointed out the little brat that threw the mashed potato's at him.

"Aww, why'd you have to miss the eraser?" Naruto asked while pouting.

…_This kid's supposed to suffer from extreme depression?_ Was Kakashi's only thought as he checked Naruto's file again, while Sasuke insulted Naruto and Sakura stared broodily at the wall.

"Hey, hey! You're Kakashi-sensei, right? So, why are you late? And no lies! Also, also, what are you reading, and why are you reading it?" Naruto asked non-stop.

"Dobe. Let him talk, at least." Sasuke said coolly.

"Thank you Sasuke, but you shouldn't call him a 'dobe'." Kakashi said to Sasuke as he set his files on the table next to a random chair that he thought was for the counselor to sit in.

"Why not? He call's me teme, so I can call him dobe."

"Yeah! They're our affectionate nick-names for each other!" Naruto cheered.

"Maybe not affectionate, they keep acting like they want to rip each other's throats out." Sakura said dispassionately from where she was in the corner, writing depressing poetry in what looked like a diary-type thing.

"Right. Well, to answer your questions, yes, I am Hatake Kakashi, your new counselor. I suppose you could call me sensei if you want. As for why I was late, I'm afraid a black cat crossed my path…" Kakashi was saying.

"Liar!" Naruto, and surprisingly Sakura, shouted at Kakashi. Sasuke sat back some, but he seemed to share their sentiments.

"-As for what I am reading, I am reading your files, and trying to find out why they seem to think that you suffer from a possible extreme depression." Kakashi finished, as if nothing had happened.

"Oh, that's because they 'know' that something's wrong with me, so they are keeping me here until they can prove it. According to Anko, several papers have been written about me, and this place gets most of it's funding from projects that are designed to figure out what's wrong with me." Naruto said proudly, as if this was something to boast about.

"Wait, what do you mean that you're reading our files? That's an invasion of privacy, and it's probably full of lies, anyway." Sakura protested.

"Maybe, but it gives me an idea of what I'm dealing with. Although, I'm still not sure why they think that Naruto suffers from extreme depression," Kakashi said. By now, they were all sitting in a circle-type thing, so that they could all see each other.

"Well, that's because I'm here because I was bullied really, really bad! People kept saying that I was a monster, or something, and that I was better off dead. In fact, this one guy once tried to actually off me, but the authorities got to him before he could actually slit my throat." Naruto explained, although not as vehemently as he had been talking before.

"But—that's terrible!" Sakura said, feeling very bad for Naruto, and showing him great concern. Sasuke saw this, and started trying to trump Naruto.

"Oh yeah? Well my entire family was killed in one night by my brother, who's somewhere on Level Three, and the authorities haven't even arrested him! They keep saying that it couldn't have been him, because he was found with me in the morning, hiding in one of the closets so that we wouldn't die. They wouldn't listen to me when I said that that was probably because he was going to off me next, or he was trying to look innocent." Sasuke said while crossing his arms over his chest, and looking like he was going to try to kill his brother soon.

While Kakashi was trying to redirect the conversation to where he wanted to go, Sakura started telling why she was there, thinking that it was a contest.

"At least you're not here because your boyfriend treated you like you were a princess, and was so kind to you, only to dump you for a cheerleader. A _cheerleader._ What the hell was he thinking?" Sakura said angrily.

"Um, right. So, before any of you feel challenged to try and top that story—by the way; you can't top mine. Gai was my roommate in college." At this, the kids looked down in defeat. "-Let's try an exercise while we are here for-" Kakashi looked at the clock, and then turned back to the kids, "-how long are we here for, anyway?"

"An hour. And what do you mean by exercises? Like working out?" Sakura asked.

"No, I mean an exercise that will let us know each other better. I realize that you all already know each other, but I don't, and you don't know anything about me. So, why don't we tell each other things about each other?" Kakashi suggested.

"What do you mean? Give us an example!" Naruto demanded while squinting.

"Alright. My name is Hatake Kakashi, I have several likes and dislikes, I don't feel like telling you my hobbies, and my goals and dreams are none of your business. Now, you tell the same thing, but don't even think of trying the same answers, or anything similar to them. I don't actually have to be here, so I don't actually have to give you answers. You, however, do have to be here, so you do have to answer." Kakashi said while smiling behind the blue mask that he used to cover half of his face, and the bandana that he used to cover his left eye.

"Aw, that's a cop-out, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto complained.

"Yes. Yes, it is. Now, since you seem to like to talk a lot, you go first."

"Okay! My name's Uzumaki Naruto, dattebayo! My likes are ramen, my friends, like teme, saying dattebayo so much that I don't even know that I'm doing it, dattebayo, making new friends, and—eating ramen! My dislikes are teme, when friends leave 'cause they get better, and when I can't eat ramen, dattebayo! My hobbies include eating ramen, talking to teme, fighting with teme, making new friends, and exploring the air conditioning ducts! My goal is to some day leave this place, dattebayo! Because, I've been here for, like, half of my life, not even kidding, dattebayo!" Naruto said cheerfully.

"I believe. Next, Sakura." Kakashi said, fully taking in what Naruto was saying. Naruto beamed at what Kakashi had said, because nobody had ever actually given him a response before.

"Well, my name is Haruno Sakura; I used to have a lot of likes, but not anymore. My dislikes are whenever some one makes you trust them, only to suddenly turn around and stab you in the back. I also dislike the fact that I love to hard and too fast sometimes. It just end's up making me not want to live anymore. So, since I apparently can't end my life, which has become a hobby of mine, I should probably stop loving. Then, maybe they will let me leave. That's my goal, that or ending my life." Sakura said with her arms crossed over her chest and looking away.

"Well, that doesn't sound good. And you can't just come up with another option, or you wouldn't be here in the first place, right?" Kakashi asked. Sakura looked at him, surprised, and then quickly looked away, muttering, "First time anyone's actually considered my feelings."

"Now, it's your turn, Sasuke." Kakashi said, nodding to the man in question.

"Hn. Uchiha Sasuke. I don't have many likes, and there are a lot of things that I dislike. My hobbies include trying to get past the security so that I can kill Itachi, making up new methods of killing Itachi, and planning how best to kill Itachi. My goal is to finally kill Itachi." Sasuke said stoically.

"Hm. And yet it seems that you have a brother complex. Or, at least you did at one time." Kakashi said thoughtfully out loud.

"I-DO-NOT!!" Sasuke said with clenched teeth.

"Okay. I'll just make a mental note to never mention Itachi again." Kakashi said while sweat-dropping. He then looked over at the clock again, and noticed that it was time to go.

"Well, it's time to go, now. I'm not sure how often it is that we will be meeting with each other, but until next time!" Kakashi said while gathering up the files that he had set down on the table next to him.

"We meet everyday." Sakura said simply.

"Well, then, I'll see you all tomorrow." Kakashi said while leaving. Naruto and Sasuke had already left, so only Sakura was still there. Since she was technically on suicide watch, Kakashi decided to watch her until she went back to her room, or at least until she was with other people.

After that, Kakashi checked the time schedule that Anko had slipped in with the files that she had given him, and saw that next he had to go up to Level Three to give the patients their medicines.

_Oh, swell._

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**An: So, that was that chapter. Next is when he finally gets on to the infamous Level Three, and we'll meet Gai and Asuma for the first time. We'll also see the Akatsuki, so please keep reading this story, and please review! Oh, and it will be a few chapters, but it will be revealed why everyone is there. Eventually. :3**


	4. On Level Three

**Okay, I know that it's been a while, and I know that some of you probably want to shoot me now, but I have an excuse! Well, I always do, but this one's a good one! I've had to do college applications, and my time on the computer is limited, since not only am I writing for Fanfiction, but my sister is as well, and my dad has things that he has to do on the computer as well; like, after I upload this, he's going to get on. So, anyways, I hope that I've written enough on this chapter to make up for the time. Though, I can't promise that it won't happen again-I'm really, super lazy! XP**

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Kakashi approached the door to the elevator, which would take him to Level Three, where he had to help pass out medicine to the patients. From what Kakashi could see, the elevator was the only way to actually reach the Third Level, something about extra security. So obviously, Sasuke had a hard time getting to Itachi.

As Kakashi reached the door, he noticed that along with the call-button for the elevator, there was also a key pad with a finger-print scanner.

_Wow, no wonder Sasuke hasn't killed his brother yet. I suppose you can never be too cautious at an asylum._ Kakashi thought to himself. _Now, how do I get up?_

As if by reading his mind, which wasn't entirely non-plausible, an electronic voice came from the elevator.

"Please STATE _purpose _for approaching THE _elevator_ terminal."

Kakashi looked around quickly, to both make sure that he was alone, and to make sure that it was in fact the elevator that talked. Once he made sure, Kakashi answered the elevator, which for some reason looked like it was expecting an answer.

"Um, I have to go to Level Three, to help administer the medicine. I'm a new employee, here." Kakashi added, thinking that it might be necessary with the elevator.

"Please STATE _your_ name to VERIFY _your_ identity." The computer-voice from the elevator asked.

"…Hatake Kakashi." Kakashi told the elevator uncertainly, sure that he must look like a fool to any random passerby.

"Please STEP _forward_ to be TESTED…_Kakashi_." The voice said, pausing to say Kakashi's name slowly and deliberately.

"…Okay?" Kakashi said while stepping over to the keypad and hand scanner.

"Please put YOUR _hand_ on the SCANNER…_Kakashi."_ The voice told him.

Feeling even more uncertain, Kakashi hesitantly put his hand on the scanner. A green light quickly scanned Kakashi's hand, and as he was about to pull away from it, a pricking sensation entered one of his fingers, and Kakashi quickly pulled his hand away, to find that the elevator had taken a blood sample from him.

_This is a little overboard, and besides, this place doesn't even have a sample of my blood, or handprint signature, to go by—or do they?_ Kakashi thought to himself.

"While THE _computer_ is scanning, PLEASE _enter_ your employee CODE… _Kakashi,"_ the computer-voice from the elevator told him.

"Uh…I only started here today. I don't know my employee code, and I didn't know that I even needed an employee code." Kakashi said, feeling that this was probably going to be an indication of what work here was going to be like from now on, and what it would be like to have to deal with Gain again, and under these conditions.

"Very WELL…_Kakashi_. Your blood AND _handprint _HAVE VERIFIED _that_ you are WHO _you_ say you ARE…_Kakashi."_ The elevator said while opening its doors.

"…Thank you." Kakashi said while stepping into the elevator.

Before the doors closed, however, the elevator scanned a green light through the inside of the elevator.

"Warning, WARNING!" _Unauthorized_ personnel in THE _elevator_ terminal!" The voice said as a flashing red light pulsated throughout the inside of the elevator. Kakashi had started when the lights had started flashing, and began looking abound, trying to figure out what had happened when he looked behind himself. Kakashi saw Sasuke, looking dejected that his plan had been foiled.

As Kakashi was leading Sasuke out of the tube-like elevator, which was actually quite spacious inside, he told the younger man, "Now, now, Sasuke, surely you've tried this before, and were caught just the same, right?" On the inside, Kakashi was thinking, _these kids will be the end of me, or at least my patience._

"Yeah, but I never made it into the elevator before. I didn't know it had a scanner." Sasuke replied sulkily. Kakashi made sure that Sasuke had left, and that there was on one else with him, when he went back into the elevator.

_I don't need this kind of stress,_ Kakashi thought. The elevator had scanned him again, and had pronounced that he was the only occupant in the terminal…_Kakashi_…when a thought suddenly struck him.

_Wait. Gai was crazy before he was introduced to this sort of thing. How's he going to be when he sees me again?_ Kakashi fretted. _I hope he doesn't challenge me to another pointless duel._ Kakashi shuddered at the thought.

After about a minute, the elevator finally reached Level Three, which despite being named Level Three, was actually the top floor, five stories up.

"Please wait TO _be_ scanned before LEAVING…_Kakashi_." The elevator said while scanning Kakashi once more. After making sure that no one had slipped in when Kakashi wasn't looking, the elevator finally let Kakashi out of the elevator.

"_Have_ a good DAY…_Kakashi_." The elevator said while closing its doors behind Kakashi.

_Well, that was odd. For some reason, it reminded me of the computer on 2001, HAL._

Looking at the hallway, which was lined with doors on each end, with a hallway turning right at the end, Kakashi was left to ponder, what do I do now?

_Now that I think about it, nobody actually told me when and where I was supposed to meet Gai and the other guy, Asuma, to dispense the medication._ Kakashi thought while leaning against the left wall and pulling out his Icha Icha Paradise book. After flipping through a few pages, Kakashi noticed that a few of the Level Three's had wandered onto the floor, and were looking at him.

_I could always talk to them, if I get bored._ Kakashi thought. Without looking up from where he was reading, Kakashi asked, "Is there something that you want?"

The Level Three's seemed surprised that Kakashi had noticed them, and began muttering under their breaths to each other. This went on for a few seconds, before they seemed to elect a leader to speak for them.

"What are you doing here? Why are you here? How did you get past the elevator?" the spokes person from the group of Level Three's asked. From somewhere behind him, someone shouted, "What do you want from us? Leave us alone!" But before the person could say anything else, the crowd shushed him, and moved him away.

"What did you do with that person?" Kakashi asked, feeling that he should ask, since he is an employee now.

"Keisuke's in his room now. But you didn't answer my questions. Are deliberately not answering?" Spokes-psycho asked with a bit of an edge in his voice.

_Okay, so they are all paranoid. I can deal with that._

"Well, my name is Hatake Kakashi, though you can call me Kakashi. I got past the elevator because I am a new employee here, and before you ask, Gai got me this job," at this, several people showed signs of sympathy, though whether it's because he knew Gai well enough for him to get Kakashi a job, or because he's now working there, Kakashi wasn't sure. "As for why I am here, on this floor, it's because it's none of your business." Kakashi said while turning back to his book.

This made several people upset, which attracted the attention of the people in the cloaks that Kakashi had seen in the cafeteria earlier—the Akatsuki, if Kakashi remembered right.

"Okay, what the f*** is going on here, dammit? I was in the f***in' middle of my ritual, you shit heads!" An older teenager with slicked back white hair, carrying a weird rosary-type-thing, shouted into the crowd. When the Akatsuki had shown up, several of the other patients had moved over to the side, so that they would have more room. But when the man with Teretz started yelling at them, even more moved over to the side.

"What is going on here?" The apparent leader of the group, who had deep orange hair and several piercings in his nose, ears, and even in his bottom lip, said.

…_Why is it that everyone here is allowed these types of things? Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I'm surprised that a place that has the type of security such as the elevator would allow something like that._ Kakashi thought to himself. He didn't change his posture, though, since he was in the middle a good part in his book.

"P-Pein-sama! Th-this person, H-Hatake Kakashi, he-he's very disrespectful, a-and w-wouldn't a-answer our questions!" The spokes-psycho told Pein while cowering under his gaze.

_So, he's the boss around here, huh?_

"…And that's reason enough to annoy us, un? Geez, what's going to happen when someone comes and starts smacking you around, or something, hm?" A teenager with blonde hair who looked like a girl asked while shaking his head.

"Shut up, Deidara. We would have been here approximately 37 seconds earlier, if you hadn't stopped to grab your clay. You know how I hate waiting." A red-haired teenager chastised to Deidara. The red-haired teenager looked very upset and irritated that he had to wait.

"But-but! Sasori-no-danna! You know that I always have to have it with me, in case there's a need for my art!" Deidara said, spreading his arms out wide, and nearly hitting Itachi, who was standing next to the man with shark-DNA.

"Hey, hey! You nearly hit Itachi-san! Watch what your doing!" The shark-man said while glaring menacingly at Deidara.

"See what you've done, brat?" Sasori said while huffing.

"Kisame, it doesn't matter." Itachi said calmly, not really moving to say what he had.

"Enough, all of you." Pein said calmly, but coldly. At that, everyone was immediately silent, though it wasn't that big a deal for Itachi. Pein turned to Kakashi and looked him up and down.

"Your name is Kakashi?" Pein asked, though it sounded like an order.

"Yes, that's right." Kakashi said, answering as if it didn't really matter.

"What are you doing here?" Pein asked/ordered again. Before Kakashi could answer, however, Spokes-psycho answered for him. "He-he didn't answer before, Pein-sama. I doubt that he will answer this time."

A hushed silence fell over the group in the hallway as Pein turned towards Spokes-psycho. "Did I ask you for you opinion? Did I ask you to answer for him? Just because he will not answer to you, does not mean that he will not answer to God."

…_God? What?_ Kakashi asked himself as he closed his book. He had a feeling that he would have to pay his full attention to what was happening in the hallway.

"S-sorry, P-Pein-sama! P-please forgive me!" Spokes-psycho pleaded to Pein as he threw himself onto the ground, groveling.

"Whether Pein forgives you or not is up to him. You shouldn't bother him with trivial requests such as that." The blue-haired woman with a lip piercing told the whimpering man on the ground with disdain.

"Thank you, Konan. Now, back to the matter at hand; what are you doing here?" Pein asked again, this time with no one interrupting him.

"I'm here because I work here now. I was told to meet Gai and Asuma here; it was Gai who got me this job." Kakashi told the mob. There were a lot of mutters at the fact that Kakashi was working there now, and even more at the fact that it was Gai who got him the job there.

"And what is your job that has made you come up here?" Pein asked.

"I have to help Gai and Asuma dispense the medication." Kakashi replied. _Despite his acting like a mob boss, this Pein-guy isn't such a bad person to get along with, as long as you keep it simple._ Kakashi thought.

"…You're a medicine man?" Pein asked softly. Around him, the Akatsuki started to look nervous, and began to search for escape paths. The other residents of Level Three, however, flat out started panicking, and a few even screamed, "No more medication, no more medication!"

"I suppose that's one way to look at it." Kakashi said, closely watching everyone's reactions. _Everyone is panicking now, and even the Akatsuki, who looked like they were the leaders of everyone, the ones who were looked up to, are acting jittery. What is it about the medication that has everyone upset so much?_

Before Kakashi could find a way to ask this, however, the elevator doors opened, and a billow of smoke escaped through.

"-can you stand to smoke like that, it is most un-youthful! And it's bad for your health, as well!" A voice came from the elevator. A cheerfully, obnoxious, _familiar_ voice.

"Eh, to each his own. I smoke because I can, and you don't because it's 'un-youthful.'" Another voice, un-familiar and laid-back, answered the first.

"If you say so." The first voice replied, not sounding convinced. By now, two figures exited the elevator, (Have A _nice_ day), one, the speaker of the first voice, dressed in green spandex, with a tan vest over the spandex, covering his chest, and with a bowl cut. The other voice belonged to a man dressed in an easy-going manner, with brown hair in a somewhat spiky fashion, and smoking a cigarette. The first man was, un-doubtably, Might Gai, Kakashi's old collage roommate, the man who got Kakashi his job, and the other was most likely Sarutobi Asuma, who was supposed to be with Gai when Kakashi reported to his new job on Level Three.

When Gai saw Kakashi, the first thing he did was a double take. The second thing he did was cry man-tears over their reunion, and the third was strike his 'Nice Guy' pose.

_Oh, Kami-sama, Gai. You're still doing that stupid, un-cool pose?_

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**Okay, so that was Kakashi meeting Gai for the first time in, oh, say, about a month, and meeting Asuma for the actual first time. Again, sorry about the delay; I thought that I would be able to update sooner than I actually am, but with various things happening, it just hasn't worked out. So, I'm sorry. Also, I probably won't be updating so quick anyways, though hopefully not as late as this one has been. I have limited time on the computer, so most of my time is spent with e-mail, and sometimes my sister will want to listen to songs on here while I do this, so that stops me too. Oh, well, now that a major hurdle is practically over, for the most part (college applications. It's like they're stalkers, or something!), I should be able to update sooner than this has taken, but I do have another story that I'm working on; luckily, I've already written a lot of the next chapter, I just have to type it. So, for those of you who forgive me, please review! It will make this delay seem like it was worthwhile!**


	5. Handing out the medicine

**Okay, I know that by now you all want to shoot me, since it's been since ever that I've updated. I had stuff to do, like evil Christmas parades to march in; I got my acceptance letters from college, yay; and some other various stuff that isn't really interesting and I forgot. But still, please read and review!**

**Disclaimer: Maya-chan2007 does not and will never own Naruto, and despite lots of people wishing they did, Maya-chan2007 is glad that she doesn't. Too much hassle.**

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"_If you say so." The first voice replied, not sounding convinced. By now, two figures exited the elevator, (Have A nice __day__), one, the speaker of the first voice, dressed in green spandex, with a tan vest over the spandex, covering his chest, and with a bowl cut. The other voice belonged to a man dressed in an easy-going manner, with brown hair in a somewhat spiky fashion, and smoking a cigarette. The first man was, un-doubtably, Might Gai, Kakashi's old collage roommate, the man who got Kakashi his job, and the other was most likely Sarutobi Asuma, who was supposed to be with Gai when Kakashi reported to his new job on Level Three._

_When Gai saw Kakashi, the first thing he did was a double take. The second thing he did was cry man-tears over their reunion, and the third was strike his 'Nice Guy' pose._

_Oh, Kami-sama, Gai. You're still doing that stupid, un-cool pose?_

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"…Hello, Gai." Kakashi said unwillingly. This was the first time that they met after not seeing each other for three weeks, so Kakashi could kind of understand why Gai might be happy to see him again, (_to challenge me, is more like it…_ Kakashi thought), but did he really have to act like they hadn't seen each other in years?

"Ah, my eternal rival Ka-kashe is here, within my sight again. Care for another challenge, to commemorate our meeting?" Gai asked in a loud voice.

_I knew it. Another stupid challenge. I bet he won't even listen to me, and will just go ahead with the challenge anyway,_ thought Kakashi, as his eye twitched.

"Not really," Kakashi said, turning to the other man who was smoking a cigarette while watching with amusement at the scene Gai and Kakashi were making.

"Ah, hello. I'm afraid we haven't been introduced yet, I am Hatake Kakashi, NOT Ka-kashe, as Gai likes to call me. And you are?" Kakashi asked politely, ignoring Gai's outcries of protest over being ignored.

The man with the cigarette had short, dark brown spiky hair and beard, and was wearing a dark blue long-sleeved shirt with a brown, open vest over that. His pants were long, lightly baggy jeans with some kind of white cloth tied around his waist. After taking a long drag on his cigarette, the man said to Kakashi, "Sarutobi Asuma. Sorry to cut this chat short, but it seems that the patients are trying to escape. In fact, the Akatsuki have already disappeared, but they always do that when we deliver medicine. So, shouldn't we get started?"

As Asuma said this, Kakashi looked around and noticed that the Level Three patients were trying to slowly creep back to their rooms without being noticed, though they were crowding the hallway, making it hard to move. The Akatsuki, on the other hand, had completely disappeared, which Kakashi didn't understand how, since the hall was blocked.

"Where did the Akatsuki go?" Kakashi asked out loud.

"Oh, they always disappear like this. They go into hiding, and we can never find them, so don't bother trying. Instead, we have to deliver the medication to everyone else." Asuma said while walking forward, pushing along the small cart that, Kakashi noticed, had different medication with all colors, including paisley and Technicolor.

_Who has to get the paisley and Technicolor ones?_ Kakashi thought, confused as to how someone could even make one those colors.

When the Level Three patients saw the medicine cart coming towards them, they collectively froze, and then started panicking and running around, trying to reach their rooms where they would hopefully be safe.

"That's it, Ka-kashe! Our gloriously youthful challenge will be to see who can medicate the most patients! And if I do not win, I will run around this entire compound-" Gai started off, getting himself pumped up.

"It's not a compound Gai, it's an asylum. Don't scare the patients." Asuma said absently as he watched two patients unwillingly take their medication.

"-five times! And-go, Ka-kashe, with the power of youth!" Gai shouted as he took off running, pushing along his own medicine cart.

Soon, Asuma and Kakashi were alone with two drugged-up-on-medication patients.

"So, you really were his college roommate?" Asuma asked, picking up the patients and taking them over to a room, presumably theirs, and laying them inside on their beds.

"Unfortunately. Tell me something; is Gai always like that here?" Kakashi asked, walking along side Asuma, who was going door to door and giving patients their medication. As they were walking, Kakashi had pulled out his book again and was reading while chatting with Asuma.

"Yeah, but I think he was kind of mellowed out some, since one of his kids is getting his exorcism right now, and he wants to be there for him." Asuma answered.

By now, they had reached what seemed to be a recreation room, with several video game stations, a billiard table, and a wide screen plasma TV. There was also a large wrap-around couch that was situated in front of the plasma TV.

Also of not in the room is that a large number of Level Three patients were hiding in this particular room, and there was only the one exit.

"Kakashi, how about you block the door while I administer the medication?" Asuma asked, casually walking into the room.

"Sure. But do you mind answering some questions of mine?" Kakashi asked while crouching in front of the door, still reading. A few of the patients saw this, and tried to rush him, but Kakashi knocked them down to the ground. Asuma quickly gave them their medication, and then went about giving the rest theirs.

"Guess not. What do you want to know?"

"Well, why do the patients hate their medication so much? Doesn't it make you feel guilty, what with their reactions?" Kakashi asked, looking down at the ones who had already taken their medication.

"Well, they're kids, you know? Even though they're actually teenagers, but still, everyone hates taking medicine. And these kids hate it the most, because they've been jaded more than anyone else here, so they're less trusting. It doesn't help any that when they take their medication, they pass out, but it's supposed to act as a relaxer. At least, that's what Kabuto, the guy who's in charge of the medication, says." Asuma explained, giving the last of the medication to the Level Three's that were caught in the rec. room.

As they were leaving the room, carrying the Level Threes to their respective rooms, Kakashi asked, "But does it ever make you feel guilty?"

Asuma turned his head to look at Kakashi, then said,"Yeah, every time. But, I still know that I'm doing something for these patients-hopefully, helping them, even if they don't think so, so that helps some."

After bringing the last Level Three back to his room, Asuma and Kakashi started walking down the hall again, in search of more Level Threes.

"So, why is it that the Level Three's have so many more privileges than the Level One's of the Level Twos? They even have the rec. room that we were just in, and I think I even saw an access to the roof." Kakashi asked. "Isn't it dangerous for the ones that would want to kill themselves?"

"No, the ones that would kill themselves are all coincidentally afraid of heights. But, did Anko or Kurenai tell you about the system of how long they stay here?" Asuma asked, lighting another cigarette.

"Yeah, I think Kurenai did mention it. Something about the Level One's are here for a few weeks, and the Level Two's are here for a few months to a year. Does that mean that the Level Three's are here for a few years?"

"No, well yes, sort of. The Level Three's are here for the rest of their lives. The Level One's are seen as not far gone, that they only need to re-establish their lives and they'll be okay; that's why sometimes those that want to kill themselves aren't always Level Two or Level Three, since it could be a little thing over which they want to kill themselves, like stress. The Level Two's are seen as those that need intensive help. Like, Hinata, one of Kurenai's kids. Have you met her yet?" Asuma asked, looking at Kakashi with a peculiar expression—sort of a mix between anxiety and humor.

"Yes, I met her first; I helped her out of a closet." Kakashi said, remembering earlier that day. "Cute kid." Kakashi added.

"Yeah, and she's also a perfect example of a Level Two. See, she's actually an heiress. But her father would abuse her mentally and emotionally, and allegedly physically, as well. Because of the environment she grew up in, she developed an intense inferiority complex."

Kakashi thought back to his encounter with Hinata again. "I believe that." Kakashi said. "And a guilt complex."

"Uh huh. So, because of that, she has a lot of emotional baggage to sort through before she's ready to leave. That's why Level Two's stay longer than Level One's.

"Now, Level Three's, on the other hand, are seen as too far gone—hopeless, nothing we can do. That's why they will stay here for the rest of their lives. Because of this, they have extra privileges that the other Levels don't have, since they will get to leave someday, but the Level Three's won't. The extra privileges are so that it can help them with their stay here."

Kakashi thought about this for a while, as Asuma gave more Level Three's their medication. Once, they even saw Gai pass them, but he was gone before they could talk to him, if they had wanted to.

As they walked down the hallway, hearing a dim echo of 'Youth!', Kakashi thought of something else that he was wondering about.

"Hey, Asuma. Earlier, you said that Gai was upset because one of his kids had to have his exorcism at the same time as him having to be here. Why does he have to have an exorcism?" Kakashi asked, still reading his book.

"Because his mother wants him to. His name's Rock Lee, and apparently, he came home one day, completely changed, so his mother thinks that he might be possessed, or something. He has an exorcism every day, but nothings changed."

"O-kay. So, he had a personality change and his mother thinks he's possessed?"

"He's a mini-Gai. What apparently happened is Lee saw Gai once, and Gai was shouting about his personal code of ethics, and Lee has idolized him ever since. This is, though, Gai doesn't remember it happening, so he doesn't know. Gai calls Lee his protégé, though." Asuma added thoughtfully.

"Ah." Kakashi said. It was all that needed to be said.

When they covered all of the Level Three patients that they could find, Kakashi and Asuma headed back to the elevator. Before they could go too far, however, they heard a thump in the air duct over their heads.

"What was that?" Kakashi asked. Before Asuma could answer, the opening gave way, and something fell out.

"What the-" Asuma said, looking at the thing that had fallen out of the air duct. Except, this "thing" was a person.

"…Naruto, what were you doing in the air ducts?" Kakashi asked, looking at Naruto on the floor.

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**Well, that seems like a good place to stop. I was planning one writing a little bit more, but here's as good a place as any. By the way, in case anyone's wondering, why Gai calls Kakashi Ka-kashe is because that's what it sounds like in the English version when Gai first appears, and my sister and I fell in love with that. So, you'll probably *cough*definitely*cough* see Gai calling him that again. Despite my horrible lack of updating skills, please review!**


	6. Learning about cell 10

**So, here's the newest chapter! Yay, and right before Christmas, too! My present, to you! Happy holidays, everyone, and have a good new year!**

**Disclaimer: Maya-chan2007 does not own Naruto, nor does she own psychopathic elevator systems, nor does she have any real ties to the government-she does, however, know people who know people in various parts of the government. Don't ask.**

**Rating: T for swearing. Future and past swearing, that is, since nobody swears in this chapter.**

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"_What was that?" Kakashi asked. Before Asuma could answer, the opening gave way, and something fell out._

"_What the-" Asuma said, looking at the thing that had fallen out of the air duct. Except this "thing" was a person._

"…_Naruto, what were you doing in the air ducts?" Kakashi asked, looking at Naruto on the floor._

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"Kakashi-sensei, what are you doing here?" Naruto shouted cheerfully, looking up at Kakashi and Asuma who were looking down at him.

"Well, I work here, and I'm doing my job up here. As for why _you're_ here, there's no reason, really." Kakashi said, crouching down to Naruto's eye level.

"Y-yeah, well, um, I, uh, got lost." Naruto stuttered, looking away, embarrassed.

"…Got lost? In the air duct/ventilation system?" Kakashi asked skeptically. Asuma was leaning against the wall, enjoying the show.

"Yeah, I rarely come up here, usually I stay around Level's One and Two, so I don't have this Level memorized yet. But don't worry, I will, and then I won't fall out anymore! Oh, and also, I'm installing some lights, so that way I can see better!" Naruto cheered happily. Kakashi and Asuma sweat-dropped.

"Naruto, you shouldn't crawl around in the air ducts, it's dangerous and you could get in trouble." Kakashi scolded gently.

"Aw, but only if I get caught!" Naruto protested.

"Well, Naruto, you've just been caught." Kakashi said, helping Naruto up.

"What? What do you mean, Kakashi-sensei? You-you would turn me in?" Naruto asked with puppy-dog eyes, sounding as if he had just been betrayed by someone he trusted with his whole life.

"Well, since this is the first time I've caught you, I'll just give you a warning-no more going into the air ducts. Understand?"

"Sure, sure." Naruto said distractedly as he looked at the hole he just fell out of, clearly planning when next to bring in the lights.

"…You're not listening to me, are you?" Kakashi said, slightly irritated.

"Huh? You say something, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, turning back to face Kakashi and Asuma. Asuma laughed, and muttered under his breath, "You're gonna get it now, kid."

Kakashi instead smiled at Naruto, his one visible eye closed, and said, "Guess you're not going to get any ramen tonight, Naruto."

Naruto gasped, stumbled back, a shocked expression on his face. He sounded like he was trying to gasp for air, clearly not expecting to not be able to eat his precious ramen.

"Now, now. Don't look at me that way; this is your own fault for not listening to me. And it's only for tonight; you can eat ramen again tomorrow." Kakashi scolded again.

"But tomorrow is 48 hours away~!" Naruto whined.

"Naruto-48 hours is two days." Kakashi explained. _Now I know why they were so desperate to hire someone here,_ Kakashi thought

"What?!? Now I can't have ramen for _two_ days?!?" Naruto yelled, panicking, and apparently already going into withdrawal.

"No, just today. Now let's get back to elevator so we can go back down." Kakashi suggested, leading the way. Naruto followed behind dejectedly, his head down.

"Wow, and I thought my kids had problems; that was great, by the way. The last person Naruto had as a councilor quit right after meeting him." Asuma said, walking next to Kakashi.

"Yeah, but that was because he couldn't handle me. Kakashi-sensei can! I've already set up a bet with Teme that he'll last for at least six weeks!" Naruto called up to where the sensei's/councilors were.

"I'm glad you have such faith in me, Naruto." Kakashi said, turning to face Naruto. Turning back to Asuma, he asked, "So what are your kids like?"

"Well, first there's Yamanaka Ino. She's a Level One, and she's here because of an eating disorder. She just won't eat at all, and she was first admitted here when her parents found her passed out from not eating anything for a week." Asuma explained.

"But aren't you supposed to die after a few days without eating?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah, that's what we thought, too. But apparently she's been not eating for a while, so her body has adapted to where she can go for about two weeks without eating. Luckily, it hasn't come to that, since whenever she doesn't eat at least one dish a day, we hook her up to an IV drip. Now, another one of my kids, Akimichi Choji, is the direct opposite of Ino—he's also here for an eating disorder, Level One, too, but his problem is that he keeps eating constantly. You have no idea how hard it is to stop him from eating Ino's food, and from trying to get Ino to eat her own food, instead of giving it to Choji."

"Yeah, Choji's always stealing people's food, though he hasn't yet successfully gotten my ramen yet! Well, except for later today, now." Naruto said resentfully, clearly still upset about not getting his ramen for the day.

"Well, you shouldn't have been breaking the rules." Asuma said jokingly back to Naruto.

"Oh, yeah, like Shikamaru doesn't break the rules too! He's always skipping from stuff, and he's always sneaking outside to watch the clouds! How lazy can you get! And he sometime brings Choji with him too!" Naruto argued back, trying to prove his point.

"Who's Shikamaru?" Kakashi asked.

"Oh, that's my other kid. Nara Shikamaru, Level Two, with an I.Q. of over 200. The thing is, though, is that he's really un-motivated. And, as Naruto said, extremely lazy. He's here because the government sent him here." Asuma said, sounding slightly proud, for some reason.

"…The government sent him here? Why?" Kakashi asked, confused.

"Because of his intellect. When he took an I.Q. test, his teacher was surprised by what she found, and informed the principal, who then told the school board, and eventually it got around to the capital, who, taking Shikamaru's personality into play, decided that he was probably some master mind who would try to take over the country someday, or the world—it's a little unclear which. Something about Shikamaru 'biding his time', and 'lulling us into a false sense of security', so they deemed him dangerous, and they have him here for observation." Asuma explained.

"That seems ridiculous. Why would he-?" Kakashi asked, trying to figure out if he had seen Shikamaru earlier in the cafeteria, and if he had, would he have recognized him as a mastermind, like how the government seems to think he is?

"Yeah, it is. If you ever met him, you would know that there would be no way that Shikamaru would do something like that; for one thing, it would be too 'troublesome', as he likes to say, and he would be too lazy to do anything about it." Asuma explained.

By now, they had reached the elevator doors, and Gai was already there, waiting for Kakashi and Asuma, and now Naruto, to be finished with their rounds.

"Ah, Ka-kashe! So we meet again, after this gloriously youthful battle!" Gai said grandly, ignoring Asuma and Naruto.

"Ka-kashe? What's that mean, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, confused at the nickname.

"Oh, that's just what Gai calls me. Oh, and if you or anyone else calls me by that name, I will never speak to you again." Kakashi said tightly, slightly embarrassed that Gai would call him that in front of one of his kids.

"So, Ka-kashe! How many patients did you get? I myself got 17 patients." Gai said proudly.

"Actually, Gai, I didn't participate, so I didn't get any." Kakashi said, pressing the button for the elevator.

While Gai was doing some sort of victory dance over the fact that Kakashi lost (completely ignoring the fact that Kakashi didn't participate), the elevator started talking to Kakashi again.

"_How_ many are COMING **down**-_Kakashi?"_ The computer asked.

"Myself, Asuma, and Gai." Kakashi said, saying Gai's name slightly bitterly.

Suddenly, without warning, a giant buzz-saw came out of the side of the elevator and approached Naruto menacingly.

"-And Uzumaki Naruto!" Kakashi added quickly, before the elevator could do any damage. _WHY does an elevator have something like that?_ Kakashi thought.

After calming Naruto down, and informing Gai about how he didn't really win, the four men entered the elevator.

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**Well, that's as good a place as any to end this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Sorry it's just a filler chapter, but at least you now know why cell 10 is there. Oh, and about why Shikamaru's there—I couldn't think of any other reason why he would be there, and this seemed like an interesting twist. Also, I've updated not only before Christmas, but sooner than I usually do! Yay me! So, please review! The one's who do get Christmas cookies!**


	7. Everyone else and illegal medication

**Hi! Yeah, sorry it's been a while. In my defense, I had stuff to do, like go to a funeral, and a whole week of band. Also, I had chores to do. Yeah. Chores. Whatever, this chapter's here now! Also, sorry it gets kinda sad near the end.**

**Disclaimer-Maya-chan2007 does not own Naruto, 'cause if she did, and this sort of stuff happened in the series, people would hate me.**

**Dedication: To the people who reviewed and told me to hurry up and update, though not in so many words.**

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After the elevator took Kakashi, Naruto, Asuma, and an energetic Gai down to Level Two, Kakashi made sure that nobody would give Naruto any ramen for that night, since he had not listened to Kakashi's warning about not going back into the air ducts. Naruto pouted the entire way back to his room, which he shared with Sasuke.

After watching Naruto sulk away down the hall, Asuma suggested to Kakashi that they should rest in the faculty lounge, which was on the same Level that they were on. Gai had already run off the moment the elevator had opened its doors wide enough, and was currently with his group of patients, specifically Lee and seeing how he was doing after his exorcism.

When Asuma and Kakashi arrived at the faculty lounge, they saw that both Kurenai and Anko were already there, drinking coffee and talking. They stopped talking when Kakashi and Asuma entered, and made room for them at the small square table they were seated at.

"So, how was your first day here at the asylum?" Anko asked Kakashi, smirking slightly.

"…Apart from Gai, and one of my kids wanting to kill herself with a plastic spork, and another wanting to kill his brother, and the last climbing around in the air ducts, it was okay." Kakashi answered.

"Well, it's not going to get any better! Best enjoy it for as much as you can. By the way, some of us have a bet going on about how long you'll stay here. So, if you want to do some one a favor, at least last a week." Anko said while smiling largely, her eyes closed.

"…Thanks. I'll try." Kakashi replied. _But for some reason, I can't bring myself to be too mad at her. Or the rest of them, either. I'm sure that I would probably do something like that too, if I were in their position._

"Oh, don't listen to her. You're doing a great job here, and it's only the first day." Kurenai said, sending a reproachful look to her friend. Anko just flashed the peace sign and went back to drinking her coffee.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked, trying to remember when he did something note-worthy.

"This morning, when you helped me with Hinata. She seems happier, or at least less miserable than usual, since she knows that it wasn't her fault that I broke my nail. Neji helped, of course, but he's her cousin, and is slightly over-protective of her. That's why he's here, actually." Kurenai added thoughtfully.

"So he's not actually a patient here? He's here to make Hinata feel better?" Kakashi asked.

"No, he's a patient here-Level Two, like Hinata. Where Hinata has an inferiority complex because she was abused by her father, Neji has a superiority complex that he developed to try and help his cousin. I don't really get it myself, but it's something like he kept trying to get Hinata to believe him when he would tell her that she wasn't a failure, so he got his complex from telling her to listen to him, since he knew everything, or something along those lines." Kurenai said.

Kakashi thought about this for a minute, and then asked, "So is Neji another one of your kids?"

"Oh, no, he's one of Gai's. My other two are both Level One's, Aburame Shino, he wears dark sunglasses all the time, and a large jacket with a hood over his head and only talks to bugs, and Inuzuka Kiba, who has a dog, Akamaru. Kiba, well, we're not sure if he thinks of himself as a dog, or of Akamaru as a human." Kurenai said, sweat dropping a little.

"I've already told you about my kids, and we all know yours, but Gai has his kids too. There's Lee, who I've told you about already, Neji, who Kurenai just told you about, and then there's Tenten-"

"-She's the girl who was with Neji earlier." Kurenai said, interrupting.

"-Yes, and she doesn't have a last name. Apparently, her parents abandoned her when she was really young, and the government never thought to give her a name when she was staying in foster care and at various different orphanages. She was brought in for a psychological evaluation, so she's Level One." Asuma said, looking at Kurenai questioningly for interrupting him. Kurenai shrugged in response, and turned to ask Anko something.

"Why is she here for an evaluation?" Kakashi asked.

"Because, her apartment, (she was allowed to stay at one by herself), was randomly raided to make sure she didn't have anything illegal there, and they found a hoard of weapons stashed all over the place, hidden in various places. What originally tipped them off is a weapons dealer, in exchange for a lighter sentence, gave over the names of all of his clients, and hers popped up among the more frequent names. So, the government decided that she might be trying to do something drastic, or dramatic, or something illegal, so they sent her here. Particularly when she was chatting with some of the officers who seized her apartment, and she started talking weapons with them-they said that even they, who had served about thirty years on the force, learned some things from her that they didn't know about different types of weapons, such as how their made, what sort of fire-power, if any, they have, and other things like that. Gai says she's just being youthful about what she likes." Asuma explained.

"Did I just hear my name youthfully announced?" Gai said, walking into the room.

"Yeah, we were just talking about your kids. Speaking of which, how's Lee doing?" Anko asked, turning to look at him.

"Poor, poor, youthful Lee! They say that he is still possessed with the demons that afflict him!" Gai said, sobbing into his arm.

"Well, I'm sure that he'll be okay soon," Kurenai said uncertainly, not sure how best to comfort him.

Before anyone could say anything, though, they were interrupted by screams coming from the air duct.

"No! Stay away from me with that Jashin-forsaken POISON!!!" Came a voice that sounded to Kakashi very much like Hidan's from when he met him earlier.

"No! I don't want to hear the voices! I don't want to see them like that!" Cried a feminine voice.

"Stay away from her!" Snarled a voice that sounded like Pein's.

"Please stop! It hurt's us! _Get away from us now, or I'll eat you!"_ Said a voice that sounded like it had changed pitches half-way through what it was saying. The voice was also referring to itself in the second person.

"Tobi's a good boy! Please stay away from Tobi! Tobi doesn't want to be poisoned!" Came a slightly high-pitched voice.

"Well, then, to prove you're a good boy, you can be the first one to take your medicine. It's supposed to make you better; don't you want to take it?" Came a calm voice, far calmer than the other's had been, but was still slightly mocking.

Kakashi quickly looked around, already standing. He was about to rush out of the room, not sure what he was actually going to do, when he noticed that everyone else in the room was still standing/sitting where they were, except they all had various guilty, sad, or any combination thereof expressions. By now, the screaming had all but ceased, and the only noise they heard was the calm-yet-sarcastic voice saying, "Now, was that too bad?"

"What-what just happened to them? Who was that, and what did they mean by 'poison'?" Kakashi asked, still not quite believing what had just happened.

"You remember me telling you about how we could never catch the Akatsuki, and get them to take their medicine? Well, that was Kabuto, head of the medication department in the actual third floor. He's also the boss/owner of the asylum's head assistant-" Asuma started to say.

"You mean henchman, right?" Anko muttered to herself so quietly that Kakashi almost didn't hear what she said.

"-and he knows the best how to get the Akatsuki to take their medicine. Because of the medicine's effects that it has on them, they call it poison. Kabuto's the only one who can actually make them take their medicine." Asuma explained.

Kakashi didn't know what to say to that, so he said nothing.

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**Well, that seems to be as good a place as any to stop. Anyways, I need to get to work on my homework, and revising a paper for my English class. Damn senior portfolio. Damn it. *Sigh* Anyways, so, it's started on the illegal testing! Yay! Wait—never mind. So, please review!**


	8. New faces

…**Yeah, I know this is late. But, don't blame me, blame the Ice Storm. Stupid, inconvenient, tree-murdering, power outage-causing !#%#$%#% But I digress. Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Maya-chan does not own Naruto, anymore than she has the power to stop natural disasters. And if you saw the news when the storm hit, you'll know just how much power she has over that. X(**

**Dedication: To…thesaurus? It helps with words when I'm describing things!**

* * *

About a week later, Kakashi was slowly getting used to his job at the asylum. His duties there were the same as on his first day-watch the cafeteria while the patients ate (AKA, read his favorite novels), group therapy with Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura (Naruto was still trying to persuade Kakashi into letting him back into the air ducts, Sasuke came up with more and more inventive and complex ways to try and kill his brother, none of which worked, and Sakura came up with more and more inventive and complex ways to kill herself, none of which worked; Sasuke and Sakura would compare notes and try to think of what they were doing wrong), and hand out medicine on Level Three. The only thing different was that Kakashi never saw the Akatsuki at all that week. From what Asuma told him, apparently they were too drugged up to leave their rooms, and would hopefully be in a better position to take their necessary medication; if all went well, then they would hopefully be better by the middle of the next week.

Who Kakashi did see that week were a trio of siblings, two boys and a girl, who were there seemingly because of their abusive father who was now in prison. When Kakashi asked the person in charge of their group therapy, a big man who had red tattoo's on the side of his head with bandages wrapped around it, named Baki, he told Kakashi that their father tried to kill the youngest, a boy with red hair and a tattoo of "love" on the left side of his forehead named Gaara. Also, the father had emotionally abused him, saying that he was a monster who had killed his mother. She apparently, died giving birth to him. Because of the constant attempts on his life, Gaara had developed insomnia from staying up night after night.

His sister, Temari, who was oldest, was forgotten and ignored by their father, so she started acting out and as such now had an unhealthy personality.

Their brother, the middle child, Kankuro, was treated far differently. Perhaps because he looks so much like their father, he was their father's favorite. Their father spent all of his time and energy on Kankuro, so Kankuro had to grow up fast, and was not able to spend his childhood like other children. Because of his separation from others except for his fathers' associates, Kankuro was forced to think poorly of others, to the degree where he naturally was suspicious of others and their intentions, and had disdain for children and kids.

Also who Kakashi saw that week was a new member of his counseling group, Sai.

Sai didn't have a last name, and only referred to himself as 'Sai'. He was there because in a raid that the government did upon one of its own branches of government, it was found that the leader and head of that branch, Danzo, had been kidnapping orphaned children and was teaching them to be mindless drones for the government's disposal. Sai, in particular, was raised to not have any emotions, and to be extremely loyal to the government and nation. In short, Sai was there to regain his emotions, and to be able to socialize with his peers more.

One day, when Kakashi was to introduce Sai to Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura, things did not go well from the get-go.

"Kakashi-sensei, who is this chump, and why's he look like he's looking down on us, huh?" Naruto asked suspiciously, looking at Sai with a slight pouty face and through squinty eyes.

"This 'chump', as you so nicely put it, is Sai. He's going to be joining us in our group therapy. And when I say 'our' group therapy, I mean _your_ therapy. Now, play nice." Kakashi said, sitting down in his chair and reading his novel as he was explaining.

"Hmph. I still don't see why you should just suddenly join us." Naruto said softly, looking away.

"Indeed. You don't seem like anything special. And you throw temper tantrums like a girl. Are you sure you're a boy?" Sai asked, smiling his fake smile, which was the only smile that he had.

Naruto, feeling that his male pride was in question, jumped up shouting, "Hey, what'd I ever do to you? Of course I'm a guy, jeez; you don't just ask people that!"

Sakura, however, saw a different problem with this situation. "Sai, the way you said that made it seem like you don't think of women as equals. That's not true, is it?" Sakura asked, smiling with her eyes closed.

"But of course I do. Women are genetically made weaker than men, and therefore are not as important as men and are quicker to temper than men." Sai said this as if it was the most common knowledge in the world.

Sakura continued smiling at Sai, but next thing Kakashi knew, Sakura had launched herself in attack at Sai and had knocked him to the ground. She would have also punched, kicked, and/or continued to attack randomly if it hadn't been for Kakashi grabbing her around her waist. From the looks on Sasuke's and Naruto's faces, he had apparently moved quicker than they thought he would, or could.

_Shows them to judge me like a book,_ Kakashi thought.

"Now, now. Didn't I say to play nicely? That means that Sakura, you don't need to be so quick to anger-the same goes for you as well, Naruto. Sai, don't insult people when you first meet them, and yes, I know that you know you were insulting them. And Sasuke-yes, I know you didn't do anything, but that's the problem-don't just stand around and watch the people in your group get insulted, or insult each other. Don't think that you're above them-get to know them, and maybe this won't happen. That goes for everyone, actually." With that, Kakashi set Sakura down again, and saw that everyone looked appropriately abashed, with the exception of Sai, who knew that he should, but wasn't sure as to how he should go about that.

Kakashi sighed when he saw this. "We have a lot of work to do to build up your trust in each other."

"Trust?" Sakura asked, looking confused.

"Yes, trust. Your goal is to eventually get out of here, right? And I mean your over all goal, not the one's that involve either killing yourself, your brother, or climbing around in the air ducts. To be able to get out of here, one of the things that you need to demonstrate is that you can get along with society. The first step to that is to be able to get along with each other, and to do that, first you need to trust each other. So, why don't you start thinking of the other's here first, instead of yourself?" Kakashi stopped here, thinking, _Damn, I'm on a roll._ "If it helps, think of yourselves as a team. A team looks out for itself, so think of this as training for when you get out of here."

With that, Kakashi sat back in his chair again and continued to read his book while keeping a secret eye on the kids. After a while, they too sat back down, and hesitantly started up a conversation.

"Um, we started on the wrong foot. Here, I'm Haruno Sakura. This is Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke. And you're Sai. Do you have any hobbies?" Sakura asked, clearly trying to do her part in the 'teamwork' plan.

"Yes. I like art. And trying to discover emotions. Actually, I received a book that is supposed to help me with social interactions, and it says that one way to achieve a rapport with others is if you call each other by nicknames. Do you mind if I give you a nickname?" Sai asked, also trying to get to know the others. Sakura looked flattered that Sai was asking her something like that, and Naruto looked like he thought that Sai was just kissing up to her. Sasuke, Kakashi noted, looked a little bit upset about this exchange.

_Note to self; Sakura likes attention, has split personality. Naruto, also likes attention, not very quick to forgive. Sasuke, perhaps a bit jealous of Sai?_ Kakashi thought, taking mental notes.

"Sure, Sai, I would like that!" Sakura said brightly.

"Alright…hag." Sai replied, after deliberating for a moment.

"WHY YOU!" Sakura started, when Sasuke stopped her by holding his arm out in front of her.

"Don't. You never know, Kakashi might be listening, and it wouldn't be very good for our 'teamwork'." Sasuke explained calmly.

"Oh! You're right, I forgot. Sorry, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura apologized.

"Hey, hey, Sakura-chan! I would have stopped you too, but Teme got to it first!" Naruto said, trying to get Sakura to pay attention to him, too.

_Correction-Naruto, attention whore,_ Kakashi thought to himself. _It's so funny how they think I'm not listening, but if it helps…_

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**Yeah, I know it's short, but I haven't updated in a while, and I have a bit of a writer's block. I might know where this is going, but for now it's not coming. Anyways, though, please review!**


	9. The Akatsuki's problems

**Hello, everybody! ^_^ I know it's been, like, eternity since I last updated, but that's because I've been busy with Portfolio Writings for English. My teacher kept keeping the writings, 'cause she had to go over two or three different classes, and she kept changing the deadline, though luckily I made it! XD Anyways, this chapter's extra long because of the wait, and I hope you enjoy it!**

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Chapter Title (I wish): Who, who, who are we? We are Akatsuki!

About a week after Sai joined the counseling group, Kakashi gained a new job for his free time that he inevitably had when Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and now Sai had their school lessons. Just because they were insane didn't mean that they didn't get to have an education, was the general thought of the asylum.

Kakashi's new job during these "free periods" of his was to watch over the patients in the courtyard. All of these patients happened to be Level Threes, who didn't have to take any classes since they would never need what was taught to them as they wouldn't be leaving. Such was one of the benefits, or drawbacks depending how you looked at it, for the Level Threes.

One such group of Level Threes that Kakashi noticed out in the courtyard, leaning against the back wall and chatting to themselves, was the Akatsuki.

_Looks like they're feeling better,_ thought Kakashi, wandering over to them. But as he approached them, Kakashi noticed that they seemed different from the few times he had seen them before they were "medicated".

For example, they were standing a bit more stiffly than what was probably comfortable, some quickly shifting their eyes to watch those that passed by them until they were a ways away, and most of them were not as loud or noisy as they usually were, with the naturally quiet ones not saying anything at all.

_Maybe I spoke too soon,_ Kakashi revised his previous thought. Unconsciously, though it could have been from the glares that they were giving everyone, Kakashi moved over to the right a little bit so that he wasn't approaching head on.

Zetsu still noticed him, however.

"**What do you want, medicine man?"** Zetsu growled at Kakashi, directing the Akatsuki's attention to him. "That's not nice. We don't know that he's actually going to do anything to us. And look, he's unarmed. **Oh, I'll 'un-arm' him, alright. We don't want take any chances."**

_Oh, yeah, Anko did say something about him developing a split-personality. But, why do I feel as if he just made a suggestion to eat me?_ Kakashi thought. He leaned against the wall a few feet away from them, to give them space.

"Zetsu, no eating the medicine man. You don't know where he's been." Pein said evenly, as if he has had to tell him something similar before.

…_Cannibal? _

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to see how you were doing, since this is the first time I've seen you in a few weeks. By the way, we haven't been properly introduced yet. I'm Hatake Kakashi." Kakashi said, introducing himself.

The Akatsuki exchanged a few glances, before deciding that it was okay to answer him. After all, if he tries any funny business, Zetsu could always eat him.

"Tobi's name is Tobi! It's nice to meet you, Kakashi-san!" a teen with an orange and black swirly mask with only an eye hole (the left one) said, in third person, excitedly.

"It's nice to meet you too, Tobi." Kakashi replied graciously.

"And, and-! This is Deidara-sempai! Deidara-sempai always hits Tobi, and says that Tobi's annoying. But Tobi knows that that's just Deidara-sempai's way of showing that he's Tobi's friend!" Tobi added excitedly.

"Like hell it is. You don't know anything, Tobi. Anyway, my name's Deidara, and I like explosions, it's the finest form of art there is! And blowing things up, too. Un." The blonde teenager with long hair in a high ponytail with bangs flipped over his left eye said, glaring at the masked boy.

"…Okay. I'm pretty sure that that could be a crime, unless you have a permit, or something." Kakashi said.

"…Permit, un?" Deidara asked confusedly. Everyone, well, except for Tobi, sweat dropped at that.

"Don't mind the brat. He doesn't know what true art is, like puppets; art is eternal. My name is Akasuna no Sasori, by the way. A pleasure, particularly since you are out numbered, and therefore would find it quite hard to try and administer any medicine to us." Sasori said. He had vibrant red hair, and an air about him that said that others were not worth his time.

"It's not my job to give you medicine now, so there's really no need to be defensive; I'm just supposed to watch the courtyard." Kakashi said. _That's also partly why I'm over here, _Kakashi thought, _since they're the ones who're most likely going to do something._

"Yeah, yeah, so you say. We're still gonna be watching you, so you better pray to Jashin-sama that you don't slip up, seriously. I'm Hidan, and do you follow the religion of Jashin-sama, too?" a teen with violet eyes and slicked back white hair said. Hidan was wearing what appeared to be a necklace/rosary hybrid, and had his cloak open so that you could see his chest. He was also looking expectantly at Kakashi, as if his answer would determine whether Hidan would be civil to him or not.

_Saying yes would be lying and he would find out, and it would be bad,_ Kakashi thought, _but if I say no, who knows what might happen?_

"Uh…I've never heard of it before." Kakashi decided to say. Hidan's eyes widened in surprise.

"Never?! Oh, you poor infidel! But don't worry; you can still be saved if you convert!"

"Um. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm still adjusting to this place, and I have various responsibilities, so I'm afraid I wouldn't have the time to actively…uh, _worship_, your, uh, Jashin-sama."

"You made a wise decision—there's no money or profit in Jashin-ism, or any other religion for that matter. I'm Kakuzu." A teen with a mask similar to Kakashi's on his face, with a hood over the top part of his head, so that the only thing you could see of his face was his eyes. "By the way, want to buy a watch?" Kakuzu opened his cloak part-way, showing various watches attached to the inside. One in particular caught Kakashi's eye.

"Hey…Isn't that my watch?" Kakashi asked, pointing to a particularly nice one on the side. Glancing at his own wrist, Kakashi saw that it was devoid of his favorite wristwatch.

"Of course it isn't." Kakuzu said a bit too quickly. Kakashi cocked an eyebrow at that.

"No, I'm pretty sure that it's my watch. It has my name engraved on it…" Kakashi said, examining the bottom of the watch.

"It's a popular name, and is also a brand name in…Portugal." Kakuzu insisted.

"No it's not. And my name's not as common as you are trying to lead me to believe."

"And how would you know that?" the blue man, Kisame, asked.

"Because Gai was my college roommate. You should know that he likes to look things like that up." Kakashi replied. Everyone quickly understood, however, as soon as he said 'Gai'.

"…You can have it half off." Kakuzu said.

"But-it's my watch. Come on, give it here." Kakashi said, caught up in trying to get his watch back. The rest of the Akatsuki were chuckling to themselves, clearly in better spirits than they were in earlier.

"Half off, and that's my final offer."

"Or, I could get it for free, and I won't tell any of the other employees about this."

"…Seventy-five percent off. Now, this is a very good offer…"

The haggling continued for about five more minutes, though the on-lookers (the Akatsuki) weren't bored by it at all. On the contrary, they found it very amusing and even put in their own opinions, either to help Kakashi or Kakuzu. Eventually Kakashi got his watch back.

_Well, that was a fair price,_ Kakashi thought, putting his watch back on while Kakuzu counted his new money. _Though I feel like I've been had…_

"Heh heh, I can't believe you bought your own watch back! Too funny! I'm Hoshigake Kisame, and if you make one 'Finding Nemo' joke, I swear I won't be held accountable for my actions. Part shark, you see." Kisame said good-naturedly, despite the implication of what he just said. The blue haired and blue skinned teen, who was smiling widely, had shark teeth as well as gills on his cheeks.

"I wouldn't think of it. Speaking of being part shark-forgive me if I'm being rude-but can you breathe underwater with your gills?" Kakashi asked, genuinely curious.

"Hell yeah, I can! In fact, they have to practically drain the huge-ass fountain over there just to get me to come out!" Kisame said loudly, and proudly.

"I see…"

"That's enough, Kisame. You're starting to scare some of the other patients. My name is Uchiha Itachi." A teen with slightly longish black hair in a ponytail said. Itachi had lines under his eyes, and apparently was wearing red contacts.

"Ah, you're Itachi. I have your brother in the therapy group I oversee." Kakashi said, thinking _I wonder if he hates his brother as much as his brother hates him…_

The Akatsuki, when they heard this, cast hidden glances toward Itachi, as if expecting something. Itachi looked away, looking as if he was trying to look aloof and uninterested. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at their behavior, and waited since it looked like Itachi was going to say something. Looking a bit behind Itachi, Kakashi saw that Kisame and Kakuzu were pulling out money and were whispering to each other before shaking hands.

"…How is Sasuke's health?" Itachi finally said, apparently not noticing the betting going on behind him, of which Kisame won.

"Oh, he's healthy enough; quite vigorous, actually. He keeps plotting how to kill you." Kakashi wasn't sure if he should have added the last part, but he thought that he should at least warn Itachi.

"Hn. I suppose I deserve that. By the way, Sasuke, shouldn't you be at your lessons now?" Itachi asked a shrub.

Kakashi, along with the rest of the Akatsuki, quickly looked around to see a shrub next to Deidara shutter, and then Sasuke climbed out, glared at Itachi and then let loose a string of curses at Itachi.

"Now, now. Mother would disapprove, and she was married to father when they had me. And you've been spending too much time around Hidan…" Itachi scolded, glaring at Hidan when he said the last part. Hidan shrugged in response.

Sasuke glared once more, then threw down a spork that he had apparently smuggled out of the cafeteria, and stomped back to the facility and to his lessons.

Itachi watched as Sasuke left for a bit, then turned his attention back to Kakashi. "Yes, I knew of his plans to murder me. They're not very successful, but that's mostly due to his not being very imaginative."

"…Okay…"Kakashi said slowly, not really sure what was appropriate to say in situations like that.

Luckily for Kakashi, Pein chose that moment to introduce himself. "My name, Hatake Kakashi, A.K.A. medicine man, A.K.A. Kakashi-sensei, A.K.A. Ka-kashe-!, is Pein, a god. Not THE God, but A god. And this is God's Angel, Konan." Pein said, gesturing to the only female among their group. Pein had orange hair, gray eyes, and piercings. Lots and lots of piercings. Konan had blue hair, like Kisame, a single piercing, a lip stud, and had a paper rose in her hair, which was in a bun on the side of her head. Konan merely nodded towards Kakashi when she was introduced.

Kakashi was impressed, and a little creeped out, that Pein knew what everyone called him. But he was also a little worried when Pein introduced himself as a god, and also when he introduced Konan as his angel. She didn't even blink when he introduced her as such.

_Okay, he definitely has a god complex, literally, and she apparently thinks of herself as an angel. I can see why they're Level Three…_ Kakashi thought.

Pein continued with introductions, though. "And this is Zetsu. He has two sides to him, so be polite to both sides. Also be polite to Konan and myself, along with the rest of my Akatsuki." Pein said sternly.

"I wouldn't dream of being anything less." Kakashi said to pacify the man who thought he was a god.

"Hmph. We'll see." Pein said in reply, and turned his head away, clearly done with his part of the conversation.

After a brief moment of silence, Kakashi asked, "So, how is that you each got here? I admit, I'm mildly curious."

After looking at each other, the Akatsuki answered, for those that would bother answering, as one, "Death."

Seeing the look that Kakashi had on his face, the Akatsuki burst out laughing, though a few only smiled.

"Well, except for Tobi, un, that's pretty much why we're here." Deidara answered in between laughing.

"What the brat means is that he's here because he was accused of the bombings that happened against the Iwa political buildings a few years ago, so the authorities thought that if he did do it, then Deidara should be put up for being mentally unbalanced—critiquing the explosions probably didn't help his case, either." Sasori explained.

"Oh, yeah, Sasori-no-danna, un? Well at least my reason's actually sort of cool; you're just here because your parents died, and you didn't cope too well since it happened when you were a kid, and you would build puppets of them, so your grandmother sent you here for 'help'." Deidara fired back, pouting slightly.

"Oh, yeah? Well _I'm_ here 'cause the government doesn't see the true way of Jashin-sama, so they sent me here to rot in this Jashin-forsaken hell-hole to rot for all my f***ing life, 'cause they don't want to face the truth!" Hidan added in, looking like he thought this was a contest.

Kakuzu translated what Hidan said for Kakashi. "Basically, he was sent here because he was scaring people on the street while preaching about his religion; they were especially frightened when he mentioned 'death' in practically every sentence. The police thought he was insane, so they sent him here. Also, he inflicts bodily harm to himself and swears so much they think he has Tiretz."

"Oh, that makes much more sense." Kakashi said.

"Hey! Kakuzu, you bastard…You're here for a sissy reason, too." Hidan complained. "Kakuzu's here cause of 'un-healthy obsessions', according to some shrink. Something about collecting and hoarding thread and money, not showing his face, and sneaking into autopsies and examining dead people's hearts."

"What? They're fascinating." Kakuzu said, not looking fazed. A few people took a few steps away from him when he said this.

"Well, you know why Zetsu and I are here, probably. We were experimented on, something to do with combining human D.N.A. with that of other things, in my case a shark, and in Zetsu's case, a plant." Kisame explained.

"A carnivorous plant." Zetsu corrected.

"Yeah, that. Anyways, there were lots more of us there, but they didn't make it in time for the raid that the government did. So, Zetsu and I are the only one's left, and the government didn't like it that we didn't know who it was that was behind the experiments, since the other doctors at the facility refused to talk, or killed themselves, or were killed by the police when they tried to attack back, so no one knows who it was behind the thing. All we know is that they called him Mr. O. Biggest-generic-evil-scientist/mad-doctor-name-ever in my opinion!" Kisame followed up.

"**What I would give to take a bite out of him…** But then again, do we really want to eat some of _that_?" Zetsu said to…himself. "Vaguely, shouldn't we be slightly grateful? If it wasn't for those experiments, you wouldn't be here." Zetsu said again…to himself.

"Hm? What do you mean?" Kakashi asked.

"Well, when I was being experimented on, it wasn't so good for my psyche. That's why some of the others died, because they had to be 'put down', as the scientists said, or they would have killed others around them because their minds were broken. I didn't want that to happen, so I inadvertently created my split personality, to better handle the…experiments. **I still say I should have eaten them right then and there, but nooo, you said that that would be bad.**" Zetsu said, and…complained to himself.

"If you've spoken to my brother, then you will know that I am here because our family was massacred, and I am to blame, according to my brother. The police weren't sure, so they put me here for intensive care, and my brother here because of the emotionally scarring that he must have gotten from seeing our family being killed in front of his eyes." Itachi said.

"…Yeah. But did you do it?" Kakashi asked, curious despite the morbidity of the crime.

"…I guess you could say that."

"…Okay…" Kakashi said, not sure what to make of that. He was about to turn to Pein and Konan, to ask them since they didn't appear to be paying attention when Deidara quickly grabbed his sleeve.

"Psst! Don't ask them about it, especially Konan-chan! She still hasn't gotten over what happened, and Pein hates it when you ask, un." Deidara whispered quickly but quietly. The rest of the Akatsuki, save for Pein and Konan, who were still not paying attention, and Tobi who had found a butterfly and was chasing it, went stiff and cast quick, worried glances towards Pein and Konan, who were watching Tobi chase said butterfly.

"Why? What happened?" Kakashi asked, keeping his voice down automatically at the looks the Akatsuki were giving him.

"Pein and Konan-chan were friends even before they came here. I think they even mentioned growing up together, but that's beside the point," Sasori explained. "Konan-chan had two brothers, named Yahiko and Nagato. They were friends with Pein, too. But one day, Pein's mother snapped, or something, and killed Konan-chan's brothers, and tried to kill her and Pein as well. The police got there in time to save Pein and Konan-chan, but not before the experience changed them. Pein gained his god-complex, with the reasoning that if he had had more power, he could have saved them, and he figured that the being with the most power is a god, so that's how he got that. Konan-chan, however, has deep emotional scares, since they saw her brothers killed in front of them, and she was really close to them, since they were by themselves most of the time."

Kakashi whistled softly. _What a thing to happen to you, when you're so young…_

"What are you talking about over there?" Pein asked, noticing that almost all of the Akatsuki was huddled over by Kakashi. Konan looked on boredly.

"Oh, everyone was just telling me about why Tobi was here." Kakashi supplied as an answer, saving them from having to tell about what they were talking about.

"Oh. Well, all you have to do is look." Pein said dismissively.

A few Akatsuki members sighed in relief. Kakashi looked over to where Tobi was talking to the butterfly he finally caught.

"There's gotta be a screw loose there, un," Deidara said, also looking at Tobi. He's what, sixteen? He acts like he's six. And he talks in third person. And he's clingy. There's no question that he belongs here."

"Deidara-sempai, look what Tobi found!" Tobi said excitedly, waving frantically at Deidara, though mercifully for the butterfly, not with the hand it was in.

"…That's great, Tobi."

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**Okay, there's that. Its ten pages, according to Microsoft Word. I made it extra long, partly because of the wait, and partly because I've been waiting to do this scene with the Akatsuki for a while. This seemed to be the perfect place to put this scene, too. Oh, and if your wondering, Kisame and Kakuzu were betting on what Itachi would ask about Sasuke. Kisame knew that it would be something aloof-ish, but Kakuzu thought it would be something more direct, like what Sasuke said about him. The thing with Sasuke coming out of the shrub was inspiration on the spot, but I thought it was too funny to leave out. And they all call Konan Konan-chan. Anyways, if you forgive me for being late for updating, please leave a review. Even if you don't forgive me, please review! ^_^**


	10. Where in the world is Uzumaki Naruto?

**Yeah, I know, you probably want to kill me for not updating in, like, forever, but that's because I just got a laptop, and wireless internet yesterday, so I was typing this chapter up on my laptop, waiting for a chance to update, and today I got a chance. Not much really happens here, since it's a filler chapter, but at least it's something. Please enjoy, and please review! ^_^**

**Disclaimer: The Naruto people would hate me, like, seriously hate me, if I owned it and did these things to them. So, do I own it? No. No I do not. And you know what? I'm happy to have it that way. XD**

**Warning: If there is any misspelled words, sorry. I'm still learning about this laptop, and sometimes things will randomly pop up, and the font and paragraphs will go weird. I've tried proof-reading it, but if I miss anything, it's cause I'm only human. I make mistakes. Anyways, please enjoy!**

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After about four months since Kakashi came to work at the asylum, a strange occurrence appeared. It was about when the Level Ones and Twos were supposed to appear for lunch, it was noticed that Naruto was missing. A search was immediately executed since he is currently a Level Two, and therefore too dangerous to be let out into society without being cured first.

However, even after an extensive search, nobody was able to find or locate Naruto. It was suggested that he may have hidden in the kitchen, so that he would have ready access to his supply of ramen. This was proven false by the cook, a mister Teuchi, who kept an iron grip over his kitchen. It was also suggested that Naruto might have gotten lost in the air ducts, but this was shot down when Kakashi mentioned how during one of his sessions with Naruto, he mentioned that he had made a map of the air duct system, along with having set up lights and even maps at regular intervals.

It wasn't until two weeks after Naruto had disappeared that he was found again. Kakashi was getting everyone in the Level Ones and Twos ready for lunch when the door to the cafeteria suddenly opened, and there in the doorway stood Naruto.

Naruto walked forward and stood in the lunch line, waiting for food with everyone else, acting like nothing was wrong. As far as Kakashi could see, nothing was wrong, except for some bandages on his arm that poked out from under his shirt sleeve, and he was limping slightly on his left leg.

Walking over to Naruto, Kakashi had to wonder; what had happened to Naruto so that he became injured in such a way?

"Naruto, fancy seeing you here," Kakashi said to Naruto in a calm voice, belying his actual feelings. _Where has he been for all this time? What happened to him? Does it have something to do with why he's been gone? Is he okay now?_ Kakashi thought semi-frantically. He had grown a bit fond of not only him, but also of the other kids that he was a counselor/mentor-thing for.

"Oh, hey Kakashi-sensei! So, are they having ramen today?" Naruto asked excitedly, not seeming to notice the vaguely concerned looks that were thrown his way. Well, Hinata's concerned look wasn't vague at all.

…_Little snot, not being bothered by the fact that he was gone for two weeks and that people might have been worried about him, _Kakashi thought angrily.

"…Yes, they do, but you're not getting any." Kakashi replied. Naruto looked scandalized, and even staggered back a few steps, before he was able to answer.

"But—but Kakashi-sensei, why?! Why must you deny me the goodness that is ramen?!"

"Because you disappeared for a few weeks, so you have to pay the consequences of your actions and see the buildings' physician for your injuries." Kakashi explained calmly (or as calmly as he could under the circumstances) and led Naruto out of the cafeteria where people were staring.

"Aw, but I don't want to see the physy…the phsy…the doctor! It's either going to be Kabuto and he's a sadist, or it's gonna be Granny Tsunade, and she's a liar!" Naruto shouted angrily. He ripped his arm out from Kakashi's grasp, and looked away sulkily.

"How is she a liar?" Kakashi asked. He had never actually met either of the doctors who worked at the asylum, so he didn't know either very well, apart from what he had heard of Kabuto from when he gave the Akatsuki their 'medication'.

"Well, she's, like, fifty-something, but she looks twenty-ish! She uses some kind of medical procedure, or something, to look like that!" Naruto said as if this was some sort of crime.

"Well, I'm sure she's still a good doctor," Kakashi said placatingly.

"But, Kakashi-sensei, I don't need to see a doctor, I've already been to one!" Naruto whined, pouting as Kakashi led him away again.

"What do you mean you've already been to see one?" Kakashi asked, suspicious.

"Well, that's why I was gone, I went to see a doctor," Naruto said as though this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"…And how is it that you got so injured that you had to see a doctor, and without anyone knowing?"

"Well, you see, I was doing some climbing up through one of the shafts in the air ducts, when I fell, and hurt my arm and leg real bad, so I crawled out through one of the openings outside and went into town to see the doctor, and she said that I was fine, and that my arm and leg weren't broken, but I still needed to stay there for a while so that I could heal better. So, aren't you proud of me for being able to take care of myself like that?" Naruto asked, sounding pleased with himself.

Before Kakashi had a chance to say, no, no he was not happy with him at all, a voice from behind cut at them suddenly.

"Uzumaki Naruto!" came a woman's voice, though very angrily.

Turning around quickly, Kakashi and Naruto saw a woman with long blond hair tied in two ponytails, wearing a gray shirt that didn't really cover her chest that well, with a green jacket over her shirt, and brown khaki pants. She was giving Naruto a stern, very angry look, and it was while she was glaring at Naruto that Kakashi noticed that she had a purple diamond in the middle of her forehead.

"Tsu-Tsunade-baa-chan…" Naruto squeaked.

_I wonder why she has that._ Kakashi wondered. _Personal preference, maybe?_

Before he could ponder her diamond tattoo-thing, Kakashi was pulled back into the present by Naruto trying to hide behind him without drawing attention to himself.

"Uzumaki Naruto, I know you are there! What, did you think that Shizune wouldn't call and tell me that you were at her hospital?! Didn't she tell you to call here yourself, and to come straight back here?! She says you left there at around six in the morning, and you only arrive here at lunch time?! You better be glad that it's me who found you, and not Orochimaru!" the woman, Tsunade, scolded, grabbing a hold of Naruto's ear. Naruto would flinch at every sentence, which made him pull on Tsunade's grasp on his ear.

"Um, excuse me for a moment of what I am sure is ignorance, but who is Orochimaru?" Kakashi asked, watching in vague amusement of Naruto's punishment. "Oh, and who is Shizune?"

Tsunade looked at him as if he was a complete idiot, but then seemed to notice that he was new, so she answered his question, but still kept a tight hold on Naruto's ear.

"Oh, you must be the Kakashi that everyone's talking about. From what I hear, you won a few people some money, and lost a lot of people a lot of money since you've lasted here for more than a week, and for more than a month, if I'm not mistaken," Tsunade said, not hearing Naruto mutter, yeah, and you lost too, Granny Tsunade…

"Um. Okay, but that doesn't really answer my question," Kakashi said.

"Oh, yeah, question! Orochimaru is the owner, operator, boss, what have you, of the asylum. If he had found out about Naruto coming back later than he should have, then he would be in a lot of trouble. As it is, you still need to go to his office on the fourth floor; he's going to want to have a talk with you about how you left the asylum without permission." Tsunade directed this last part at Naruto, who shivered slightly.

Kakashi almost felt sorry for him, but then he remembered the fuss that had happened while he was gone, such as Sasuke and Sakura talking non-stop about ways to kill their brother/themselves respectively and there was no buffer to stop, or at least halt slightly, their morbid talk other than Kakashi.

Oh, and Hinata locked herself in the closet again, thinking that it was her fault that he had 'left', and Neji was being an arrogant pri-person, trying to convince Hinata that it was Naruto's fate to 'leave'. This made Hinata cry, though, so that didn't work out so well. Sai would say that instead of Naruto 'leaving', it should have been Sasuke. For some reason that Kakashi didn't know yet, Sai didn't like Sasuke, and his attitude made Sasuke not like him back. Lee was upset because his 'youthful' friend was gone, and Gaara seemed upset about this, too. Apparently, Naruto had been making progress on becoming Gaara's friend, and Gaara was disappointed that Naruto had 'left' so suddenly. Pretty much everyone else had no opinion whatsoever about it, though Kiba did mention once how Naruto used to want to play with him and Akamaru sometimes, and how they would pull pranks together.

All in all, their counselors had a lot of trouble with them, except for Asuma and his group, who seemed to be unmotivated. Kakashi didn't really feel that sorry for Naruto.

"As for Shizune, she was my apprentice, when I still took aprenticeses, and now she has her own private practice at the hospital nearby. She's the one who admitted and treated Naruto there," Tsunade explained, shaking Naruto by the ear.

"Ow, ow, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Baa-chan! Stop pulling on my ear!" Naruto whined, holding on to his ear.

"Yeah, yeah. And I told you, stop calling me 'Baa-chan'." Tsunade said while leading Naruto off to where Kakashi could only assume was Orochimaru's office.

"She's a real piece of work, isn't she?" a voice said from behind Kakashi. Turning to look, he saw Anko watching where Tsunade had just been, and she was also eating some dango and some of her namesake. **(An: Anko's name means red bean paste. FYI.)**

"Who, Tsunade-san?" Kakashi asked, wondering how it was that Anko had sneaked up behind him without his noticing.

"Yeah, she doesn't take anything from anybody, well, except for the boss-man. Which reminds me, whenever you have your group sessions, don't mention Orochimaru to Sasuke while he's there—seems to think that he has it out for him, or something." Anko shuddered a bit after saying this, but then regained her usual cat-like grin, saluted Kakashi with her dango, and left.

_That was weird…_Kakashi thought, walking back towards the cafeteria after Anko. After serving his shift for lunch, Kakashi went his way towards the group therapy session room that he had with Naruto, Sasuke¸Sakura, and now Sai.

When Kakashi got to the conference room, Naruto still wasn't there yet, and it didn't appear as if the other members of the group noticed, as they were involved in their own little worlds, what with Sasuke planning elaborate ways to kill Itachi, Sakura writing in her blog, talking about how many ways she could try to kill herself with a spork, and Sai drawing in his sketch book.

Kakashi cleared his throat so that they would pay attention.

"As you've no doubt already heard, Naruto has graced us with his pressence once again. Currently he is checking in with Tsunade-san, since apparently he hurt himself while inside one of his air shafts." Kakashi said to the group, though he looked like he wasn't paying attention to them as he was reading his little orange book.

"I always knew the dobe was an idiot…" Sasuke muttered softly to himself. Sakura shook her head silently, as if she couldn't believe that someone could be so stupid.

Sai had this comment to make; "So, what sort of trouble is *explitive*-less in now?"

Everyone turned to look at Sai with confusion.

"Who?" Kakashi asked, actually pulled out of his book. _And this is one of the best parts, too…_

"*Explitive*-less." Sai repeated, taking on the appearance of one that is surprised that others do not know something so simple. "Naruto-kun." Sai clarified once more.

Unfortunately for Sai, Naruto chose that moment to reappear in the counseling room.

"What did you call me, dattebayo?!" Naruto shouted, aghast.

"*Explitive*-less. According to my book, _Emotions_ _and Social Interactions for Dummies_, it suggests that you give others nicknames to better get along with them, and have a sense of commeraderie," Sai explained. "It also says that when picking names, one way is to choose physical characteristics. That's why you are *explitive*-less, Sakura is Hag-who-wants-to-kill-herself, or Hag for short, and Sasuke is Emo-brother-killing-obsessed-freak, or, Emo for short."

Needless to say, this went over like a ton of bricks.

"Nani?!" Three angry voices asked (shouted) at once.

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**So, there's this chapter. I don't know, it seems kind of short to me. Oh, well. That seemed like an okay place to leave off, though. Oh, and Nani?! means What?! in Japanese, so there you go. Please review, so that way I know if I'm doing okay or not. ^_^**


	11. Group counseling pt 2all together

**Hey, I know it's been a while. But I had stuff going on (see down at the bottom), and, well, here's my crappy excuse for a chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto, I do not own. The idea for an insane asylum fic, not really my original idea. This particular idea for a Naruto insane asylum fic? Yeah, that's mine. Thank you, thank you. Please enjoy!**

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A few weeks after Naruto was found again, Kakashi had the chance to leave the asylum for a week off. Unfortunately for him, he drew the short straw, literally, and had to stay to watch over all of the patients for not only himself but for Gai, Kurenai, Asuma, and for the new counselor after himself, Baki.

To compensate for the lack of room and for all of the new patients, Kakashi was moved to one of the bigger counseling rooms on Level Two. When asked why they couldn't use one of the rooms on Level Three, which was technically on the fifth floor, since they have lots of rooms up there, Kakashi replied to Naruto that since none of them were Level Three patients, and only Kakashi actually worked there, they couldn't go up there.

Sasuke then asked if it was okay for Kakashi to give his brother a 'gift' that he had made himself, but then Asuma walking by told him to look in it first. Apparently Sasuke had been talking with another member of the Akatsuki, Deidara, who also didn't like Itachi, and had learned how to make a bomb. Luckily for everybody, he was terrible at it. Deidara was upset, but only because he couldn't see the 'artwork' in action. Both Sasori and Pein scolded him later. Itachi seemed saddened that he couldn't get a present from Sasuke, even if it would have potentially killed him.

In the first therapy session, Kakashi decided to size up everyone there first, and let them socialize, before actually trying to start the session. Plus he got to read some of his new book, the next in the series by his favorite author.

With his mind half on his new book and half on the patients, Kakashi overheard various things, from a confirmation that Hinata did in fact like-like (as Ino and Sakura put it) Naruto, Lee pledge his devotion to 'youthfulness', Tenten get into an argument with Gaara and Kankuro about which weapons did the most damage and therefore were 'the best', Sai insult people left and right, and what sounded like the start of a conversation about whether he, Kakashi, was actually paying attention to them and whether they could sneak out or do something that they normally wouldn't be allowed to.

At this last remark, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Sai (well, maybe not Sai) started to snort in humor/denial, when Kakashi beat them to it. Everyone in the room froze and stiffened, wondering if they had been caught.

Carefully turning the page in his book, and snorting again, Kakashi successfully managed to make everyone, except for his usual counseling group who knew better, think that he was laughing at a part in his book.

_Don't want them to figure things out too quickly,_ Kakashi thought to himself with a smirk.

The rest of the time passed by quickly, with Kakashi overhearing many things even though Sakura and Naruto tried to get everyone to not talk about anything that might get them in trouble, without success. Sasuke and Sai didn't care about things like that either way.

When the time came for the session to come to a close, Kakashi suddenly closed his book loudly enough to get everyone's attention and stood up. While walking over to the door, Kakashi said something that got everyone's attention.

"Great session, everyone; I heard some very interesting things. Tomorrow is when the real work starts, however."

Glancing into the window that was next to the door's reflection, Kakashi noticed the looks of surprise, indignation, and embarrassment.

_Tomorrow's therapy session is going to be great…_

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**Yeah, I know it's short. That's because I'm at the part of the story where I know what's going to happen, just not how to get there. DX Plus, in a few days I'm going to an anime convention and I'm cosplaying as Konan from the Akatsuki! Yay! All that's left is to dye my hair blue… Oh, and in case you haven't read my other fic, **_**The Sound of Ninja**_**, I've graduated from high school! Also, I've discovered mahjong. Very, very addicting. So, even though this chapter was really, really short, and I seriously hate leaving you with such a short chapter, please review, if only to tell me that it's too short. Thanks!**


	12. Mega Group CounselingIntroductions

**You know, after re-reading what I've written before, I've noticed a few things. 1) I tend to repeat a lot of things, 2) I apologize for stuff a lot, and 3) the chapters tend to get a little shorter. Huh. Well, for this exciting chapter, it's longer because of the slight wait, I'm not going to apologize for the slight wait, and there is going to be a repeat of a few things, but that's because everyone else is doing it. This will make sense when you read the chapter. : P **

**Disclaimer: Maya-chan2007 does not own Naruto. You can tell this because although Sasuke does want to kill his brother, Hinata does not hide in closets. And Sakura does not try to kill herself repeatedly with a spork. And they're not in an asylum. Well, as far as we know, they're not…XD**

**Also, special thanks to al3n3a for adding me to your c2.**

**This brings up a new thing…**

**Question: What exactly ****is**** a c2? I know that it has something to do with a 'community', but what, exactly? Plus what is a 'community'? Thanks to anyone who can answer this for me…**

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The next day, Kakashi was last to enter the counsel room that was set up just for the purpose of counseling the large group of Level One's and Two's that he was stuck with. When Kakashi entered the room several people, including the ones from his own counseling group, shouted simultaneously, "You're late!"

_Heh heh, it's so much fun messing with their minds…_ Kakashi thought while scratching the back of his head with a semi-embarrassed look on his face.

"Well, you see, I was out shopping, when this little old lady accosted me. See, she wanted to know where the hospital was, since her granddaughter was going into labor, and-" Kakashi started, but was interrupted by the teenagers, who didn't believe him.

_Hm, and that was a particularly good excuse, too…_

Since they no longer wanted to hear his good (and plausible!) excuse, Kakashi sat down, and changed the look on his masked face from one of a carefree nature to one of intensity. The mood in the room instantly changed to match his.

"Today, we are going to talk about why we are all here," Kakashi said. There were a few people who started to protest, but they quieted down by the looks that Kakashi gave them. "But to start off, let's say some things about ourselves."

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura all gained looks of disbelief and irritation, as they knew what was coming. Sai did nothing, as he felt like doing nothing. The rest of the patients looked around, confused.

That's when Ino spoke up.

"What do you mean? Can't you give us an example, or something?"

Noticing, and secretly enjoying the sense of déjà vu, Kakashi nodded and smiled.

"Well, my name is Hatake Kakashi; I have several likes and dislikes; my hobbies are really none of your business; and my goal? I don't really feel like telling you."

At this, Naruto and Sakura face-planted into the ground, with what looked like words hovering over them saying, "We knew he was going to say that!"

Ignoring them, Kakashi gestured for the person sitting next to him, in this case, Hinata, to take their turn.

"Eh? O-oh, u-um, m-my n-name is H-Hyuuga Hinata. I-I l-like…oranges…a-and…N-Neji-nii-san…I…dislike w-whenever…I-I do s-something b-bad… I-I'm not so s-sure about my h-hobbies…t-the s-same with a g-goal…Th-that is a-allowed, right?!" Hinata said, panicking slightly, and inching her way towards the closet that Kakashi only just noticed was in the room.

"No, it's okay if you don't have a goal. Though, I suppose everyone's could be to try and get out of this place-in a safe, legal, and sane way." Kakashi reassured Hinata. _Why is there a closet in a counseling room?_

Hinata appeared to calm down a bit, but Kakashi noticed that she kept her hands clenched to the bottom of her shirt. Moving on, it was a boy with shaggy brown hair, what appeared to be two red triangles under his eyes, and holding a dog that was next.

"My name's Inuzuka Kiba! I like dogs, playing with Akamaru, playing around outside; I hate cats, fleas, most of the adults here, 'cause they keep trying to take Akamaru from me, and this place in general. I guess that means that my goal's what you said, about wanting to get out of this place? Especially since it's so creepy…" Kiba finished, unconsciously scratching Akamaru behind his ears. "Oh, and my hobbies are playing around with Akamaru!"

Kakashi nodded, showing that he had heard, and gestured for the boy sitting next to Kiba to go next. This boy had sunglasses, a high collar, and right before Kakashi had turned to talk to him, it seemed as if the boy had been talking to his finger.

"Name: Aburame Shino. Likes: Bugs, rules being followed. Dislikes: Rules being disobeyed, people forgetting other people." At this, Shino turned and gave Naruto what Kakashi could only assume was a glare. "Hobbies: Learning more about bugs, following the rules. Goals: To become 'sane' and be released from here."

"How many times do I have to tell you, dattebayo? You had just come here, sorry if the name didn't stick…" Naruto muttered to himself while trying to make himself as small and unnoticeable as he could.

Kakashi nodded thoughtfully, ignoring Naruto with everyone else, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. By now, the patients knew what to do, so Kakashi didn't need to gesture to anyone anymore.

"Troublesome. I'm Nara Shikamaru. I like Shougi, sleeping, looking at clouds, I don't like when I'm interrupted when sleeping or looking at clouds, and I don't like the adults who keep trying to get me to answer their problems for them. If they have problems, why don't they just solve them themselves? Oh, and I also hate exerting myself and troublesome women."

It seemed to Kakashi that this last part was aimed to a certain lady who was now glaring daggers at the unmotivated deer-boy.

"Hobbies are playing Go and Shougi, and my goal's to get out of here, without having to do much. That would be too troublesome if I had to jump through hoops, metaphorically, to have to get out of here."

The next one to go was a rather large boy, who seemed to have a cheery personality. This boy was also eating steadily on a bag of potato chips.

"My name's Akimichi Choji, nice to meet you!" Choji started off, smiling. "I like to eat, and I like my friends. I really don't like it when someone steals the last chip, when someone calls me fat, or when someone disrespects my friends. My hobbies would be hanging out with my friends and eating, and I suppose my goal is to get out of here."

Next was a girl who Kakashi had seen Sakura arguing with a few times before, quite passionately, too, but Kakashi had also seen the two girls hanging out together as if they were the best of friends.

"My name's Yamanaka Ino and my likes are boys, flowers, and dieting! I hate, like with a _passion,_ hate getting fat, 'cause that's just not attractive. My hobbies are trying out new dieting plans, reading teen magazines, and hanging out with friends. My goal is to lose about fifteen more pounds." Ino said as if it was the most important goal in anyone's life.

_Well, for a teenage girl, I suppose it is…_ Kakashi thought quietly to himself.

Next was Gai-wannabe. A.K.A., Lee.

"Yosh! My name is Rock Lee! My likes are to exercise and keep fit. I dislike when I am told that I will not succeed at something, because all you really need to succeed is the will, drive and motivation to succeed! My hobby is to keep as fit as possible, and my goals are to not let Gai-sensei down, and to show the beautiful Sakura-san that life is worth living, so that she does not try to take her own!" Lee stated off, after standing and saluting.

Sakura looked at Lee in a dead-panned sort of way and said, "Not a chance, creepy eyebrow boy."

Lee deflated in defeat, and Kakashi gave Sakura a look of disapproval. Sakura only shrugged. Kakashi sighed.

_I'm going to have to have a talk with that girl about a little known concept called 'tact'. Who knows, she's smart, maybe she's heard of it?_

Next was Hinata's cousin.

"My name is Hyuuga Neji. My likes are…a bit personal, so you'll forgive me if I don't mention them, but if you have to know, they involve fate and destiny. My dislikes are fate and destiny. Yes, I like them and I hate them. You need to know nothing further in that regard. My hobbies are trying to figure out what fate has in store for me, and what my destiny might be. And, I suppose, getting my cousin out of the closet, and don't you dare go there now, it's not your fault." Neji started off. What he said startled everyone, and it was only then that Kakashi and everyone else, for that matter, noticed that Hinata was across the room and had already put a hand on the handle to the closet door.

"H-how'd she get over there so fast?" Kiba asked nobody in particular.

"A-are you sure t-that i-it isn't? H-how can y-you be sure?" Hinata asked timidly, not quite believing what Neji was saying.

"Because, as I said, it's one of my hobbies. Therefore it's not that big a deal for me, so you shouldn't feel like you are at fault for anything; it is, after all, my fate to help you out." Neji said with authority.

"O-oh…Okay, N-Nii-san…" Hinata said as she walked quickly back to her seat.

_Interesting…_

"Anyway. As I was saying, my goal is to get out of this place. Unless, of course, it's my destiny to stay here forever…" Neji trailed off, with several people shuddering at the last part of what Neji had said.

The next person, a girl with her hair in two buns and wearing Chinese-style clothes, went next with, "Hi, my name's Tenten. I don't have a last name, but I'm okay with that, since I never really had a need for one in the first place. I like weapons, training with different types of weapons, and buying weapons. Oh, but don't worry, I don't use them on anyone, you know, unless I have to." Here, Tenten had a goofy grin on her face, which for some reason didn't calm many people down. Wimps. "I just like looking at them. What I dislike, well, it's something that's already happened. It was when the police busted my place; they took all of my weapons…" At this, Tenten looked really devastated, as if someone had told her that there was no such thing as Christmas, and that the Tooth fairy was a hoax that was made by the candy and decoration companies for profit. "Anyway, my hobbies are working with weapons, and training with them. And my goal is to get out of here, so that way I can get my confiscated weapons back!" Tenten had a huge smile on her face here, which, again, didn't help many people to feel better.

"…Right. Moving on, you, with the face paint." Kakashi said, gesturing for the boy with purple face paint to go next.

"…Yeah, yeah. My name's Subaku no Kankuro. I like puppets and fighting, and I don't like little brats. I don't really have any hobbies, as I never really had any free time before I got here. As for a goal, I don't know. Maybe to get out of here?" Kankuro explained in a tone of voice that showed that he clearly didn't care about what was going on at the moment.

Kankuro's sister went next, though she was fiddling around with a paper fan while she was talking, and she, too, had a look that she could care less what was happening.

"My name's Subaku no Temari. I like fans, my pet weasel that I had-by the way, I wonder what ever happened to him?-and I like the wind. I don't like losing and I don't like tomatoes."

At that, Sasuke whipped his head around, looking mortally offended. Sakura, too, looked a bit upset, but that might have been for other reasons…

"For hobbies, I guess winning counts. I also like watching old movies, sometimes. But only sometimes. For a goal, I suppose that getting out of here is good enough. I could probably get a job somewhere," Temari continued, ignoring Sasuke and his indignation completely.

Kakashi nodded in agreement, before gesturing to the boy next to Temari to continue next. This boy had red hair, dark circles around his eyes, and a tattoo that says 'love' on the left side of his forehead.

"My name is Subaku no Gaara. My likes are really none of your business, but just know that I don't have many. I suppose if I had to name one, it would be sand. My dislikes include my father, sleeping, those fools that put me here, and the fools who allowed me to be put here, along with the fools who are keeping me here. I also don't have any hobbies, as I've never needed any before. My goal is clear, however, and that is to get out of this place as quickly as I can." Gaara said unblinkingly in a slow, calm manner of voice.

Kakashi chose this time to speak once again when Gaara was finished. "Well, even though you probably know Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura, and I've already done this exercise with them, we have still yet to hear it from Sai, and not everyone here knows him, either. So, humor me." With that, Kakashi gestured for Naruto to start.

"Well, my name's Uzumaki Naruto, believe it! My likes are ramen, my friends, such as teme, and saying dattebayo so much that I don't even realize that I do it anymore, dattebayo! Oh, oh, and, and-! Making new friends, cause you can never have too many friends! And, of course, who can forget eating ramen?!?" Naruto cheered joyfully.

A few people plugged their ears at his loud voice, and some even winced. Kakashi was just starting to realize that it might have been a bad idea to start off with Naruto, but if he hadn't, then Naruto might have thrown a bigger fit. Especially if he had let Sasuke, or worse, Sai go first.

"My dislikes are teme, whenever friends leave, 'cause they actually get better, and whenever Kakashi-sensei gets all dictator-y and doesn't let me have any ramen." Here, Naruto started sulking a bit (read: a lot). But, true to form, he bounced back and had his happy face on so fast that Kakashi wasn't sure if it was a trick of the light or not.

"My hobbies include eating ramen, hanging out with teme, and my friends, talking to teme, fighting with teme, trying to win against teme, making new friends, and trying to explore the air ducts, though I don't need to explore them anymore, since I already have them all mapped out. They also have lights set up now!" Naruto cheered at this last part, as if it was the accomplishment of his life time. Considering that he had been there for literally half of his life, this may not have been an exaggeration.

…_This kid just loves it when I take away his ramen privileges, doesn't he? Why else would he deliberately break the rules, and tell me about it? He's not that stupid, how else would he have been able to accomplish his thing with the air ducts without at least some brains?_ Kakashi thought to himself as he told Naruto of his new punishment- a week without ramen. Naruto looked like he was going to shrivel up and die right then and there when Kakashi told him that.

Noticeably subdued, Naruto continued on with what his goal was. "My goal's to get out of here, so that way I can make even more friends. Mostly, though, cause I don't really remember life outside of here, so I want to know what all's going on!"

"What, and the two weeks you were gone didn't count?" Sasuke asked under his breath.

Next was the resident emo-girl/recovering boyfriend hater girl, Miss Haruno Sakura-san.

"My name's Haruno Sakura. As I said last time I had to do this, I used to have a lot of likes, but they don't matter anymore. My dislikes are when someone gets close to you, and makes you start to trust them, and then they stab you in the back. Other things that I mentioned that I dislike are rather personal, and I don't feel that comfortable telling everyone about it. Sucks for them."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at what Sakura had said, but let it slide. A few people muttered in irritation, but the general consensus was that it wasn't any of their business, so they shouldn't bother.

"My hobbies are finding new ways to try to kill myself, though, as you can see, they haven't worked yet. Yet. And my goal is to get out of here, one way or another." Sakura said her answer full of implications.

"Hopefully you choose sanity over actually killing yourself." Kakashi said, signaling for Sasuke to go next.

"Hn. My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I don't have a lot of likes, but I have plenty of dislikes, such as having to do this crap again. My hobbies include planning how best to kill Itachi, and coming up with new methods to use to actually kill Itachi. My goal is to one day kill Itachi." Sasuke said in his usual reticent manner.

"And yet I am still getting the vibe that you used to have a brother complex…" Kakashi mentioned lightly. Sasuke glared at him when he said that.

Next was Sai.

"My name is Sai. Like weapons-girl, I don't have a last name. As I was trained to not have any emotions, I don't really have any likes or dislikes, as they are ruled by emotions. If I have to have something, then I suppose that drawing would be a 'like'. As for dislikes, that, too, is a betrayal of emotions, and I have no need for such a thing. Hobbies are also a symptom of being controlled by one's emotions, but if you are really interested, then I suppose that drawing would be a hobby. As for a goal, my goal is to serve my country as best as I can, as that is my only purpose," Sai concluded with his fake smile on his face. Various people around the room sweat-dropped when Sai was going over his summary about himself, though a few people looked like Sai had picked a fight with them for some reason…

"Well, that's about all the time that we have for today. I pretty much know what to do with all of you for now and what sort of things are wrong with you; this also means that I know how to go about fixing you, for the most part," Kakashi told the room with a smile and his one visible eye closed.

"What, from what we just told you?" Temari asked skeptically.

"No, it's possible. It's just too troublesome to mention," Shikamaru said lazily from where he was slouching in his chair.

"Well, I'm going to let you contemplate over what has been said in here; who knows, maybe you'll find out what Shikamaru and I mean," Kakashi said while standing up and heading for the door.

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**Well, bad news is it stops there. That, and nothing really happens DX. Good news is that I know what I'm going to do now! Yay! So, if you're happy about this, let me know it by reviewing! It's not that hard, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! ^_^**


	13. Finding out what's wrong

**It's been a while, hasn't it? I realized recently that my update habits are pretty much just once a month. Sucks, huh? It kind of says something about my commitment to this, but really I've been busy lately, what with getting ready for college, etc. I hope you like this chapter anyways; I personally don't really care for it.**

**Disclaimer: Maya-chan2007's in a little bit of a bad mood, so she's not even going to pretend that she ever wanted Naruto in the first place. If she had owned it, it probably wouldn't have even touched the Sasuke Retrieval Ark, before Shippuuden. Meh.**

**Rating: I don't know, maybe Teen for the whole story, but for this chapter, it should be good.**

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With a plan in mind, Kakashi set off for his third session with not only his group of patients but also that of Kurenai, Asuma, Gai, and the newest counselor Baki. Kakashi had listened carefully to what each patient had had to say, and after reading in between the lines on a few of the cases, found a reason why each might be there. Most were obvious, though there were a few that were a little tougher.

Kakashi hoped fervently that he might have a way to help them, at least to an extent. Although he was all that and a side of onion rings, there was only so much that he-or any other sentient, human being-could do.

When he opened the door, Kakashi noticed something peculiar right away. For one thing, Naruto was sitting in his seat quietly, with a dazed look on his face. The others also had looks about them that made them seem calmer than they usually were.

"Hm? What's this? Usually you would shout that I'm late, I would give you a half-assed-but totally plausible! - excuse, and then you would shout that I'm a liar. Not that I'm missing that, but it's rather weird that you would give me this lackluster response. Frankly, I live off of the attention," Kakashi said, trying to joke his way into a response.

Instead, he received various forms of the phrase, "It's too troublesome."

"I can believe it-" here Kakashi checked quickly for a response from Naruto, but received none, "-coming from Shikamaru, but for the rest of you, particularly you Lee, Naruto, and Kiba, this is disturbing me, on so many levels."

"Well, what's the point? You're going to come in late, and then we're going to have to listen you your excuses. So, why not skip that part?" Ino reasoned.

_As I've said…disturbing. Moving on…_

"Well…at any rate…" Kakashi started, trying to shake off the heebie-jeebies that he was getting, but without anyone knowing, "I'm pretty sure I know what's wrong with all of you."

This announcement had an effect, as quite a few people perked up when they heard this, but they still had looks of apathy on their faces. Mostly it was the ones who pretty much definitely already knew what it was they were in for, but for the others where it was not so clear, they had a noticeable glimmer in their eyes, though this was the only source that they had even responded to the announcement.

"Don't we already know that, though?" Shino asked quietly from his personal little corner…that's in the circle of chairs where they're sitting.

"Well, we know a little about why you're here in general," Kakashi started to explain, before getting interrupted by Temari.

"Yeah, 'cause we're all crazy," Temari said, sounding as if this should be obvious.

"-But as to a specific reason, I'm pretty sure I might know," Kakashi continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. Temari seemed slightly put out by that. "However, despite what society, as far as I can tell, seems to think, there isn't anything majorly wrong with you.

"For instance Temari here doesn't like to be ignored and tries to seek attention any way she can, such as by insulting others," Kakashi said, gesturing to Temari.

As soon as she heard her name, Temari's eyes widened, before settling into the scowl that she now had on her face. Temari had also turned her head to the side, and there was a splash of red on her face, as well.

Everyone had turned towards Temari when they heard the example, and a few people were nodding their heads, as if it all made sense now. One or two even papped their hands together in the Japanese hand sign of oh, yeah; why didn't I think of that? They stopped once they saw said embarrassed woman glare daggers of death at them, though Tenten seemed to be immune. Probably because they were 'daggers'.

"Don't think that the rest of you are exempt from this; I know about the rest of you, too," Kakashi said to the rest of the patients, thus earning a few worried looks.

"For instance, Kankuro; because you were forced to grow up quickly, you hate anything that could be seen as childish, including children themselves, though you can't quite forget what it was like being one yourself, so you play with puppets.

"Gaara; you are so scarred by people, particularly your father, rejecting you that to avoid similar experiences in the future, you block everyone else out. However, this scarring is deeply psychological, and thus you have trouble sleeping because you don't trust the people around you, thus giving you amnesia.

"Shikamaru's easy; you're just un-motivated, possibly because you are so smart that people start expecting un-realistic or extremely high expectations from you, so to avoid that you start claiming everything as 'troublesome' so that you don't have to do anything.

"Choji, you eat a lot. That's about it. To some people, it may seem excessive, but it seems that you know how much it is that you need to eat, possibly because of a high metabolism rate, so you gorge as much as you can to meet this rate.

"Ino; you are obsessed with trying to make yourself feel 'beautiful'. Maybe someone called you 'ugly' before, or 'fat' so to try to make yourself 'beautiful' and 'skinny' you start starving yourself, or eat a lot at once only to throw it up later. Basically, you have teenage girl syndrome, but to the extreme. I don't know where it says that guys like skinny girls, but I can tell you this; nobody likes skeleton girls, and before you go to try and fix this, you should probably start a weight-gain program, because if you keep starving yourself—you'll die!

"Hinata; you have a guilt complex. You saw yourself, your sister and your cousin getting abused and started to blame yourself for it. However, what you need to understand is that no matter what your father told you, it couldn't have possibly have been your fault. Most likely, your father was telling you this so that he could have control over you. Not everything is your fault.

"Kiba; you have a very close relationship with your dog, Akamaru. You probably didn't have many friends, so to make sure you weren't alone all the time, you started spending more and more time with Akamaru, and less and less time with other humans. That's probably why you were admitted here as either thinking of yourself as a dog or of thinking Akamaru's a human.

"Shino; pretty much the same as with Kiba, but instead you probably didn't have as many human friends, if at all. That, and your fascination with bugs probably didn't help your case any when you were sent here.

"Tenten; I'm not positive but I think your problem is that since you were raised in the streets, so to speak, so you became very cautious with protecting yourself in any way that you could, thus becoming enamored with the weapons that you collected. These weapons started out as merely something to protect yourself with, but steadily became ones that you were fascinated with, much like Shino and his bugs, and Kiba with Akamaru.

"Neji; since you keep Hinata from meltdowns all the time, you've come to think of yourself as better than others, which both helps you convince Hinata to not go into meltdown mode and also gives you your superiority complex.

"Lee; your problem is that you basically worship Gai. Come on, is he really worth it?" Kakashi asked Lee, only to receive sputters that sounded like 'youth', 'Gai-sensei is the best', and 'stupid scarecrow doesn't know what he's talking about'. Kakashi chuckled at this last part before continuing. He also noted that quite a few people seemed to be more like themselves again. "But at any rate, you're here because your mother sent you here. Lee, you aren't possessed. You're pretty much just very hyperactive and full of energy, and you've decided to get rid of the energy through exercise, which is very admirable.

"Now, for my own kids. Naruto; pretty much you just beg for attention, probably caused by when you were ignored and hated when you were younger, and spending half of your life here hasn't helped, especially with patients getting better and leaving. To overcome some of this, you stoop to pulling pranks on others, and by exploring in the air ducts-"

"Huh? I would explore where? ... Oh, yeah! I…think I remember that! Yeah! And it was totally awesome, dattebayo, cause I installed lights, and a few maps here and there, on the off chance of getting lost, and, and-!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly, though acting as if he had just remembered something important.

…_I'm not sure what just happened, but I think that Naruto's back to the way that he was before._ Kakashi thought, his one visible eye crinkling in happiness at this little fact.

"Sakura; you've been scarred by your past relationship, so you've come to think of yourself as worthless, weak, and a nuisance. Most likely, when you confronted the cheerleader, she said something along these lines to you, or your ex-boyfriend did. You took these words to heart, and now are trying to kill yourself.

"Sasuke; where do I start?" Kakashi said, sighing just at the thought of having to explain everything. "First off you hardly remember exactly what happened when your family died, and you blame your brother for saving both himself and you, instead of helping the others, who you probably heard being killed. You channel this anger into ways to kill your brother, in the hopes of 'avenging' your fallen family, even though he's not the one who killed them."

"That's because he _did_ kill them; you think I wouldn't recognize my own brother?" Sasuke snarled.

_Well, this one's a tough case, _Kakashi thought. _I'll have to come back to him later._

"And last but not least, Sai. Your problem's pretty simple; you don't have any emotions because you were raised without them. All we have to do is help you remember what emotions you had before you were taken in by ROOT," Kakashi said.

By now, everyone was pretty much back to their normal selves. Kakashi still didn't know what it was that made them act…not as themselves, but whatever it was, it seemed to be out of their systems now. The only trace that something had happened to them was that every now and then, one of the kids would suddenly shake their head, as if trying to drive away a bad thought.

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Up in the office of the asylum, one of the lead researchers and doctors was talking to the boss of the sanitarium, Orochimaru. Orochimaru had long black hair that was stringy around his body, particularly his face. He also had yellow eyes that seemed to take on a snake-like quality.

"Orochimaru-sama, I gave the medication to the patients as you have requested," said a man with long silver hair in a ponytail. This man also had glasses that were glinted over at the moment, so no one could see his eyes. "However, there have been some…complications."

"Complications, you say Kabuto?" Orochimaru asked in a silky voice that promised trouble if it displeased its owner.

"Yes. One of the new counselors, Hatake Kakashi, was in a group therapy session with the patients, and has seemed to have rendered the medication useless, by merely talking to them," Kabuto reported, careful not to leave anything out. You never wanted to leave anything important out, only to have it come back and bite you later, Kabuto had seen this first hand, and never wanted it to happen to him. "It is my opinion that we should keep a closer eye on not only him but also the patients, and perhaps even their own respective counselors; they seem to have made remarkable progress on their own, and should therefore bear more study and looking into."

Orochimaru was silent for a moment, taking in everything that he heard, before making a plan of action.

"And you are sure that this is everything, Kabuto?" Orochimaru asked in a soft, dangerous voice.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said in a steady voice, though inside he was shaking in fear. It wouldn't do to displease this man, it never did. Luckily for Kabuto, he was usually in Orochimaru's good graces, and was even promoted to the head of research and development of new medications to use on the patients, and was made chief of the doctors on staff.

"I see. Continue with the medications, and if this Hatake Kakashi or any of the other counselors interfere, you know what to do," Orochimaru said, dismissing any more talk.

Kabuto bowed quickly, before leaving the office to head towards his labs. He had some new ideas that he wanted to try out…

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**Yeah, I know this was vaguely short, and that it has been a while since I updated. But, like I said, I've been busy lately, what with getting my wisdom teeth out last Monday,getting blood drawn for some tests day before yesterday, helping out around the house/farm/garden, whichever you prefer, getting ready for college and, of course, distractions. Especially lately, I've been watching old episodes of **_**X-Men: Evolution**_** (don't own). Yeah, I know, dorky, but so what? Anyways, with stuff going on, I probably won't be able to update that quickly. That is, with the way I've been updating, it might be the same, so please don't ask me to 'update soon'. Also, I've noticed that my writing style lately is blech, to say the least. Before, I would write it down first in a notebook, and then transfer it to the computer. But now that I have my laptop, I've been skipping the writing it down first thing. Near the end of this chapter, it's kind of good, but whatever. Anyways, please review, despite my lack of good news.**


	14. Plan of action

**Okay, after a while, here's the next chapter! Yay. Also, there's actual plot in this chapter! Yay! Oh, and on a side note, I have a rant down at the bottom that you don't actually have to read. It's just there to make me feel better that I was able to vent.**

**Rating: T for teen because of language (at the bottom).**

**Disclaimer: Maya-chan2007 owns Naruto about as much as what her so called friend wrote about her in her book is true. So, I'll never ever own it. That's about a summary of the rant. Please enjoy the chapter! ^_^**

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Kakashi didn't have to work with the rest of the group any more, as the other counselors came back the next day; something about Gai accidentally booking their trip for a shorter time than they had originally planned, though Gai vehemently denied that this was the case.

Instead, what he said happened is that he was duped at the bus stop, and had his money stolen, so they should be glad with the youthful, if somewhat short, accommodations that he was able to make. Baki hit him over the head when he said that, saying that he had enough problems on his hands.

And no, those problems didn't include his patients; Kakashi asked.

Instead, with all this 'free' time that he had now, Kakashi made sure to spend extra quality time with his own patients.

Things were steadily improving for them, Kakashi was glad to see.

Sakura stopped making dramatic scenes in the cafeteria depicting famous death scenes substituting a spork for the given murder/death weapon of choice.

Sasuke was making more sociable interactions with others, including offering to help others with things, though this was limited to only the others in his counseling group; still, baby steps.

Naruto was starting to take an interest in one of the other patients, so he was spending less and less time exploring the air ducts like he had been before.

And Sai…well, he was interacting more with others, giving them nicknames and in Ino's case even making paintings of others; the nicknames were generally met with hostility, but Sai learned and now calls Ino Beautiful. Coincidentally, she is the only one that he was able to call by a generally accepted nickname ever since Sai figured out what to call people by.

The only downside to all of the good things that had been happening lately was that every now and then, his kids would come in like they had on that one day when he was counseling everyone together. Kakashi just could not get that 'stoned-deer-in-the-headlights-look' that he would sometimes see on their faces whenever this would happen.

It was also around this time when Kakashi was given leave to take a week off. Normally, this would be a good thing, since it would mean that he wouldn't have to work that week, and he would still get paid as if he would.

However, this seemed a little to fixed for Kakashi's liking, especially since this happened somewhat directly after Kakashi started talking to others about his students' strange behavior, particularly when Kakashi finally broke down and began to ask the Akatsuki about this. There wasn't much that Kakashi could actually do about it, though, since his 'vacation' was starting to become more and more mandatory the more he declined. This only increased his suspicions, though what those were, Kakashi didn't know.

Maybe it had something to do with how nobody seemed to like Kabuto, the head doctor at the clinic, particularly the Level Three's. The Level Three's in particular seemed to be positively terrified of the white haired doctor. Whenever it was time for the medication to be passed out, the Level Three's would run away as if their very lives were on the line.

Also, whenever Kakashi actually brought up the medication, or even the 'stoned-deer-in-the-headlights-look' that the patients were liable to have at any given time recently, he would only be met with answers that ranged from 'huh?' to 'what the hell are you talking about, man?'

Finally, when things started to go nowhere quick with questioning the patients, Kakashi decided to enlist the help of the other counselors and Anko.

"So what you're saying is that all this time, you've had this suspicion that something bad, possibly illegal, and you're only bothering to tell us this now?" Anko asked, with one hand on her hip that she had cocked out to the side.

"…When you say it like that, Anko, it makes it sound like we should have known about this ahead of time," Kurenai said, motioning for Anko to sit down again before looking down into the cup of coffee that she held securely in her hands. "And we should have, too. What have we been doing all this time?"

"Caring for the patients, like how you were supposed to. The only reason why I was able to make my suspicions was because my father was on the military force for most of my life, and would teach me things that he learned," Kakashi replied.

"I just can't believe that they are doing such things to my adorable Lee! And Neji and Tenten, too!" Gai protested loudly, only to be shushed by the others. Luckily for them, though, they were discussing things over coffee at a local coffee shop; there was a less likely chance that they would be overheard by people they didn't want to overhear their talks, such as Kabuto and the mysterious reclusive owner, Orochimaru.

Kakashi didn't really know that much about him, having never actually met Orochimaru in person. The most he had ever come to actually meeting him or talking to him was when he received his acceptance for his job after Gai had sent in his application. All Kakashi knew about his boss was that only a few people-Kabuto, Tsunade and Anko-were ever actually allowed to see him, and all Anko would say of him was that he was a snake. Whatever that meant, though he hoped that she didn't mean it literally; having an actual snake for a boss would be rather humiliating.

Asuma seemed to be contemplating something and when asked he only said, "I was just wondering if it was only Kakashi who knew about this."

"What do you mean, Asuma?" Kurenai asked.

"Well, it's just that something Shikamaru told me once has been going through my mind ever since I found out that something-whatever it is-is happening there at the asylum," Asuma started rapidly, seeming to have something very important to say, and wanting to get it out. "Now, you all know that Shikamaru's a bright boy, just a little much too lazy for anyone to take seriously sometimes. Well, one day when we were playing Shougi-"

"You mean when you were supposed to be counseling them?" Anko asked sarcastically; apparently she was still upset that something had been going on in the asylum without her knowing it.

"-and in passing conversation he told me that something 'troublesome' was happening there. At the time I thought that it was just something that the patients say sometimes, like really we're just using them as experiments, or we're abusing them in some way and I told him something along the lines of, 'yeah, I'll be sure to keep a look out for that,' and he sort of sighed, muttered 'troublesome' under his breath, and continued our game by beating me. Again. Anyways, I guess what I'm saying is that now that I think about it, he might have known," Asuma finished up before taking a drag on his cigarette.

Silence overcame the group of adults as they contemplated what Asuma said about the genius kid, before Baki-the only one who hadn't said something yet-spoke up. "The kid's not the only one who knew." At this, every head spun to look at the newest counselor.

"What do you mean he's not? Did one of your kids say something?" Anko asked sharply.

"No, what I mean is that I knew. That's why I'm working there, actually," Baki said, looking uncomfortable under the stares that he was receiving.

"I think you better explain yourself, Baki," Kakashi said calmly, though with undertones of slight anger.

Sighing, Baki leant in to explain; the others instinctively leant in, too. "I'm actually part of the Secret Remote Squads of both Konoha and Suna. I was sent here after we received information secretly from one of the patients at the asylum. We don't know who it was that sent the tip, but I think I've narrowed it down to one of the Level Threes. At any rate, the information that we received said something along the lines of how the administration was secretly doing medical experiments on certain patients, and then using that data to either sell to the medical community, and thus pay for expenses, or selling it to certain terrorist groups to use as chemical warfare-or, something along those lines. I was sent in to figure out if any of this was true, and if so, figure out who was doing it and then send this information on to my superiors for them to stop it."

"So…this is true. And we know what's going on, now," Anko said softly to herself, looking at the table in front of her in a dazed manner.

"How can we help you in this endeavor to thwart this most evil plot against our patients?" Gai asked with fire burning in his eyes.

"Well, you can keep your eyes open for now. Also, Kakashi, you seem to be on good terms with some of the Level Threes. Could you see if they know anything about who sent the tip?" Kakashi nodded here. "Good, and if you do find out who sent the tip, find out how they know this, and how they were able to get the message to who it needed to go to; the asylum's built like a fortress, it's supposed to be virtually impossible to get word out to the outside world, so the fact that whoever sent the tip did is a feat in itself," Baki explained.

"Wait, before you said that this was a joint operation with both Konoha and Suna; why is it that Suna's involved?" Kurenai asked, having just remembered that little bit.

"Well, I'm originally from Suna, but why they're involved is because the former Kazekage's children are going to the asylum; in fact, they're my group. Suna is preparing for Gaara to become the new Kazekage when he gets better, and for obvious reasons, they're against what's allegedly been happening at the asylum," Baki said, gesturing slightly with his hands.

After a few more minutes in which everyone was given particular jobs to do, such as Anko making sure that the rest of the administrative staff didn't know what was happening, the group of adults broke up their meeting and went their separate ways, each with the same thought in mind.

_I'm going to get these bastards if it's the last thing I do…_

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**Okay, so I'm finally getting the ball rolling plot-wise on this thing! Finally, huh? It just occurred to me when I sat down to type this that I really needed to start on them figuring out what's going on, don't I? So far I've just been drawing things out, but hopefully this chapter makes up for it! In other news, I'm moving up to my college this Friday! And my classes start about a week later. That means that I'm not going to be able to update very quickly, though thinking about it logically, maybe, it might still be with the speed (or lack thereof) that I've been updating before. Oh, well, the point is is that I'm not going to forget this, but it may still be a while. But please review!**

**And now, for anybody who cares, here's my rant! You don't have to read it, I'm not putting it here for sympathy or any of that crap but to have somewhere to vent.**

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_Okay, so my so-called friend wrote a book. Yeah, good for her and all that, but she wrote about me and a few other people in it. I already knew that, 'cause she had told me and our other friends about it, but when I read an excerpt from it when it was finally published, well, I'm just glad she decided to change our names in it. She put me as some atheist-have-no-religion-but-still-thinks-I'm-better-than-everyone-else-and-that-everyone-else's-religion-is-crap type of person. She also had me dissing not only her, but apparently I also go on about how religion is just so stupid, and how I'm apparently a hypocrite because while I'm intolerant to other's religious choices, I also apparently used to go on and on for hours about how the Egyptian Gods and Goddesses were the best in middle school. Bull. Shit. What with the whole religion-thing, you can so tell that we're from the country, can't you? Now, I'll admit that I did get into a fight with her, but not because I was dissing her about her religious choices, in that she chose to have one. No, what we really got into a fight about is that she doesn't really get along with a lot of people, including one of my other friends, who was in the lunch line, and she (the 'friend' who wrote the book) was talking about ways to make her sit somewhere else, when I told her that anyone had the right to sit there, since it was a free country, and she didn't have any right to decide who sat where, since she never ate with us regularly, and only after the school year had been in session for a while. But that's not what gets me. What gets me is that after all we'd been through, being friends since elementary school, when __she__ changed in middle school, and keeping all these secrets from people, and then she has the nerve to write a book about poor little her, with apparently nobody who wants to be her friend, and who people think she's just so messed up, when she's the one who cuts herself and other things, and then she says the unbelievable things about the people who __were__ her friends. She is just so self-centered that she can't see it. At any rate, there's my rant. If you actually decided to read this, sorry for wasting your valuable time, but thanks anyway for reading this._

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	15. Interrogation, sort of

**Well. I'm a bitch. It's been how many months since I've updated? During that time, I've been involved with different manga, I've had college work to do, and now finals are coming up! Yay me! *sarcastic***

**Anyways, I've tried to make this chapter longer than usual to make up for it; hopefully it does! ^_^;**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto; pretty much the only things I can lay claim to in here are the butterflies. You'll understand later…**

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Kakashi exited the elevator into the hallway that was the opening expanse of Level Three. With a firm idea in mind of who to ask first, he headed towards the game room where most Level Three's spent their time; when they were up to it, that is.

Walking in the room, Kakashi immediately spotted who it was he was looking for; members of Akatsuki, in particular Itachi, Deidara, and Kakuzu. If anyone knew how to pass through secret information to the outside world, it would be these three; Deidara, because of his expertise with International issues and Code, having most likely broken several in the time it took him to come to the asylum; Kakuzu, because he knew every law there ever was, in an attempt to get more money, and because he seemed like the type who could get into different places (or out) without being caught; and Itachi, mostly because he was Sasuke's brother, so he must know of secret ways in and out, and because it seemed like something that Itachi might be up to.

Coming over to where the three men sat on the couch directly in front of the plasma TV- that seemed to be claimed by the Akatsuki- Kakashi overheard a conversation that they had been having before they noticed that he was there.

"-all I'm saying, Deidara, is that you shouldn't let what Sasori says get to you. You know he hates people in general, we all do, so you shouldn't take it personally," Itachi said in a tired voice, having sounded like he had given this same argument before.

"Yeah, that's easy for you to say, jerk; you get along with Kisame, and he's your partner, isn't he? I mean, is it just me, un, or are the only people who don't get along with their partners me and Kakuzu here? You heard Leader-sama, we have to get along, or something like that," Deidara said angrily, though whether it was because he was talking to Itachi or because of his problem Kakashi didn't know.

"Yeah, well who would want to get along with Hidan? The man is always praying to his fake god, is either trying to convert me to his fake god or is cursing me into oblivion. Why Leader-sama paired him with me is beyond my comprehension, but he is a 'god', so who knows how he thinks?" Kakuzu said, not looking up from where he was counting his money. "In reality, no one needs a religion-all anyone needs in this world is cold hard cash, that's the only thing that matters in this world."

"So, you think that Pein is a god, too, then?" Kakashi asked from behind. Itachi and Kakuzu calmly sat where they were, having known that he had been there for a bit, but Deidara flinched at hearing a voice suddenly intrude on their private conversation.

"Doesn't matter, as long as we work for him," Kakuzu said, having never once lost count. From what Kakashi could hear of his mutterings, he was on coin number 198,273. Yes, Kakuzu _was_ that rich. How exactly he got all that money, Kakashi didn't really want to know, but he had a suspicion that it had to do with re-selling people their stuff back, like he had done with Kakashi's watch.

"…Do I want to know what you're doing by working for him?" Kakashi asked Itachi.

"Probably not; however, you could tell us what it is you're doing up here. You don't have to work on handing out our medication until tomorrow," Itachi said, fixing his gaze on Kakashi.

"Well, it has to do with something someone told me, about some…shall we say, unorthodox ways that the asylum is performing on its patients," Kakashi explained cryptically, knowing that any other passing Level Three would take it as something one of the voices told them, and if these three knew anything at all, then they would understand.

It seemed that they did understand, as all three abruptly gave Kakashi their undivided attention.

"Oh? And where does this information come from, exactly?" Itachi asked, his voice betraying nothing.

"Well, I can't really tell you that, if you don't know anything," Kakashi hedged, enjoying his repartee with the young Uchiha.

"Maybe we do, we just don't know if you know to the full extent," Deidara said just as cryptically, his eyebrow rising slightly, challenging him with his next move.

"Maybe I do know, but not enough, therefore I would like to be told, but I keep getting sidetracked by our enjoyable conversation," Kakashi replied back, smirking a bit underneath his mask.

"Or maybe, we'll tell you but you have to actually tell us what you know first so that way we can tell you what you want," Itachi responded, also with a smirk on his face.

"How about you both just say what you want to say, and then everything can be explained in a not so confusing way and then I can go back to counting my money!" Kakuzu said angrily, halting any response that Kakashi was going to say.

"Aw, Kakuzu you're no fun!" Deidara complained. "You're starting to sound as confrontational as Hidan, un."

Quicker than Kakashi could see, Kakuzu's arm seemed to stretch and his hand went around Deidara's neck in a secure hold. Itachi didn't make any movement that it had startled him; seemingly, he knew this would happen and was prepared, or it had happened enough that he wasn't bothered by it at all.

"Don't ever compare me to him!" Kakuzu said angrily.

"You know, you really shouldn't do that in front of a councilor," Kakashi said dryly, his distaste for the action made clear in his voice. "I would hate to have to take any disciplinary actions against you."

"And I would hate for anything to happen to you on your way back to the 'real world'," a voice came from behind Kakashi. Turning his head slightly, Kakashi noticed that Pein had arrived, with Konan at his side and the rest of Akatsuki occupying random places in the room. With a displeased look, Pein continued with his speech. "Is there some reason why you are threatening my subordinates? Or better yet, why you are here on your off day of medicine distribution?"

"…Are you not upset that one of your 'subordinates', as you call them, is attempting to kill a comrade?" Kakashi asked back, avoiding the question for a bit; there was the matter of doing his job, after all.

"If the brat is stupid enough to provoke Kakuzu and get himself killed, then it's his own fault," Sasori said in a bored voice. "Though I wouldn't be surprised; he does seem the type to kill himself accidentally."

"Sh-shut up, Sasori-no-danna!" Deidara gasped though the choke hold that he was currently in, "it's his fault, getting so upset when I compared him to Hidan!" Unfortunately, this seemed to get not only Kakuzu re-angry at him but also enraged the Jashinist as well.

"How dare you, heathen, compare me to a bastard like that?!" Hidan shouted, pointing in the general direction of where Kakuzu was standing, re-choking Deidara.

"And now you're calling me 'that'?" Kakuzu asked in an angry voice, turning on Hidan.

Before anyone else could say anything, Tobi popped up out of nowhere (seriously, Kakashi was looking right where Tobi was before, and then –Pop!-, there he was; mighty suspicious…) with his cheerfulness and asked, "Can't we all just get along?"

A resounding No! was heard from all parties involved. Tobi slumped in depression, before noticing something.

"Hey! Stop choking Deidara-sempai!" Tobi shouted, before launching himself towards Kakuzu—only to think he saw another butterfly and falling on his face.

"_Smooth, Tobi._ Hey, be nice; you know he gets distracted easily…" Zetsu said…to himself… before going to try and help Tobi up off the floor only to be stopped by…himself… "_Let him pick himself up, he's not going to learn anything if you keep coddling him._"

Konan, however, was already helping Tobi up, and with a quiet, calm, matronly voice asked, "You saw a butterfly? That's nice Tobi. What color was it, do you know? I like blue ones myself…"

Kakashi did a double take, though it went by unnoticed by everyone. _That's the first time I've heard her speak…_

"You still haven't answered my question, Medicine Man Ka-kashe-sensei," Pein asked, calling Kakashi by his many nicknames for what Kakashi could only guess as a way to distract him from what Konan was saying to Tobi, perhaps in an effort to spare her the condemnation that he obviously associated with every government worker. "Perhaps we can take this…outside?" Pein asked in a way that left no room for argument.

Kisame, coming up behind Kakashi in a way that very much resembled that of a bodyguard or a bouncer at a fancy, high-end club that catered to drug-clientele on the side, started to direct Kakashi to the door. "Yeah, why don't we get some…fresh air…?" Kisame said with multiple innuendoes laced in that single sentence.

"Should I be scared by your mafia impersonations? Because quite frankly, if we weren't in an asylum, with me as your 'medicine man' who can say whether you get your doses of medicine or not, you would be very terrifying to me right now." Kakashi said in a lighthearted voice, though he clearly took note of the reactions that he received when he mentioned the medicine, though the Akatsuki clearly tried to cover up their reactions. "Okay, no more jokes about that; I will admit, it's not a very tasteful joke."

"_I bet he's tasteful, though…"_ Zetsu muttered to himself.

Kakashi pretended that he didn't hear that last part.

* * *

Once outside in the Level Threes-only courtyard, Kakashi was promptly surrounded by the Akatsuki, with his back to the wall—literally. Instead of showing the slightest hint of being intimidated-which he wasn't-Kakashi pulled out his infamous Make-Out Paradise novel and began reading.

Needless to say, this did not bode very well.

"Well? What is it that you supposedly know, but you're not sure if we know, but you can almost guarantee that we know, we're just not sure if you know, un?" Deidara asked grumpily.

"Deidara-sempai~! Don't you know that we have to make sure the butterflies aren't listening in on us first?" Tobi asked in a patronizing voice that was ruined in effect by the silly mask that he always wore and his failed attempt at making a 'stern pose'. Deidara countered by handing Tobi something, which Sasori immediately threw over the wall; shortly following was a small explosion, and Itachi saying "You didn't see that just now," to Kakashi.

"…I might forget what I saw, if what I gain in exchange is good enough," Kakashi replied cryptically, both fully serious about what he needed to learn and thoroughly enjoying himself in the process.

"That depends—what do you want?" Kakuzu asked, unconsciously fingering his money pouch, as if telling everyone that he wasn't about to give it up.

"Information about something…uncouth happening here at the asylum," Kakashi answered seriously, not breaking eye contact to show the others how serious about the matter he was.

Pein regarded Kakashi for a moment, before giving the order for Tobi, Zetsu, and Konan to 'search the area for butterflies, and report back when they were done.' Kakashi started getting a bad feeling about choosing to ask Level Threes, let alone the Akatsuki-the leaders of the Level Threes-about something as sensitive as this was.

"You know, maybe I should go back; I'm sure my kids are missing me…" Kakashi said while starting to make his way back to the facility, only to be stopped by Hidan and Kisame standing in his path.

"What's the rush? I thought you wanted to…learn some information," Hidan asked in what Kakashi could only describe as a mafia-wannabe voice.

"Yes, but maybe I'll have a better chance elsewhere," Kakashi replied, before quickly adding "I wouldn't want to trouble you with something like this."

"You won't find a better source of whatever it is that you want to know other than right here," Sasori drawled in his usual manner.

"Pein," Konan said in her soft voice, quickly drawing the 'God's' attention. "We haven't found any butterflies; they seem to be keeping inside today…"

"Hmm, good, good," Pein replied. He then looked towards Kakashi and answered his questioning look. "The 'butterflies' that you have been hearing us talk about are actually cameras and microphones that are used to spy on us Level Threes."

Kakashi was at first thinking that it was just more rambling by the insane, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense; if the administration was using illegal methods of drug research and testing on the Level Threes, doesn't it also make sense that they would also need to make sure that the 'treatments' were working? And the fact that they were butterflies would work well too, because if they were ever seen by a Level Three, it would just be written off as 'another episode' by someone who was 'clearly insane'.

"I see by the look in your eyes that you believe me," Pein said, interrupting Kakashi's musings. "The fact that you believed me so quickly means that you must know something else; is that why you wished to speak to us?"

"As a matter of fact, yes," Kakashi said, clearing his thoughts. "I have been noticing lately that whenever it seems that I make…I'm not sure if you can call it a 'breakthrough' or not, with my kids, and even some of the other patients who are friends with them, they come back the next day as if they were zombies or something. They seem to be eerily calm, they don't respond to what I say to them, and they have a glazed look in their eyes. When I reported this to some friends of mine, who also work here, they said that they hadn't really noticed, but then again I am somewhat new at working here, so that may have just been that I'm seeing them with clearer eyes."

Itachi seemed to tense a bit, along with a few others, though Kakashi wasn't sure if it was because of something he said, or if it might have been because of something that they knew but he didn't. The only ones who remained stoic throughout were Pein, Konan, and half of Zetsu.

"And what did your group of friends come up with?" Pein asked.

"Well, one came out that he was actually working for the government," at that, everyone but Pein gained a shock expression on his or her face, "and that they had received a letter talking about what was actually going on here, though they had no idea who it could have been who sent the letter. I take it from your pleased expressions that it was actually you who sent the letter?" Kakashi finished.

"Why yes, yes it was, un," Deidara said with a smug expression on his face.

"…May I ask _how_ is it that you were able to send a letter, stating such sensitive information on it, to not only the outside world, but also to the _World Government_?" Kakashi asked, stressing key points.

"Whoa, you were able to take it to the World Government? I thought you were only going to give it to the Konohan Military Government?" Kisame asked, impressed, to both Tobi and Zetsu.

"Well, we thought, 'now that we're out, why not take it all the way?'" Tobi said happily, feeding off the praise.

"…And how is it that you were able to get the letter out again?" Kakashi asked, starting to get impatient over when he would get a straight answer.

"Tobi and I know special…ways out, I guess you could say; _and no, we're not telling you what those ways are_," Zetsu replied, leaving no room for discussion. Kakashi could tell that that was a lost cause, so he settled for something else.

"So, now that we know what's going on, what are we going to do about this?"

* * *

"…and that's what I was able to learn," Kakashi told to the other counselors at their favorite meeting place, the somewhat crowded coffee house; it was the perfect spot, as it wasn't crowded enough that they couldn't hear each other, but just crowded enough that no one would be able to overhear them.

"Hmm," Anko murmured, deep in thought.

"So, wait—now we have to be on the lookout for _butterflies_?" Kurenai asked incredulously.

"I've always wondered why it seemed that the majority of the Level Three's would see butterflies, when they all have different mental disorders," Asuma said, leaning back in his chair and smoking. "Now it makes sense."

"I'm just amazed that two Level Threes can make it out of the asylum without anyone knowing," Baki said, leaning against the table. "Though that they were also able to get the World Government's attention on this is also amazing."

"Well, I am not amazed," Gai proclaimed. "If you are full with the spirit of youth, you can do anything!"

"Or have enough money to make others do anything," Kakashi put in, bringing Gai back down.

"Alright, here's what we're going to do," Anko said authoritatively, getting everyone's attention. "We're going to go along with what the Akatsuki…suggested." Everyone could tell that she didn't like having to take orders from the Level Threes, and they agreed with her to an extent, but desperate times called for desperate measures. "We are going to try our hardest to make sure that our kids get better, and then we're sending them off. In the meantime, we should also make sure that we can try to stop anything suspicious that we see going on—but don't make it obvious. We don't know what that snake bastard might do next, if he finds out that we know; be on your guards, everyone."

With that, everyone finished their coffees and went back to the asylum, ready for whatever awaited them.

* * *

"Sir, I have a report to make over the ones that we have under observation," Kabuto said, in a reverent tone, to his boss, the one and only Orochimaru.

"And?"

"They have been meeting regularly at a local coffee shop before their shifts, though attempts to catch what they are saying have failed," Kabuto said regretfully, upset that he was unable to bring his boss better news.

"I see. In that case, to be on the safe side, start transferring their kids to Level Three; immediately." Orochimaru said in his cold, unfeeling voice.

"But-but sir, if we transfer that many over to Level Three at once, it will be suspicious!" Kabuto protested, not wanting anything bad to happen to his boss.

"That's true; I've already been getting calls from the World Government over the state of our facilities. It turns out, the future Kazekage is our guest, and coincidentally one of the patient's that is under supervision," Orochimaru conceded, though with a glint in his eye that let his subordinate know that he was up to something. "Kabuto, why don't you start setting up for… accidents to happen to our patients, so that we can have irrefutable proof that they are in need for immediate transference to Level Three; we need those patients for our next experiments, they are absolutely vital!"

"Of course, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said respectfully, bowing. "At once!"

With that, Kabuto left Orochimaru's office to start on his boss's nefarious plans, smiles that could only be described as evil upon both men's faces.

* * *

**Yeah, as has already been established, I'm a bitch; hopefully the next update won't take as long as this one has, though reviews would help…. (Yes, I know I'm shameless, but I can live with it.) And yes, I know I don't really have that much of a right to ask for reviews, but I miss everyone who's reviewed! So, here's hoping you had a happy Thanksgiving, and happy holidays in the time to come; just know that at least you don't have to suffer being in the same room as my roommate and her boyfriend at the same time, with them being so lovey-dovey, it's disgusting to hear DX That can be my punishment, how about that? (Seriously, it's like their trying to have sex with clothes on, or something! I'm sitting right over here, not four feet away from you! DX)**


	16. Sakura's Bad Day

**Lately, I've been watching old TV shows from the 90's (my childhood!) online, and I must say, I miss it. You know, back when (surprising, I know) Disney still had actually good shows on. Must say, So Weird (don't own, by the way) is my favorite. Also, my roommate happened to mention that since I don't seem to know of different music/actors/random stuff that happened in our childhood, until it was years later that I must not have been alive in the 90's. I then happened to point out a few things, so it seems now that I was alive, I was just in a coma for that long; who knew? ; P**

**Disclaimer: Maya-chan does not own anything, as I was apparently in a coma for half of my life. I don't see how I would have been able to create and own something as awesome as Naruto if that was the case. The only thing that I may claim is Shinseki. The name came from a suggestion made by Microsoft Word, so if it doesn't seem that great, blame that.**

**Rating: T for attempted suicide, and cursing. And this time, not even by Hidan!**

* * *

Over the course of the next few days, Kakashi and the other counselors were on the lookout for anything that could be taken as suspicious, of which they would compare notes and take under careful scrutiny to make sure that they actually had something, rather than taking any chances of what they had being a false alarm. They also started to make sure that their actions didn't cause any suspicion, and that their patients were okay; they still had their regular jobs to do, of course.

The last part was hardest for Kurenai, who also had some administrative duties along with her job as a counselor, and for Anko, who worked directly with Orochimaru. Luckily for her, it was already common knowledge that she didn't care for Orochimaru or his 'henchman', as she liked to call him, Kabuto that much, so she could pull off not liking them to their faces, as long as she didn't go overboard, though as she told Kakashi once, it was difficult not to 'just storm right up to them and rip their faces right off; though, of course, Kabuto could probably just make them a new face, somehow.'

Luckily for Kakashi, his kids were steadily starting to get better, even more than they had been. There had never really been anything wrong with Naruto in the first place, but he was behaving himself more than he had been, was visiting the air ducts less than before (as far as Kakashi knew, that is), and had been hanging out with his friends more and more often. Lately, he had even been spending a little extra time with Hinata in particular, and Kakashi was hopeful that he would help her out of her protective shell that she had made for herself, AKA the closet. Kakashi had found out recently that the famous closet that she chose to hide in the most had a lock on the inside, so that Hinata felt that she had the choice to lock herself in, and to be able to come out when she felt ready to. Sakura had been remarkably less depressed than she had been displaying earlier, and was hanging out with people her own age more too, particularly Ino. Kakashi had noticed as well that with Sakura's influence, Ino seemed to be eating a bit more, and conversely Sakura was getting more and more sociable. Sasuke talked less and less about 'avenging the clan' and 'killing Itachi', and was instead talking more…about anything, really, though he was still kept to himself mostly. He mostly seemed to hang around Naruto, Sakura, and, grudgingly, Sai. Naruto, being the more outgoing of the four that Kakashi looked after, would forcibly include Sasuke in conversations with others and while Sasuke would only answer with clipped sentences he was still conversing voluntarily, and on occasion would even volunteer something in said conversations without needing to be asked.

This streak of good luck suddenly plummeted one day, about a week and a half after Kakashi and the others' plan of action, when Sakura received a letter.

It was allowed, and even encouraged on some parts, for the patients of Level's One and Two to receive and send letters to people from the outside world, with the hope that it would make them wish to be 'cured' faster than if they were cut off entirely, as an incentive you could say. Mail was anticipated in many cases, as it was the only link to the outside world, and thus the patient's families. However, other people could send mail to the patients, as well, as was the case with Sakura.

Kakashi first noticed something was wrong when he entered his therapy group and noticed that someone was missing, i.e. Sakura. His second clue that something was wrong was the worried looks, hidden on Sasuke and Sai's faces, of the other group members. After taking in the scene before him, Kakashi started feeling unease, unsure if Sakura's disappearance had anything to do with Orochimaru or Kabuto or not.

"Where's Sakura?" Kakashi asked quickly. The patients, seeing someone of authority (that they actually trusted), immediately rushed over to where Kakashi was and started talking at once, though it was hard to understand what they were saying because Naruto was talking very loudly. "One at a time, please."

"Sakura-chan's missing!" Naruto exclaimed loudly. "She got some letter in the mail today, got all white and pale when reading it, suddenly said that she was going to finish what she started, and left before anyone could stop her! We don't know where she is!"

"We think she might actually try something dangerous this time, and she wasn't in any of her usual suicide places," Sasuke said urgently, though clipped so that his emotions wouldn't be shown through completely.

"So, you basically only checked the cafeteria?" Kakashi asked, slightly amused but on the whole worried about Sakura's sudden relapse into emo-ness.

"We didn't have the time to check anywhere else," Sai replied, sounding slightly offended by the idea that they were dumb enough to check only one place; the sudden emotion in his voice surprised Kakashi. _Hopefully something bad doesn't happen to her, though at least Sai is showing emotion again. All that's left is to find her…_

Suddenly getting a flash of inspiration, Kakashi set off for the elevator that would take him to Level Three, barely noticing that the others of his group were following along behind him as well in the hopes of finding their missing comrade.

* * *

Upon reaching the elevator, Kakashi realized that if Sakura was on Level Three, the others would want to follow him there as well, or somehow find their own way up. Turning to the three boys behind him, Kakashi said in a stern, slightly stressed voice, "Now, this is just a hunch, but Sakura might be on Level Three. If she is, there are a few things that you will need to do for me if you want to come along."

The three teenagers nodded their heads seriously, knowing what could be at stake if they wasted anymore time.

"Number one; stay close to me. Don't go off down any corridor up there that you wish, no matter if you think you know the way. There's no guarantee that the air ducts are the same as the corridors, Naruto." Naruto nodded his head, knowing now was not the time to question Kakashi's orders.

"Number two; don't say anything to anyone up there. Remember, they are Level Three for a reason, and that reason's not always because they don't get along well with others. You don't know what they may or may not do, so don't take any chances. Number three, and this applies almost solely to you, Sasuke, though its good advice for you two as well; don't try and kill anybody while we are up there. Remember why we are there, and don't make me regret taking you three along with me, okay?" Kakashi asked, with the serious expression still on his face. Taking note of the serious looks on all three of their faces, and subtly surprised and pleased that Sai was showing such emotion (though he would probably never admit it); Kakashi took their silence as a yes and turned towards the elevator.

"Please STATE _purpose _for approaching THE _elevator_ terminal." The elevator said as its usual greeting.

"Hatake Kakashi and three patients to visit Level Three and possibly retrieve another patient," Kakashi said eager to go and retrieve Sakura— if she was on Level Three that is.

"Please step FORWARD _onto_ the elevator TERMINAL…_Kakashi_," the elevator replied.

"Dude, I think the elevator likes you, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto chuckled, though without much enthusiasm, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

* * *

When Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai reached Level Three, Kakashi was pleasantly surprised to find that the corridor was clear of Level Three patients.

"Where is everybody?" Sai asked, looking around.

"They're probably hiding, thinking that I'm here to give them their medication. That's good news for us, because it means that it's less people in the way. Now," Kakashi said, turning to face the teenagers who came with him, "I'm going to take us to their game room," holding up his hand, Kakashi motioned for them not to start protesting over the fact that the Level Three's get a game room and they didn't, "yes, they get a game room because they are going to be here for a whole lot longer than you will, so they need it more. Now, I'm going to take you there because that's where more than likely most of the Level Three's are, and they may be able to tell us something. Also," Kakashi turned to look directly at Sasuke, "the Akatsuki may be there, including your brother, but don't do anything. If they are there, they more than likely know something about Sakura, and they probably won't tell if you're attacking one of them. Be the bigger man and show him that he doesn't mean anything to you okay? Remember my rules."

Sasuke looked down angrily, but nonetheless agreed to what Kakashi was saying; there would be time, later, to get his revenge.

Walking quickly down the hallway to the game room, Kakashi tried to mentally figure out what had happened to make Sakura act the way that she had. It was something to do with whatever the letter said that she got, there was no other explanation. As to what it said, and who it was from, from what Kakashi knew about her so far, there was only one person who Kakashi could think of that would make Sakura act like this, and that was her old boyfriend. If this was true, and it was her old boyfriend who had sent her the letter, he must have written something that made Sakura, who had been showing such great signs of recovering, relapse like this. All Kakashi could think of, after pondering this theory, was if it was the boyfriend, he better hope that he never meets Kakashi, or any of Sakura's new friends for that matter, alone in a dark alley…

Upon reaching the game room, Kakashi motioned for the boys to slow down, and follow his lead. After silently reminding them about condition number two, Kakashi led the way into the game room. True to form, such as the last time that Kakashi had visited this particular room the other day, the Akatsuki were on the couch, watching a news story on the plasma TV in front of them. Kakashi cast one last warning look, before proceeding over to the self-elected leaders of the Level Threes.

"Hmm, I don't see the program that you were wanting to watch on the guide, Itachi-san," Kisame said, idly flipping through the channels on the on-screen guide. It seemed as if they were searching for a specific channel in particular, but because of the numerous channels on the TV, it was hard to find.

"It might be under a different name. I doubt it would be on any of the big news programs, it's not important enough… Have you tried all of the local listings?" Itachi asked, eyes scanning the passing channels.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I have a question to ask that's very, very important," Kakashi said, walking over to the couch.

"Better make it quick, we're looking for something in particular," Pein said while looking at the television. Turning around to face Kakashi, Pein was the first to notice the company that came with him. "Oh? What are Itachi's brother and his friends doing here?"

When Itachi heard this, he stiffened slightly and started flipping through the channels a bit quicker than he had been. The rest of Akatsuki chose to look either at their new guests, Itachi's composure slipping, or at the rapid channels going by on the TV. Every now and then, Itachi would cast a quick glance at his younger brother, who was determinedly looking away from the group of Level Threes.

"You're not going to find it faster if you keep trying to change the channels like that, you will only end up missing it in the end, and then we'll have wasted time," Sasori mumbled to Itachi.

"Well, why they are with me is part of why we're here," Kakashi said, getting down to business. Pein lifted an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation for why the medicine man and Itachi's younger brother and his friends decided to intrude upon God's territory, that is to say, his own.

"You see, another of my counseling group, Haruno Sakura, received something in the mail that upset her greatly, and now we can't find her. I had a feeling that she might have come up here somehow, since normally we wouldn't bother looking up here," Kakashi explained. "The point is, have you seen a girl with pink hair who doesn't belong up here?" Kakashi stressed.

"Pein, didn't we see someone rush past us up to the roof on our way here?" Konan asked softly.

"Yes, I remember, especially since she didn't bow down in respect to us; I knew she didn't belong up here," Pein agreed, seeming a little put out at the unintentional disrespect.

"Yeah, but don't worry about it too much, Leader-sama," Hidan said, though he was looking directly at Itachi's face, which was becoming more and more un-composed with each passing minute, with pure glee. "She seemed to be really upset, remember? She probably wasn't thinking straight, or she would have shown you respect, seriously. Now, if it had been Jashin-sama she disrespected, she would have been struck down with His wrath where she stood."

At that, Naruto, Sasuke and Sai all turned to glare at Hidan with all they had, though he didn't seem fazed by it at all; on the contrary, it seemed to make him happier.

"Hidan, stop antagonizing our guests; you're being noisy, and I finally found what I was looking for," Itachi said from where he was on the other side of the wrap-around couch.

"Oh? You finally found what you were looking for, Itachi-sempai?" Tobi asked, sounding excited. For him, that is.

"It won't be on for another ten minutes, though. What a bother…" Kakuzu said, sounding despondent that he couldn't count his money, what with all of the noise.

"Thank you, though," Kakashi said, rushing his students out of the room towards the roof, and hopefully towards his ersatz patient. Sasuke, Naruto and Sai left with him, wanting to get as far away from the Akatsuki as they could.

After they had left the room completely, the Akatsuki turned towards Itachi with a questioning look. Itachi was steadfastly keeping his eyes on the television in front of him.

"So? Are you going to tell him, Itachi-san?" Kisame asked, choosing to speak for everyone else.

"…No. It depends on Sasuke, and it's not like he would believe me all of a sudden," Itachi said in a quiet voice. For him, that is. "He would probably think that I had faked it somehow, and that I had gotten all of you to help me with it."

"Nonsense. God and God's Angel bow down to no one." Pein said with finality.

"Yeah, but Leader-sama, it's not like he would believe you, either, un," Deidara said. He shut up when he saw the look that Pein shot at him.

* * *

Meanwhile on the roof, Sakura was standing by the railing, clutching at the letter that had started it all, deciding when would be the best time to jump, and where. _If I jump over there, I'll land on the tree…_ Sakura thought bitterly to herself, the wind blowing strands of her hair in her face. Tears were making their way quickly down her cheeks, following the trails that had been made by earlier tears. _I'd probably survive that way, and I'd be in a lot of pain for a while… they wouldn't give me another chance again…_

"Well, I suppose it's a good sign that your still here and that you haven't jumped yet," came a voice from behind her. Turning around quickly, Sakura saw Kakashi-sensei standing next to the opening to the roof, with Sasuke, Naruto, and even Sai climbing up behind him. "Now, why don't you come over here away from the ledge, and we can talk, alright?"

"N-no! Why are you even bothering with this? It's not like I'm worth it, you're probably only here because if I jump, it'll put a bad mark on your work record!" Sakura accused, unconsciously clutching the letter to the center of her chest. Eyes narrowed when they saw this, however.

"Sakura, if that was true, then why are Naruto, Sasuke, and myself here as well?" Sai pointed out calmly, relying on his usual masked face to deal with Sakura's emotional overload.

"Yeah, Sakura-chan! I mean, Sasuke-teme didn't even attack his asshole of a brother when we saw him when we were looking for you, and Sai didn't even use his usual affectionate nicknames for us! Why would we be here, and do all of that, if we didn't care?" Naruto asked sternly, for once sounding serious. Sakura looked at bit taken aback at that, but before she could try to come up with an excuse, Sasuke cut her off.

"What was in that letter that you got, anyway?"

Sakura's eyes widened at that, before her face clenched in pain. Before Sasuke could possibly take back what he said, or further demand an answer, Kakashi answered for her.

"It was from your ex-boyfriend, wasn't it?"

At that, the boys gained shocked and angry expressions, while Sakura was mainly just shocked.

"H-how did you know?" Sakura asked wearily, clenching the letter even tighter in her hands. The boys looked just as curious, which made Kakashi wonder about their thinking capacity under pressure.

"For one thing, you've been doing so well lately, and the only thing I can think of that would make you regress to the way you were when I first met you, when you were upset about your ex, would be your ex. What did he have to say?" Kakashi asked gently, not wanting to upset Sakura anymore than she already was.

Sakura started crying again, and in the middle of sobs, handed the letter over to Kakashi to read while she collapsed on the ground, curling into a protective ball. Naruto immediately went to comfort Sakura, while Sasuke and Sai read over Kakashi's shoulder.

_Sakura,_

_Hey, at first when I heard from Ami that you had gone to a mental asylum because I broke up with you, I didn't believe it- I mean, yeah, you were kind of pathetic, but I didn't think you were __that__ pathetic. Guess I thought wrong, huh? Anyways, I wanted to tell you that you really need to stop obsessing over me already. Yeah, I suppose you could say that we might have had fun while we were together, but wasn't the point of us breaking up because it wasn't working? Get over me already! I'm with Ami now, so just move on with your life._

_Really, though, how pathetic can you get, if you end up in an __asylum__ because of a break-up. Look, babe, you know as well as I do that your just bothering everyone there, so why not just get over whatever is that your there for, and leave? It'll make everyone happier if you weren't there to bother them. I'm just thinking about you, here, and what's best for you._

_Anyways, I have to leave now, I'm taking Ami out to see that new movie that just came out, you know the one with that one actor you used to like? Or maybe you still do, for all I know. At any rate, this is the last time (hopefully) that we'll talk to each other, so have a nice life._

_See ya, Shinseki_

Kakashi looked at the letter with disgust over how someone could write something like that; it was no wonder, really, that Sakura was feeling the way she was now. Sasuke and Sai both had looks of anger on their faces, and when Naruto had calmed Sakura down a bit, he handed her over to them while he got a look at the letter. When he read it, Naruto was overcome with anger and never before had he wanted to get out of the asylum more than he did now, all so he could punch this 'Shinseki' guy in the face. And maybe the trachea. Why does Naruto know about tracheas? Because Tsunade-baa-chan decided that for one of his punishments in the past, he should know about the body's anatomy, for in case it came in handy later in life, like if he had to identify a part of the anatomy on a game show, or when he beat the crap out of the bastard that made Sakura-chan cry.

"You don't really believe all of the crap, do you Sakura?" Sasuke asked after a moment's pause. Sakura didn't answer, and instead kept her head down. Luckily, though, her crying was coming under control. "Sakura, answer me."

"We-well…I am making everyone upset like this…Wouldn't it be better if I was gone? Nobody would care…" Sakura trailed off sadly. Sai scoffed at that.

"You know, hag, your starting to sound like insecure-pupil-less-girl, and we have the same thing to say to you-if we really didn't care, we wouldn't be here."

"Yeah, and Sakura-chan, when we get out of here, how about teme, Sai and I track this bastard down and beat him up for you, would that make you happy?" Naruto asked, crouching down and looking in Sakura's tear-stained face.

Sakura giggled after a bit, before allowing the boys to help her down from the roof. As they were walking down the hallway, Sai suddenly asked, "Out of curiosity, how is it that you were able to get up here to Level Three, Hag? *beep*-less and Emo and I had to have special permission from Kakashi-sensei to get here, but how was it that you were able to get here without anyone knowing?"

"Oh, well, uh…" Sakura began, before being interested by Kakashi chuckling.

"You followed Naruto's lead and used the air ducts, including the maps that he set up, to get up here, right?" Kakashi asked. Sakura blushed, before nodding.

Sasuke, however, suddenly stopped in the middle of the hallway, with a look of clarity on his face, and one of misplaced anger.

"Ne? Sasuke-teme, what's wrong, dattebayo?" Naruto asked curiously.

"I could have…All this time…I could have just used the air ducts to come up here?" Sasuke asked incredulously, not believing that it never occurred to him before.

"Yes, but now that you've realized it, and along with Sakura's little escape act," here Sakura had the courtesy to look embarrassed, "no one, I repeat, _no one_, is allowed in the air ducts. In fact, I might even have the air ducts sealed so that patients can't enter whenever they want, Naruto."

Two groans were heard from this, as Kakashi led the way past the game room, where the elevator was located at.

* * *

**So, this chapter was interesting to write. I had had this idea in my head, but I wasn't sure if I should use it or not, when I thought 'what the hell'. Also, I'm setting up with this chapter for a few future events. I can't wait for them! ^_^ Please review and tell me how my writing is, if it sucked or not. True, I'm in an English class this semester, but I want to know how I'm doing before I actually have to do my first paper, which is due next week, I think… I need to make note of this, I just know it. Ah, vell. **


	17. Surprises, surprises

**Well, it's been a few months, I went to an anime convention, had a lot of fun, my computer's started acting up a few days ago (yesterday; quite frankly, I'm surprised I was able to upload this), and I typed this whole story in one day. Yeah, I need to develop a work ethic. If anyone went to Kawa-Con and saw a girl with glasses on wearing a Momiji-rabbit backpack, that was my sister. I was the girl with her. Hi, how are you?**

**Disclaimer: Maya-chan does not own Naruto, as she pretty much gets her money solely from her parents and relatives. Yes, I'm a freeloader, sue me. Though, not really. Cause you know, no money?**

**Rating: Eh, I think I mentioned maybe one curse word in here, and there might be a mentioning of offing someone, so why don't we just stick with T? It could end up being my default setting, or something.**

* * *

After retrieving Sakura from the roof, and secretly swearing that they would make her ex cry just as much as she had, Kakashi and they boys escorted the poor girl down the hallway towards the elevator. However, as they were passing the game room (Naruto was complaining to Sakura over the injustice of it all), they heard a loud noise coming from the television inside. Figuring that it must be the news program that Itachi had been wanting to watch so much, Kakashi stopped just outside to catch a glimpse out of curiosity. The patients stopped with him, partly because they would probably get in trouble if they went off by themselves, partly because they didn't really know the way, and partly out of curiosity, as well.

On the inside of the room, the Akatsuki had silenced everyone there to better hear the program. Konan had also had the insight to set up the DVR (yes, the Level Threes are well connected to the outside world, even if they can't join it) to record the program so that they could watch it whenever they (i.e., Itachi) wanted to. Everyone in the Akatsuki was near the TV, and Tobi had apparently been thoughtful enough to make popcorn. On the television itself was the news program, which had a newscaster telling about a new arrest in an investigation of a mass homicide that occurred a few years earlier. The newscaster, an elderly man by the name of Tazuna, was in the middle of telling the details, when a picture of the suspect was put on the screen.

The picture was of a young man, who looked remarkably like Itachi, except that the name given was Bob. Yeah, Kakashi couldn't figure it out, either. It was only at around this time that Kakashi noticed that Sasuke was gone. Kakashi found him approaching the Akatsuki, and quickly had Naruto, Sai, and Sakura (all with confused looks on their faces) follow him as he went after Sasuke. This was definitely in disregard for the rules that Kakashi had set down earlier, he was sure of it.

"-And it was as the suspect, Uchiha Bob, was apprehended at a local bar that the suspect started yelling out about how he had, quote, 'Been found out', and that his 'pansy-ass brothers probably gave him up.' The suspect then proceeded to attack the arresting police officers with what witness's report as being a croquet mallet that he happened to find near the entrance of the bar. After a brief struggle, which led to 35 police officers being admitted to the local hospital with various injuries, the suspect was finally taken into custody, where he will remain, without bail, until his hearing. And now, more on the tropical storm that is hitting the Land of Waves as we speak, Kaiza is reporting live, Kaiza?"

After turning the television off the Akatsuki, save Itachi, turned to watch the showdown between brothers.

Sasuke glared at the back of Itachi's head, and had been glaring ever since he saw the news program. Itachi on the other hand hadn't moved since five minutes before the program began, nor had he shown any sign that he knew his brother was standing behind him.

"You knew?" Sasuke asked in a voice that was clearly choked with anger.

"Yes," Itachi replied simply. There didn't seem to be anything else that he wanted to say, and instead let his brother vent is anger at him.

"You knew, all this time, that that guy was still alive? Why didn't you tell me? Hell, why is he still alive? Didn't you kill everybody? Why is he taking credit for it? Not once have you denied to me that it was you, and I have to find out from some local news program that apparently I was wrong this whole time? Better yet, were you ever planning on telling me?" Sasuke yelled out at his brother. The room had gotten more quiet than before, if it was possible, and several patients had left when they saw what was about to happen. The rest decided to leave after the outburst, leaving only the Akatsuki, Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura, Sai, and of course, Sasuke.

"Would you have believed me if I had said that?" Itachi countered with his own question, quite calmly considering the situation he was in. "Also you adamantly thought that it was me who had done that; you even said that you saw me with your own eyes. You were so quick to decide that it was me, without even considering our brother that it wouldn't have mattered to you if I told you I was innocent. You still would have believed that it was me either way, so there didn't seem a point."

Sasuke fumed for a bit, still out of breath after yelling so much, before he asked, "Would you have even told me if I hadn't seen this?"

In the background, Tobi was handing out the popcorn he had made earlier; seemingly it had been meant for this showdown, instead of for the news show. Kakashi stood off to the side with the rest of his patients, watching and waiting, ready to jump in whenever he felt it necessary. For now, though, he just stood and watched, knowing that this was an important point of development in Sasuke's cure depending on what he decided to do next, and also dependent on Itachi's answer.

Itachi was silent for a moment, before finally turning around to face his brother. "I'm not really sure myself; most likely, I would have left some hint of it, or left a recording of the program somewhere for you to watch. I highly doubt that you would even bother to listen to me if I just told you face to face."

Sasuke glared at Itachi, before turning around to where Kakashi and the others were. "Let's go guys, it's almost lunch time." As he was leaving the room, Sasuke said over his shoulder to Itachi, "I'm still angry at you."

Itachi countered with "Have a nice lunch." Sasuke growled to himself, not able to think of a comeback.

* * *

When Kakashi reached Level One with his now full squad of patients, he instructed them to go to lunch, and if they felt that they needed the session that they missed, they could come see him during their free time. After seeing his patients off, Sakura in the middle of being told that if she ever did anything like that again they would shave her head (Naruto's words), Kakashi made his way over to the staff lounge to give his report to the others.

When Kakashi reached the staff room, he noticed that Kurenai, Asuma, and Gai were there as well. Wandering over to an empty chair, Kakashi asked Gai where Anko and Baki were. Gai replied something about Baki having a meeting with his real bosses with the Secret Remote Squad, and that he wouldn't be back until the next day. Anko, on the other hand, arrived at that moment, looking thoroughly upset, much more than she had when she found out about the things happening at the asylum without her knowledge.

"It's over; everything we've worked toward is useless!" Anko said, clearly freaked out.

* * *

As tempted as I am to end it here that would be too cruel; so, here's the next part! ^_^

* * *

"What do you mean? Did Orochimaru figure it out?" Kakashi asked, not liking to see Anko so upset. The others in the room had her sit down and tried to calm her enough so that she could tell them what was so terrible.

"Maybe! He could have, I don't know. But suddenly, he's having me and Kabuto transfer multiple patients to Level Three!" Anko exclaimed after having a shot of whatever Asuma had been drinking.

Kurenai, Asuma, Gai and Kakashi gasped as one, realization starting to sink in.

"By 'multiple patients'," Asuma began slowly, "how many are we talking about?"

"Sixteen," Anko said promptly, taking another drink out of Asuma's cup. Apparently he was drinking some new brand of coffee, and in her state of upset, Anko was quickly becoming addicted to it.

"Why would he do such a thing?" Kurenai asked, disgusted over her boss.

"Because, from what we can see, none of them seem to be getting any better," came a voice from the doorway. Turning around, Kakashi saw that it was Kabuto himself, looking smug. "Oh, but don't worry, we know that it's not any of your faults as councilors. There is just no hope for them; why, they have even had multiple counselors, and still nothing has changed. As for you, Kakashi, as the newest counselor here, it hasn't been fair to you; your patient, Sakura, she tried to kill herself for real today, didn't she? That's very serious, and can't just be looked over. There was nothing you could do, really. As for your other patients, Naruto, Sasuke and Sai? Well, Sai we don't see as having a chance to regain his emotions, impossible, really. Naruto has been here for so long, seven years, literally how long this asylum has been in existence, and no signs of improvement? Nothing to be done but actually move him somewhere where we know we won't give him false hope for getting out of here. Also, it's for his own good; since he has been here for half of his life, it's not as if he would be able to function well out in society, so better to keep him here where knows what's going on. As for Sasuke, I know it's a bit tricky moving him up with his brother, but from what we have seen from a certain news program, there shouldn't be a problem anymore. Now, there will be a problem if we set him loose in society, especially if he still has a grudge against his brother."

Kabuto explained all of this in a condescending tone of voice, both talking down and making it seem as if he is sympathizing with them. Gai interrupted, growling, "And what about the rest of our patients?"

"Well, it's as I explained earlier," Kabuto said, keeping the tone of voice that he had been using since he entered the room. "There have been no signs of improvement, and for your patients in particular, Gai, it would be dangerous if we allowed them to be released into society. Why, they are the very definitions of Level Threes." Kabuto replied with a shrug of the shoulders, and then left.

* * *

When Kabuto returned to Orochimaru's office on the fourth floor, he gave his report that he told the counselors about the new change.

"Excellent, Kabuto," Orochimaru said gleefully, enjoying this much more than he should. "Tell me, Kabuto, how did they take it? What were their expressions?"

"If I had to choose just one word, Orochimaru-sama, I would choose disgusted, or maybe outraged," Kabuto answered with a smile on his face. "If I didn't know any better, I would say that our Anko-chan was close to tears," Kabuto ended, sounding amused.

"Well, now, that is too bad," Orochimaru agreed.

"Orochimaru-sama, the spy, Baki, wasn't at the staff room, and when I checked the duty roster I noticed that he had taken leave today for 'personal reasons'. What should I do about him? We don't even know how they found out about us, or even who told them," Kabuto pointed out, getting the conversation back on topic.

"Oh, I have an idea about who told, and how," Orochimaru said with a sudden cunning look on his face. "And I think you know what to do, considering our spy, Kabuto."

* * *

**Well, it's not as long as I thought it would be, and the whole Sasuke-Itachi reveal wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be. Ah, vell. I love that saying. And yes, I totally copped out on the whole Itachi-has-an-evil-twin-thing. Sue me, I came up with that idea with my sister a few years ago, when we suddenly decided that we loved Itachi and didn't want him to have been bad. Hopefully this gets the ball rolling on the end, it's…not quite insight, but I can see a vague outline over the dashboard of my consciousness. Yeah. Please review! ^_^**


	18. Transitions

**Holy crap, what's this?! Another update?! You can all thank **Zaxara **for this update, since his was the **_**only**_** review that I received, and I felt guilty and bored enough to go ahead and write this chapter up. Yes, I am shameless, thank you very much. Anyways, hopefully if I start updating like this again, I'll be able to finish soon-ish! Yay! ^_^**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it. I don't have the work ethic or the drawing capability to be able to own Naruto. All I own is this story idea…**

**Rating: Some swearing, but hey, can you blame them? Let's call it a T rating.**

* * *

Kakashi did not like having to tell his kids about their impending move to the Third Level, especially after their small victory with Sakura. So, Kakashi decided that he would tell his patients along with Kurenai, Asuma and Gai as they told theirs and Baki's together. That was another thing that was bothering Kakashi, ever since the announcement from Kabuto, neither Kakashi nor anyone else he had talked to had seen or heard from the tall, silent man; even his own patients hadn't heard anything from him. Thus, it fell upon Kakashi and the others to not only tell their own patients but also the three siblings from the sand.

Gathering everyone into the large counseling room that Kakashi had used earlier for the larger group meetings, the counselors began the difficult job of informing the poor teenagers of their fate. Said teenagers, however, knew from the looks on their counselors' faces that something bad had happened, or was going to happen, and it involved them.

"Something bad happened, didn't it?" Shikamaru asked, for once paying avid attention to what was going on around them. One look from the counselors was enough to tell him all he needed, being the genius that he is.

"How bad is it?" Tenten asked, mentally bracing herself.

"Bad enough, my dear youthful Tenten," Gai said somberly, which only further enhanced their fear of what was happening.

"Does it have anything to do with Baki-sensei disappearing?" Kankuro asked.

At this, the counselors exchanged looks, trying to non-verbally decide if it did or not. Deciding to at least not freak them out more than they already were, the grown-ups chose to tell them that Baki's mother had come down with a sickness recently, so he was charged to go and visit her. For the most part, the group believed them, though Kakashi noticed that Baki's own patients exchanged doubtful looks with each other.

"Well, if it's not about that, why are you all here looking like the world's just ended, dattebayo?" Naruto demanded, tired of this whole avoiding-the-topic business that the grown-ups were doing.

Sighing, Asuma decided to bite the bullet and be the one to tell everyone; that, and he had lost at rock-paper-scissors. No one wanted the job of informing their beloved patients that they were going to be forced to stay in the hell-hole of a place called an asylum that was run by a psychotic doctor who was going to use them for medical experiments, if he hadn't already.

"It seems as though the higher-ups have decided that because there hasn't been any notable improvement, all of you will be transferred over to Level Three," Asuma said gently, hoping to make the news seem not as bad or as scary. Unfortunately, the patients couldn't be fooled.

Hinata burst into tears, as did Sakura and Ino who hugged each other for support. Choji stopped eating his chips, Tenten gasped and covered her mouth with her hands, Lee gained a struck look on his face, and pretty much everyone else froze where they were. Naruto chuckled hesitatingly, before saying, "This is a joke, right? Come on guys, that's not even a little bit funny, not at all!" After looking at Kakashi's face, however, Naruto struck out in rage and hit the wall next to where he was sitting.

"Why? What did we do?" Naruto asked angrily, the start of anger tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "What do you mean we haven't improved? What kind of crap is that about? What could more could I have done, I've been here for half of my freaking life, what more do they want from me?"

"It's because you've been here for half of your life," Kakashi said in a detached voice. "Because you have been in the asylum for almost as long as you can remember, the chain of command has figured that it would be difficult for you to readjust to life on the outside; there's even some concern about your educational knowledge, that it isn't enough to live by."

"What do you mean, 'live by'?!" Naruto shouted. "I'm only fourteen years old, it's not like I'm going to be living on my own! And anyways, I've had enough schooling while I've been here, it's mandatory in case you forgot!"

"We're not saying that it makes any sense," Anko said as she was walking into the counseling room. She had only just gotten done with her administrative duties and wanted to be here for support for everyone. "These are just the arguments that we've been given, none of us are saying that we agree with it. My opinion, you should have never even been here to begin with, especially Lee on this."

Turning to Gai, Lee's counselor, Anko asked, "Why is it again that _Lee_ is being sent to Level Three of all places?"

Pulling out a piece of paper, Kurenai read in a monotone, "Because he is a danger not only to himself but to other, normal people as well." This got the patient's attention through the haze of despair that they had sunk into.

"You have a list of why we're going up there?" Sasuke demanded, clearly asking-yet-not-asking for her to tell them all each and every specific reason per person of what it was that they had supposedly done wrong.

"Yes, but I'm not going to read it off; it would just make you more upset," Kurenai answered swiftly.

By now, with the news finally sinking in fully, there seemed to be a calm to settle over the sixteen patients. Or, at least, as calm as they could be considering the circumstances.

"Just to make absolutely sure, are you positive that there is no way possible for us to get out of here once we reach Level Three status?" Temari asked, very business-like.

"None; if there were, I would have acted by now," Anko said, leaning against the back wall. She sounded like she was trying to keep the despair out of her voice, but Kakashi could still hear it leak through a bit.

"Wait, what about Tsunade-shishou?" Sakura asked, wiping the tears out of her eyes. "She might know of something, I think she once told me that she, Orochimaru, and some friend of theirs started this place together, before their friend went on some journey…"

Exchanging doubtful looks, the adults said that they would look into it and immediately volun-told (combination of 'volunteer' and 'told') Asuma to do the task. He objected at first, mainly because she would start telling him that he needs to stop smoking, but after one look from Kurenai, Asuma set off to find the slug-doctor; first, however, he said goodbye to Ino, Shikamaru and Choji.

"Hey, don't forget; just 'cause you're up there now, doesn't mean you can cut corners with your eating habits. That means, Ino, you need to eat more, and Choji you need to eat less. Shikamaru, you're in charge of these two so look out for them. Also, since you're supposedly here because of your 'rule-the-world' tendencies, you could try and figure a way out of this in your spare time. But remember, there's no pressure, so don't feel like you have to do this just so others will appreciate you or leave you alone," Asuma advised. With that, he left the room in search for more answers.

After a few more moments, Kurenai spoke privately with her own kids, telling them how sorry she was and how hard she had tried, and will still try to help them out. Kakashi went over to his own kids to ask them how they were doing.

"A little shocked, all things considered," Sakura said, wincing a bit. "I had just gotten used to the idea of getting out of here with everyone, and then bragging to all the people at my school about how great my new friends were, when this happens," she followed up sadly.

"Yeah, and I was going to be able to eat Free Ramen for the first time in forever, instead of the stuff they have here," Naruto sulked. "I was also going to help teme and Sai beat up Sakura-chan's ex, too…" Sakura giggled a bit at this, before getting depressed again.

"I suppose I should not be upset at all," Sai began, "since my purpose is originally to follow orders. If those orders tell me that I need to stay here forever, because I am not good enough for the outside world, then so be it. That's how I was trained, after all… But ever since I came here, it feels as if a new world of consciousness has opened up in front of me, and I'm no longer satisfied by that; I suppose this would be considered 'irony,' that it is only after I see what I am missing, it has to be taken away from me?"

"No," Sasuke said grumpily. "Irony is that it is only right after I realize that I had the wrong brother to want revenge on that I'm now going to be stuck with him forever, now."

"Oh, yeah," Naruto said, looking up suddenly. "I was wondering about this, but how did you get those two mixed up? I know they're twins and all, but don't they have different personalities, or something?"

"Dobe," Sasuke replied angrily, "it was dark out; I couldn't tell the difference. Normally I could just by looking at them, but they look the same at night. And anyways, I guess I just thought that my mind had blacked out for part of that, since I couldn't remember exactly what had happened."

Sakura gained a thoughtful look, before saying, "That sounds like something that happened in Forster's _A Passage To India_; one of the female characters who's new to India is taken on a tour of the caves there, gets separated, and something happens to her, though you never find out what, or if it happened at all and she ends up blaming an innocent man."

The four of them looked at her with a questioning gaze, though for Naruto it could have been because he didn't know what she was talking about. Sakura blushed, before moving her left hand behind her head and rubbing it.

"Eh heh heh, I read that when I was bored once, and trying to take my mind off how hopeless I thought my situation was. It was an interesting look into Modernistic Writing from the early 20th Century…" Sakura led off embarrassedly.

…_I didn't even read that book, or even hear of it, until I was in college, and she's read it already? _Kakashi thought disbelievingly. _What is she, fourteen? I bet she got good grades in school…_

"Well, moving on, I think you should go talk to the Subaku siblings over there, since their own counselor isn't here right now; they could use someone to talk to," Kakashi said, motioning over to the three Sand Sibs who were over in a corner talking to each other.

"Oh yeah, great idea!" Naruto said, already heading off over to them. "Hey, Gaara, over here!"

After ditching his patients over to talk to their peers, Kakashi walked over to where Anko was leaning against the wall and stood next to her. While still looking out at the group of patients, Kakashi started up a conversation.

"So, what do you think happened to Baki?"

"Honestly, I think he was made," Anko said in a somewhat monotone.

"Made?" Kakashi asked, not getting the reference she was making.

"Yeah, made, as in he was found out by Orochimaru, Kabuto, or both," Anko explained. Kakashi gained a grim look on his face at this revelation.

"So, do you think he's…?" Kakashi left the end open, not really wanting to voice the probability that their fellow counselor/Secret Remote Squad member might have been killed by the creepy henchman of their boss.

"It's a possibility, I'll admit," Anko stated, looking down at her feet, before looking over at Kakashi. "But I don't think it's likely. You have to remember, Baki was a member of the Secret Remote Squad, and he was at their headquarters when this happened, so even if he wasn't actually there for someone to take him out, he'll have found out about it. We have to stay positive, and hope that the reason why we haven't heard from him is because it's too dangerous to. Otherwise, it would be very bad."

Kakashi thought this over, and came to the conclusion that she was right. He hadn't known Baki for very long, and for part of that Baki was undercover, but from what Kakashi knew, he figured that Baki was a cautious man who was worried for the state of his country; particularly since now, the anticipated next ruler could no longer take over as he was in a mental institution now. This brought up a new concern that Kakashi hadn't thought about until just then; what was going to happen to the country of Suna? Was this part of Orochimaru's plan, or just an unlucky coincidence? Kakashi wasn't sure if he believed in coincidences, but for the sake of Suna and the rest of the world to follow, he hoped that this was what it was.

Anko seemed to pick up on Kakashi's train of thought, and with a nod to him set off towards the three patients from Suna. Kakashi, on the other hand, recalled his own patients back to him to give them some last words of advice.

* * *

Anko walked nonchalantly over to Temari, Kankuro and Gaara who were still over in their own little private corner. Every now and then, Anko noticed a few of the other patients glance over at them as well, most likely worried for them, before being turned away by glares that they would receive from the siblings.

"You know, you shouldn't keep being so antisocial to them, their just worried for you," Anko said as she settled in next to Kankuro by the wall. "That's the whole reason why you're here, isn't it? You might as well make the best out of the rest of your time here…"

"Yeah, easy for you to say since you can just leave here and go home anytime you want," Kankuro said to her. "Us, even if we get out of here, we're still the farthest away from home out of anybody, I don't know why we're even _in_ an asylum in a different country to begin with."

"Don't you remember?" Gaara said softly and slowly, as what seemed to be his normal tone of voice. "We were recommended to come here by one of That Man's friends."

This interested Anko, since she hadn't even heard of why they came here. Naturally, she had wondered why it was that they came all the way to Konoha for treatment, but Anko had always assumed that it was because the place was receiving recognition as of late for its programs. The place wasn't totally evil, it had helped others legitimately before as Anko had seen multiple times. Anko supposed that that was how the place had been able to stay in business for so long; it wouldn't do for a place to have a reputation of accepting patients but not allowing them to leave, or leave and not be better. But what really interested Anko was that Gaara had said 'That Man'. From what she knew from reading their files and from listening to their conversations, Anko knew that all three of the Subaku's referred to their father that way. If they were referred by one of their father's friends, does that mean that he had something to do with Orochimaru? This would have to be taken up with Kakashi later, Anko was sure…

"And at any rate, those others are just worrying over nothing," Temari said haughtily, turning her back on a certain person who was glancing over her way. "We're tough, _I'm_ tough, so something like this won't bother me-us-at all, even if Baki-sensei has suddenly decided to go AWOL."

"That sounds like a bad attitude to take," Anko said smirking slightly. "And I know all about bad attitude's, having one myself. There's nothing wrong with having friends you can depend on, and who can depend on you in return. It's actually quite nice." Anko mused, moving back over to the front of the room where Kakashi was.

The three siblings were left looking at her back as she left, contemplating what she told them. With a glance at the others, the idea that maybe everyone else wasn't pure stupid entered their minds, leaving them wondering if they should go and talk to them, or wait for later…

* * *

When the four that Kakashi was in charge of came back over to Kakashi, he noticed that there was a new air about them, particularly one of anger.

"What the hell, man?" Naruto asked, sulking and crossing his arms as he slid onto the floor next to Kakashi.

"Did something happen while you were talking with your new friends?" Kakashi asked, already figuring out that something must have happened to make them upset. Or, at least, to make Naruto upset. The others were more trying to get Naruto to calm down.

"Yeah, we just went over there to talk to them, see how they were doing," Naruto complained, "when Gaara's older brother was all like, 'hey, kid, why don't you leave us alone and play with your little friends somewhere else?' I wasn't even talking to him, I was talking to Gaara!"

"Maybe that's why he was upset, was because you weren't paying attention to him?" Sakura asked in a soothing, pacifying tone of voice. It resulted in Sasuke, Sai, and Naruto to look at her as if she had grown an extra head.

"You don't know guys at all, do you Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked.

"Considering I'm a girl, I got dumped by my only boyfriend after a month for some slut of a cheerleader, and I've developed issues where I want to kill myself because of said ass-wipe of a boyfriend, I'm going to say no," Sakura said sardonically.

"It can't be that bad, hag," Sai said, trying to jump into his role as a 'friend who has emotions'.

"You remember last night, right?" Sasuke asked in a seemingly bored tone as he was looking out at everybody else, though Kakashi noticed that every now and then he would sneak looks to where Sakura was sitting next to Naruto.

Naruto, however, had already lost interest and was glancing between where a certain shy girl was being comforted by her cousin, and where a potential new friend was who was also being surrounded protectively by his siblings. Naruto wanted to get on better terms with everyone, but especially these two; they seemed like they needed a friend the most out of everyone he had met so far.

Around this time, Anko came over and whispered quickly what she found out into Kakashi's ear. Kakashi's eyes widened a bit, before motioning for Gai and Kurenai to start to get their patients together to move over to Level Three. Kakashi also noticed that a few of the patients, particularly Shikamaru, Shino, Sasuke, and Neji, noticed the exchange that happened, but Kakashi hoped to keep them busy enough to drive it from their minds. Considering one of them was literally smart enough to have entire countries worried that he might try and take over, Kakashi's hopes were slim.

* * *

Moving everyone up to Level Three was difficult in its own right, without the added fact that quite a few of the patients tried to hide away so that they wouldn't go to Level Three (Hinata), the fact that they were moving sixteen new patients to Level Three was a hassle, particularly when it became crowded enough that they had to take two trips in the elevator to get everyone up.

When everyone eventually did reach Level Three, they had attracted a bit of a crowd, as it wasn't everyday that anybody, let alone sixteen people, joined Level Three. Among these people to join in the crowd of on-lookers were the Akatsuki.

When Itachi saw that his little brother was on Level Three, with several others that included his new friends, and that he had luggage along with everyone else, he grew upset. When Pein, reigning as God of Level Three and pretty much anything else he deemed necessary to govern, found that sixteen new patients were joining Level Three without his knowledge, and among them were Itachi's little brother and the Medicine Men's patients, he grew concerned.

Stepping forward, Pein demanded to know what was going on so that all of these new people were suddenly joining them.

Kakashi motioned for Pein to follow him over to a less crowded area and (after checking the area for butterflies) explained what they had found out, what they presumed had happened, and what they thought Orochimaru might do as well. Pein grew very worried over the state of things and drew over Konan, as God's Angel, and Kakuzu, Kisame, and Sasori to discuss things further.

While this was happening, Sasuke had told a frantic Itachi why he was there and why his little friends were there as well. Itachi quickly turned to his boss, and when he saw that not only Pein but also Kisame were in deep conversation with Kakashi, Itachi turned to his younger brother and his friends, and told them in a quiet voice, "Don't worry; we'll get you out of here if it's the last thing we do."

* * *

**Again, I'm shocked that I had the focus to actually get this done. I guess the important lesson for me to learn here is to never underestimate how bored you can get. Anyways, since I've uploaded two chapters in a record-breaking (for me, at least) four days, please review! ^_^ **


	19. Adapting

…**.AAAnnndddd----! I'm back! Again! This whole, updating every four days thing might actually stick, but you know, it takes three times for it to become a habit. That means that I have one more to go, before it's a habit, so wish me luck! XD**

**Disclaimer: Maya-chan2007 is too much anxiously awaiting tomorrow, so she doesn't have time to want to wish for Naruto to be hers. He belongs to his creator, whose name I can't really remember off the top of my head, or how to spell it. Naruto's not even that hot, compared to some other hot anime boys… mmmm, Kyo, or Akira. Bonus points if you know which manga these two belong to, hint: they're in the same manga. Which is Maya-chan's favorite. I'll shut up now.**

**Rating: Yeah, this one's definitely rated T, since there's multiple uses of swear words, including but not limited to the F-bomb. You know which one I'm talking about…**

* * *

Hours after Kakashi and the rest of the counselors moved their former patients to Level Three, Kakashi and the counselors met with members of the Akatsuki to discuss what would be done now that they had most likely been found out. The rest of the Akatsuki who weren't at the meeting were getting the new Level Three's settled in with their new life, and going over the new rules that they had to follow.

"Okay, shit-heads," Hidan began, looking each and every one in the eye. "Pretty much all you have to know, is that we, the Akatsuki, are the masters of Level Three, seriously. That means that if you do anything, make sure it won't annoy us, if you have a problem with someone up here, solve it yourself and don't get us involved, and above all else, leave us the fuck alone!"

"Conversely," Itachi said right after Hidan left off, giving him a look chastising him for his language, "if something happens to you, and it's big, come to us; we'll take care of it. That means that if anyone tries to make you do illegal things, don't do it and immediately report it to us. As the Masters of Level Three, it is our duty to make sure things run smoothly up here and to make sure everyone gets along semi-well with everyone else. It is, after all, Pein-sama's territory here, and as the resident god, he is in absolute control of everything. As Pein-sama's workers, it is our duty as Akatsuki to carry out his will."

"But that's only if you believe he is a god," Hidan argued back, deciding that this was turning into a religious debate. "Obviously, he's not the real god; Jashin-sama is! I assume none of you poor heathens even know about the Gospel of Jashin-sama, so it's my job as Jashin-sama's faithful servant to teach you! Who's up for learning about Jashin-sama, seriously?" Hidan asked, looking around expectantly.

Surprising enough, Hinata raised her hand. Before Neji or anyone else could stop her, Hinata said, "I-I'll learn! M-maybe with religion, I'll b-be able t-to l-learn my t-true p-path in life, a-and why it is t-that I e-exist."

Hidan gained a happy look on his face, before dragging the poor shy girl off with him so that he could teach Hinata the basics of Jashin's tenements of life, and what her purpose, as a member of the Church of Jashin would be. Needless to say, Neji, Kiba and Shino chased after them before dragging Hinata back. What they didn't see is that Hidan had slipped her a pamphlet on the Word of Jashin.

"Yeah, ignoring him, un," Deidara started, dragging everyone back into their original conversation. "There are also certain privileges that you will now be able to have, un."

"Like what?" Kiba asked, though he was keeping an eye on Hinata and Hidan, to make sure that nothing suspicious happened while he wasn't looking.

"Such as being able to have access to the game room," Konan said in her soft voice as she entered the room. With a quick look to the Akatsuki that were present, Konan let them know that the meeting was still being held but she was allowed to come back so that way she could keep a better eye on the new arrivals and be able to report anything that happened. Such was the job of God's Angel, and Konan fulfilled her responsibilities to the fullest. "Before, you had probably on heard rumors that we even had a game room, but we do. You will now have full access to it, with a few exceptions."

"Such as?" Shikamaru asked, not really liking the whole 'exception' thing; it was all just too troublesome, even having to learn the new rules for this new Level he was on was too troublesome, and now he learns that there is going to be exceptions to what they can and cannot do? One word: troublesome.

"We, as in the Akatsuki, have full and total control of the couch in front of the plasma screen TV, as well as control of the plasma screen," Deidara said, looking smug as he crossed his arms and letting the newbie's catch a glimpse of his tattooed hands. "We will not tolerate for others to even attempt to try and claim either; luckily for you, there are other TV's in the game room, as well as other couches."

"What happens if we don't follow any of these 'rules'?" Tenten asked, feeling that she should at least clarify this for some of the ones among them that seemed the most likely to break these new rules.

Shino immediately began a lecture on how one should always follow the rules, but was interrupted by one of the Akatsuki who had his own opinion about what would happen.

"**Well, you could always find out what the inside of my stomach looks like,**" Zetsu said from where he was in the corner, leaning against the wall. Tobi wasn't with him, however; he was in the meeting with the rest of the Akatsuki and the counselors, though the patients did not know this.

A few people backed away from where Zetsu was when he said this, and their fears weren't necessarily relieved when he answered himself by admonishing himself for scaring their new 'guests'.

"Don't even think that you'll get special privileges just because you're Itachi's brother, and Itachi's brother's friends," Deidara said, glaring both at the new arrivals and at the hated man in question. "I, for one, hate Itachi, so none of that special treatment crap is going to be accepted here, got it, un?"

There was a moment of silence while Itachi looked away boredly (or at least as bored as he could get under the circumstances) and the new patients just stared at Deidara. One person, Sai, even said that they wouldn't think of accepting special treatment just because he knew the emo-kid, who was related to the Greater Emo. Deidara snickered at that, before Konan mentioned that Sasori would be annoyed if he knew that Deidara started disparaging Itachi as soon as his back was turned. Hidan laughed at that, before Konan mentioned the same with Kakuzu. Both Hidan and Deidara started sulking a bit, though they made sure that it wasn't noticeable to the new patients.

"We'll also show you where the best hiding places are, for when the medication is dispensed," Itachi said, going on as if nothing had happened. Several people looked relieved over this, having had heard rumors about the infamous 'medicine of the Level Threes' from others, or even from Level Threes themselves.

Then, Naruto mentioned something that would change everything. Possibly.

* * *

Meanwhile, the adults and the missing Akatsuki members where having a strategic meeting over the new happenings.

"So, now that we're pretty sure that Orochimaru's on to us, what should we do?" Sasori asked, ready to get to business and not waste any time; after all, time was precious, as the young man knew after having his time with his parents ripped away from him at such an early age.

"Well, we're not sure if this is important or not," Asuma began, lighting a cigarette. After a look of disdain from Pein, and Kurenai, Asuma sorrowfully put it out and resumed speaking. "But one of our fellow counselors, Baki, has disappeared on us. We found out that he's actually someone that the Secret Task Force sent over to check up on things, but ever since Kabuto told us about our patients being transferred over here, we haven't been able to get in touch with him."

"It's possible that he was captured, or dealt with," Kakuzu said, thinking seriously about the problems on hand.

"He could also be in hiding, or investigating something else," Kurenai said quickly, not really wanting to believe that anything had happened to her fellow counselor, even if he wasn't really one to begin with.

"These are all plausible questions, and answers," Pein said regally, before moving on to the next point of interest. "Is there anything else that anyone has to offer?"

Anko spoke forward here, telling of her conversation with the three siblings from Sand, and of how they were recommended to come here by a friend of their douche-bag father's, and how this could possibly turn into an international incident now that the next in line for Kazekage is stuck in an asylum.

"This could be some sort of plot, so that now that friend of their douche-bag father's is now in charge, and in exchange there are three new patients for Orochimaru and Kabuto to work with," Kisame said, a gleam in his eye from something, though the counselors weren't sure what.

"I'm not sure if you know this," Sasori said to the counselors, "but I am originally from Suna. Do you happen to know the name of the person who recommended them here?"

Anko thought for a moment, before she remembered one of the siblings, maybe Kankuro, mentioning someone by the name of 'Yura' once or twice. Sasori glared at this name, before starting to mutter darkly to himself.

"Is something wrong, Sasori?" Kakuzu asked, noticing this behavior. Gai thought that he might be sick, but when he went over to check on the young man, Sasori glared hard at him, making Gai back down, before answering.

"As some of you may know, my grandmother and great-uncle are the advisors for the Kazekage's," Sasori began, though he spoke bitterly of his grandmother, perhaps because she is the reason why he is there. "I mention this since because of them I know practically all of the officials names and faces from Suna; Yura is one, and a very high ranked one at that. Actually, now that I think of it, it was him who suggested to my _lovely_ grandmother that I should come here for treatment. Sick bastard."

"So, what we should consider are these points," Kakashi said, channeling some of the knowledge that his father had taught him. "One, Orochimaru struck a deal with a high-ranking official in Suna, guaranteeing that any threats to his becoming Kazekage would be gone, what with the actual Kazekage being in jail, his son and successor in an asylum, and the only grandson of the Elders also in the asylum, while in exchange he can also guarantee that Suna will side with Orochimaru from now on. Two, once this is done, Orochimaru and Kabuto would gather many other supposedly clinically insane youth in his asylum, curing the ones that he couldn't use, and moving the ones that he would experiment on to Level Three where no one would care about them anymore, no offence. Three, whenever it looks as if he is about to be found out, he indirectly attacks back by sending the patients that are under the specific counselors who are against him up to Level Three, where there would be nothing more we could do for them, while he gains sixteen more patients to experiment on."

"And from what Baki said, before he disappeared," Gai picked up, "he experiments by using newly created drugs on the patients, takes the results, and then sells to the highest bidder, whether they be for medical purposes or for warfare. And if anything happens to the patients, he can always attribute it as to the patient being insane, for why else would he be here?" Gai ended bitterly, not liking the prospect of Lee having to face this monstrosity of torture.

"And the proceeds that he makes off of the patients go into better equipment and facilities that he uses for other various experiments," Kakuzu said, immediately picking up on the financial side of things. "It's pretty much like it's paying for itself, if you think about it."

Pein was in deep thought, taking all of this in, when he turned to where Kisame was, who had been oddly quiet recently. "Kisame, are you thinking what I am thinking?"

"I'm not sure if my brain can keep up with a god's brain," Kisame chuckled darkly, "but yeah, I was thinking the same thing; the bastard who did this to me and Zetsu, Mr. O, could very well be Orochimaru. Ugh, how ironic is it that we end up right back into his clutches, huh?"

There was a moment of silence while everyone contemplated their comrade's ill fortune, before the talks turned back to one very important point-what were they going to do about this?

* * *

**I suppose that I could have written more, but I figured that if I'm going to be updating at around twice a week, then I should keep the chapters down so that I can produce them faster. Also, I'm a bit excited for tomorrow, for various reasons, but pretty much so that I can beat others out on getting something that I need. That's very vague, and I feel like keeping it that way.**

**Anyways, now the story's starting to pick up, or at least more so than it had been! And what's this? Mr. O is actually Orochimaru? Who would have guessed? How about everybody, I'm sure. Yeah, not very original, but oh well, it works. Now that I'm updating more regularly, it would be nice if I could get pretty much more than one review per chapter. It would be nice, but so would World Peace, Naruto having a satisfying ending, some of my favorite manga being updated again, or in one case, being started back up again, so that way we're not left hanging for a few years with a cliff hanger. It would be nice, but is it going to happen? Probably not. Oh well, I can hope, can't I? So come on, grant me hope and review! ^_^**


	20. The Plan Of Sporks and Men

**It's a bit earlier than I was thinking, with three days instead of four, but I don't think you'll mind. I think I'm starting to get into the habit of updating, especially with how bored I am. And how messed up my laptop is, since I can't even play solitaire on here anymore. *Gloom* Ah, vell. I have a book to read for my English class, and I have to start thinking of a paper idea and actually write the paper, too. I can't afford to be bored.**

**Disclaimer: Too busy (and yet still bored; is this what one would call a 'paradox'?) to own Naruto, with various reasons given above. Instead, enjoy this work of pure fiction!**

**Oh, and as for the title, I just thought it would be fun! ^_^**

* * *

After some serious debate, it was decided that the best course of action would be to take everyone, i.e. the former patients of Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, Gai, and Baki along with the Akatsuki as per agreement, and escape from the asylum. This in itself brought in its own problems, such as where would they go when they got out? What would they do when they got out? Should they go to the police? Or should they try to contact higher authorities? How high should they go? What should they do to try and get Orochimaru to get his own? And probably the most pressing question of all, how are they going to get out? It's not like the counselors could just escort everyone out of the building, especially when Orochimaru and Kabuto were most likely on to them.

"So, I've been thinking about this and I think I have a solution," Kisame said seriously. After seeing that everyone was paying attention, he started in on his idea. "Okay, so first, we raid the cafeteria; we have to do this at night, or whenever no one's around. Then, we steal- I mean, _appropriate_- all of the sporks that they have, and start digging our way out of the courtyard; we don't stop until we reach fresh air on the outside, and we keep going until we can no longer see this place, and go just a little further just to be sure. After that, we scatter, take fake identities and never speak to each other again, to be on the safe side. When it all blows over, that's when we strike!"

Kisame said all of this, steadily getting more and more excited, and starting to sound caught up in his own idea; clearly, Kisame had seen too many espionage movies while being stuck in Level Three. There was a moment of silence, before Pein broke it to Kisame that god did not dig in the ground, and he would not subject himself or God's Angel to crawling in the dirt, either. Kakashi further pointed out that if they didn't keep contact with each other, then how would they be able to know when to attack finally? Kisame sulked in the corner, especially when Gai tried to add something but couldn't remember his name. Tobi consoled him, and even offered him candy to make him feel better. Kisame told him to shove off.

"So, does anyone have any better ideas?" Asuma asked, fiddling around with his cigarette case, since Kurenai and 'god' wouldn't allow him to smoke in their presence. And it was against asylum policy as Anko pointed out, but Asuma's comeback was do they really want to follow the rules of that place anymore?

Before Anko could retaliate, Konan came rushing over and immediately had Pein's attention.

"Did something happen?" Pein asked quickly

"I suppose you could say that," Konan said in her usual quiet voice, though Kakashi noticed that it was still a little breathless from rushing to tell her news, whatever it is. "Are you still debating on how we are going to get out of here?"

"Yes. This whole debate has taken up twenty minutes, and we still don't know what to do," Sasori grumbled from the corner.

"Well, I believe that we have a solution," Konan said, smiling from the good news. "Or, more like, one of the patients came up with an idea, unknowingly."

"We wasted twenty minutes with debate and talk, when one of the patients comes up with an idea in just a few minutes," Sasori griped from where he sat, glaring at the floor. "This is such a waste…"

"How did this patient come up with the idea?" Kakuzu asked, interested in something that wasn't money for once.

"Itachi was discussing about different places to hide for when the medications are dispensed, though cautioned that for a good portion of the hiding places, Kabuto knew about them somehow, when one of the patients happened to mention the vent system, and how he knew it like the back of his hand," Konan explained quickly.

"Naruto," Kakashi sighed out, though loud enough that everybody could hear.

Already, Pein was formulating a plan. Kakashi could almost see the gears moving in his head, and upon seeing the serious look on his face, Kakashi could clearly see why it was this man who was in charge of the Akatsuki. Pein just had that air about him that all natural born leaders had; though he also had the extra confidence it took for him to be 'god'.

"I believe I have a clear idea of what to accomplish now," Pein said after a moment of deep thought. Almost immediately, the room grew quiet. "What we need to do, is use the ventilation system to leave this place. I presume that as counselors, and adults, you all have your own vehicles. We will use these to evacuate all that are in our party, and we will head over to the Special Task Forces building. As three of our numbers are the former Kazekage's children, one even being the next successor, they along with all of us will receive diplomatic immunity, such that it will be impossible for a while for anyone to try and do anything towards us. During that time, you counselors need to contact the proper authorities." Turning towards Asuma, Pein asked, "I believe your father is the Hokage here in Konoha?"

At this, several people turned to Asuma in surprise, none realizing that, indeed, Asuma was related to the old and vulnerable Hokage.

"And we never knew!" Gai said in surprise. Asuma sighed, before putting the cigarette package up.

"Well, technically my old man's the Third Hokage, not the current one; that would be Naruto's father, though I suppose I get your drift; I'll get in contact with the old man, see what I can do," Asuma said in a somewhat tired voice. "Damn, I wish I could smoke in here," he muttered quietly.

"That being said, we shall need to act fast," Pein said, turning the conversation back over to their original topic. "Orochimaru or Kabuto could have any number of spy's posted around the place; Sasori, I shall need you to go and retrieve the others and quickly."

Sasori quickly left the room, glad to finally not be wasting time. Turning back to everyone else, Pein addressed Tobi next.

"I will need you and Zetsu to keep an eye out on things, and if it seems too dangerous, get out of there," Pein instructed. Strangely enough, Tobi acted serious, before seemingly enough disappearing in thin air to who knows where.

"Now that we have a plan of action," Pein said to the whole room now, "don't let your guard down; we need to move fast for this to work, and we don't want any casualties on our side, got it?"

The gathered Akatsuki were smirking by now; Kakashi could only imagine that they were thinking about the coming events.

_Could they possibly be having fun with this?_ Kakashi thought. _Well, after all that they've been through, I suppose it's only fitting. I have to admit, I myself am feeling a bit excited, too…_

* * *

**So, this is pretty short, but on the plus side (depending how you look at it) I think this story is almost done. I'll save all of the sentimental stuff for the actual final chapter, which definitely won't be the next chapter, or maybe even the next. However, since I'm updating every few days now, chapters will have to be shorter-ish, though I will still try my best to add as much detail as I can think of for this story.**

**Actually, this brings me to a bit of an impasse. I have two possible endings for this story; one is the one that I mentioned in the very first chapter, I believe, where there will be another part of the story that would turn into a bit of a high-school story, though it would be longer, or I could go ahead and end it and I could leave out the high school part. I'm really interested in starting another story after this, so I'm more partial for just finishing this damn thing, though if you want more, I can certainly do that. Just keep in mind that my finals are approaching, so it may take a bit longer to update, though I can definitely say that it won't last as long as my other breaks have been. I'll still update at least once a week, so don't worry about that. **

**Now, please review, and tell me which ending you want! Yes, again this is a bribe. But this bribe will actually help you, too! ^_^**


	21. Escaping

**Aw, and here you were thinking that I was going to take a long time again, weren't you? Why is it that every time I say I'm going to do something, like update at least once every week, I then go and not do that? Yes, I'm contrary, I know that. *sigh***

**On another note, in a review about Itachi's twin's name; yeah, I think the reason why I came up with him having such a lame name was to separate him from the rest of his family, like that was his motive for killing them or something. I know it wasn't very Japanese-y sounding, it was supposed to be that way. That being said, he'll pretty much never be referred to again.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Naruto, not X-Box 360, not helicopters, not anything. And I'm okay with that.**

**Rating: I'm not really sure if there's anything that really needs to be warned about in this one, except for Zetsu. So, maybe a T?**

* * *

Creeping along the passageway to the designated air-duct that would take everyone to freedom, the group of patients (along with Kurenai and Asuma, and with the Akatsuki leading the way) kept an eye out for anyone suspicious; other than themselves, that is, as was pointed out by Sasuke in a sardonic tone of voice. After having explained as briefly as possible what was happening, the counselors and the patients split up, with Kurenai and Asuma staying with the patients to look after them, and the rest of the counselors heading to their vehicles so that they may escape.

However, when they finally reached the air duct and lifted the lid off of the vent, Sakura refused to go in.

"No, I'm not going in there!" Sakura protested, standing as far away from the opening as she could in the small, crowded hallway.

"Why ever not?" Sasori asked angrily, upset that they were wasting time over such a thing.

"I don't know why," Sakura began, looking at the opening as if it would eat her, "but I feel like I'll die if I go in there; there's a drop off, right? And we're on the fifth floor, right? That's too high up!"

"Are you saying that now, all of a sudden, you're afraid of heights?" Kiba asked sarcastically, on edge along with everyone else over their escape attempt.

"Yeah, maybe," Sakura said cautiously, sneaking another look at the empty cavernous space that was the vent.

"Then why did you go to the roof to try and kill yourself?" Gaara asked, in his usual calm manner but with a hint of tense undertones in his voice.

"I don't know how I ever was able to get up to the roof before…" Sakura trailed off uncertainly.

"That's because before, you weren't on your medication," a smooth voice came from behind. Everyone turned around quickly to see Kabuto standing there, watching as everyone tried to escape from the asylum. "But you see, now that you are, you have developed a fear of heights. Rather ingenious if I do say so myself, making a drug so that suicidal patients develop a phobia so that they can't kill themselves. You see, Orochimaru and I really do have your best interests in mind, and it makes us feel bad whenever you try to leave like this."

Facing off for a moment, the Akatsuki motioned for the two counselors to take the other patients with them and run—or, climb down, as the case may be. Sakura protested a bit more, but Asuma untied the cloth that he always wears around his waist and tied it into a blind fold for Sakura to use. Sasuke, Naruto, and Sai dragged Sakura over to the vent and pretty much carried her down the vent, shortly followed by the other patients.

As this was going on, the Akatsuki and Kabuto were getting ready for a showdown.

"So, Sasori, I see your doing well," Kabuto said tauntingly, taking hidden medicine needles and syringes filled with what could only be guessed at as some sort of 'medicine' from behind his back.

"Fine, as long as I get to repay you for what you've done to us," Sasori said, a smirk starting to make its way onto his face as he pulled out his own syringes, though this time filled with what was most likely poison. "You see, I've analyzed the medication that you've been giving us, and, well, I've made something better…"

"I'll leave this to you, Sasori," Pein said, motioning to the others with a nod of his head that they should also follow the rest down the shaft. Everyone turned to go, except for Deidara.

"Hey, we're partners here, un," Deidara said, drawing out some of his explosive clay. "I can't just leave this here with you all by yourself."

"Stupid brat, you just want to join in on the fun," Sasori replied, his smirk and gaze at Kabuto never leaving his face.

"Fine, you can stay, but I don't want this to get too messy," Pein ordered, letting Konan enter the shaft before him. "Don't cause too much property damage; we don't want this whole building to fall down on us while we're still here."

"Hai, Leader-sama," both Akatsuki members said obediently, before launching into battle with the mad doctor.

* * *

"Hurry, hurry," Anko muttered to herself, though loud enough that Kakashi could hear her from where he was standing next to her. She, Kakashi, and Gai were waiting next to the cars, waiting for everyone to get out quickly. They didn't want to be there longer than they already were, and everyone felt that at any moment Orochimaru himself could waltz right out of the building to try and stop them.

"Oh? And what are three, _hardworking_ counselors doing here after your shifts have ended?" came the voice from none other than Orochimaru himself. "You're not planning on breaking anymore laws than what you've done already to try and kidnap patients from my asylum, now are you?"

_Damn you, irony,_ Kakashi thought to himself furtively, preparing to square off against his boss.

"What laws?" Anko asked in a venomous voice, her anger being conveyed clearly. "Compared to what you've done to those poor kids, you have no right to talk about if we _save_ them or not!"

"Now, now, Anko-chan," Orochimaru said in a placating voice. "What is it that I'm supposed to have done, to have earned this harsh treatment all of a sudden?"

"How about poisoning your own patients and using them as guinea pigs to test out your new concoctions!" Gai put in heatedly.

Kakashi, however, noticed that while this banter was going on, the patients along with Asuma and Kurenai had arrived and were hiding in the shadows. Kakashi signaled silently for them to go ahead and move to the back of the vehicles to load up.

Orochimaru, being as sharp as he is, noticed what was going on, and said "Ah, just so you know, I've already contacted the proper authorities about what has happened here. They should be on their way to arrest you for kidnapping, extortion, illegal substance abuse and testing, and if I figure correctly, assault on one of my most trusted workers."

"_Oh, I could give you 'assault'_," Zetsu said to Orochimaru, but was stopped by himself. "No, he doesn't mean that he has salt to season him with. And I think Kisame already wants to take a bite out of him, and you know he doesn't share…"

"Enough," Pein said in a tense voice, physically pulling Zetsu along. "We're out of here, and once we step behind the wheel it won't matter who's after us, we'll escape. And that means no trying to attack Orochimaru, Kisame; you can do that later." Kisame sulked a bit at this, before getting into the swing of things, i.e. escaping.

"Yeah, let us drive, seriously," Hidan said, shoving different kids into different vehicles. "We've been practicing on X-Box 360, so we'll be able to lose the coppers." He said this with a rather pleased look on his face, Kakashi noticed.

"I'm not so sure if I want you unlicensed minors driving our cars through a car chase with the police, with everyone inside said car," Asuma said, already heading for his car. "But if you say you can get us to the World Government offices, then go ahead."

Itachi, Pein, Hidan and Kisame took the wheel of all four cars, everyone loaded up, and hightailed it out of the parking lot, just as the first sirens from the police were starting to be heard, and the flashing lights be seen.

"Out of curiosity," Gai said to Kakuzu who was driving his car, "what happened to the other two members of your group who aren't here?"

"Oh, they'll catch up eventually," Kakuzu said in a noncommittal manner. "We'll meet them at the Government building in the meantime."

Kakashi could only think, as Pein, who was driving his car, drove through a red light and carefully loosing the police cruisers who were on their trail, _I'm so glad now that none of us decided to carpool…_

Kakashi's concentration on the matter, however, went away as a spot light from an overhead police helicopter found its way to the car they were in. Kakashi could already here Pein mumble, "Fast reaction time; now how was it again that I lost them?"

* * *

**Be happy for me, my final paper's turned in, this week is the week before finals so I don't have much going on, and now I can concentrate (as well as I can; I've mentioned this to a reviewer once before, but I think I'm turning ADD…) on this story some more! ^_^**

**Just so that everyone knows, the current vote for the end of this story is three votes for high-school-type story after this one, and zero votes for just finishing this thing. Of course, one of those votes came from my sister, so I'm not sure if it should count… XP But it will, just to keep everything fair. The voting for the ending is still open (though it's not on my profile; just send me a PM or a review with your vote, even if you've voted already [imooto-chan, this doesn't mean you can vote again; I already know your feelings on this]) so feel free to give me your opinion on the matter, you won't hurt my feelings. That being said, please review! ^__^**


	22. The World Government Building

**Well, you can all thank **andalliwantedwerecookies **for this chapter finally coming out. I'm super sorry for taking so long, especially when it had seemed like I had come back so quickly. Let's just say, I'm not so bored anymore, I have a new fandom that I just absolutely adore (6996, FTW!), I have chores this summer (just what every girl wants for her summer birthday…-_-), and my sister distracts me with music, my fandom's, and going out to see our new kittens. Yes, you're to blame too, hun. This chapter is somewhat short-ish, but last weekend I went 'camping' (that's all I'm going to say on that) had a horse step on my foot (it doesn't really hurt that bad, actually), my cousin came, and this weekend I'm going to an anime convention! ^_^ Also, I'm going to be even more busy coming up, so here's a present.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. All I'm really ready to admit that I own is the somewhat basic plot. Fun times, fun times.**

**Rating… I don't even care anymore, I'm hungry right now. Let's go with T just because.**

**Note: I don't really remember Kabuto's last name, so I have it as best as I can remember. If it's totally wrong, well, whatever, nobody cares about him anyway. As far as I know, that is… (looks off into space…)**

* * *

"…So, according to your account, this 'asylum' that you were 'working' at, in which these teenagers were 'patients' at, has been doing 'illegal and criminal testing' on the 'patients', and you as 'good Samaritans' decided to take these 'patients' of yours out of there into 'safety', which is why you came here to the World Government Office in Konoha?" a secretarial aide of the World Government Office said to Kakashi and the rest of the counselors. The patients in question were scattered about the lobby of the World Government Office, waiting for the grownups to settle things with the rather uncooperative, insulting aide. Negotiations weren't going very well, as the secretarial aide didn't seem to believe their story.

"I know this seems a little hard to believe," Asuma began, before being cut off by the aide.

"Here's what it seems," the aide said in a snarky voice, "There are five adults here, with twenty-four teenagers who clearly share no relation to any of you, which in the middle of the night decided to come to the World Government to try and close down some asylum that may or may not exist, insisting that this asylum that you speak of is the most reputable asylum that we even _have_ in Konoha! Not to mention that this asylum in question supposedly has been doing what could only be described as torture on its patients, and this torture was sanctioned by the renowned owner of the asylum, and when you decided to leave, you left two of the most dangerous patients that they had to 'hold off' one of the workers of the place, and thus abandoning them, along with your crime of kidnapping these twenty-four patients! Putting that aside, even if this was true, why don't you simply go to the police with this? How is this in any way the World Government's business? And, how do I know that these children are even insane like you are trying to lead me to believe?"

"Well, take Sasuke for instance," Kakashi said, his patience running thin on this insufferable, useless aide. "He is as good an example as any."

The aide looked over to where Sasuke had perked up, having heard his name be mentioned, but seeing nothing more than teenage angst turned back to Kakashi and asked, "How so?"

Overhearing what it was that the adults were talking about, Sasuke walked over and started in on detail about how for the past couple of years, his soul mission in life was to kill his older brother (at this Sasuke pointed out to where Itachi was leaning against a wall, also looking as if there was nothing more than teenage angst troubling him), and even went so far as to mention all of the failed assassination attempts that had been made.

The aide blinked a bit at this, before pointing out that if he had really wanted to kill his brother, he would have done it already since Itachi was in the room with him. The aide quickly realized what he had been implying, before saying that there was no good reason for murder, no matter how justifiable the circumstances.

"Well, yeah, I'm not going to kill him now," Sasuke said as if it was obvious. "It turns out that I had it wrong and that it was Itachi's evil twin brother who killed our entire family, leaving Itachi with the blame and me to be stuck in an asylum with Itachi, to live out the rest of my life in psychological trauma with unattainable revenge to be the only reason left for me to live for. Meanwhile, my older, evil brother would be living out in the real world with no one to question anything; until he was caught by the police, that is."

The aide just stared at Sasuke, before telling him that that was the plot of some soap opera, and that things like that just don't happen in the real world. Turning back to the adults, and leaving Sasuke feeling very insulted over his personal trauma, the aide asked if there were any other stories that they wanted to try and tell him before he was forced to send everyone away.

Anko, feeling very, _very_ annoyed by that point, grabbed the aide by his shirt and pulled him down to her height, and proceeded to rip the government worker a new one.

"Listen here, buster, if you need any reason to hear us out, that over there," Anko pointed to Gaara and his siblings, "is the candidate for the next Kazekage, and the former Kazekage's kid, along with his brother and sister. Their counselor at the asylum was Baki, a member of the Secret Remote Squad, who disappeared right when we were figuring out what was going on there. Asuma, here, is Sarutobi Asuma, the Third Hokage's own son, and a worker at this asylum as well. In fact, if you want more reason to help us, over there is the current Hokage's own son! So tell me, Mister Aide, do you think we have sufficient reason enough to be here?"

The aide, feeling scared of the mad, angry woman quickly left to 'talk to some officials about their problem.' Anko snorted at this, before telling the aide to 'run along now, like a good little boy.' The aide, feeling a bit emasculated by that point, hurried off to do as he was told. Turning around to face the patients in the lobby, who were staring at her in awe by then, Anko smiled a winning smile and flashed the peace sign.

"Okay, problem solved!" Anko said cheerfully, in contrast to how she had been only moments before.

"Yeah, and it only an hour or so to accomplish, with the use of threats and name-dropping," Kiba said, his attention span for the situation gone now that there was no car chase or escape plans to deal with.

"Now that I think about it," Itachi said suddenly. "Where are Sasori and Deidara? Shouldn't they be here by now?"

At around that moment, the two missing Akatsuki members appeared through the doors, walking slowly towards the group as a sudden wind started blowing behind Sasori and Deidara, making various debris fly around behind them. Both had proud looks on their faces, and seemed to walk with pride in their steps.

"You did not just time that for your grand entrance, seriously!" Hidan said accusingly, though he had somewhat of a smile on his face.

"No. No, we didn't," Sasori said in a satisfactory tone, though it could have been because he was happy about how his fight had turned out. "Oh, and Leader-sama? Were you really looking forward to us not causing property damage?"

"Well, in a serious fight it's sometimes inevitable," Pein said in a contemplating tone of voice. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," Sasori said smoothly.

At around that time, a news story was talking about a 'mysterious explosion that took place at Konoha's Asylum for Youth' that was being attributed to a 'gas leak'.

"Luckily nobody was hurt, as every patient on this floor had conveniently been relocated to the cafeteria for pudding, sources tell us," newsman Tazuna reported. "The only person injured in this explosion was Chief of Medication at the facility, Yagushi Kabuto, who is being taken to the Konoha General Hospital for treatment. We are also getting a report that Tsunade, who was Second in Command of the medical care center located in the asylum, co-founder of said asylum, and Chief of Konoha General Hospital is going to be the one treating Kabuto specially. Already, firefighters are arriving on the scene and are putting out the fire. I'm sure everyone could say that the asylum was lucky that this was the only damage received. More at eleven."

"Ah," Pein said, understanding fully. Kakashi shook his head, and sincerely hoped that nobody important connected the incidents back to them for the time being.

* * *

It was later into the night, coming upon morning, when the group finally received the sanctuary that they had sought for from the World Government, as told by the same aide from earlier, though he seemed to be more nervous around them for some reason. This was later found to be because of the many connections that Anko had told him about earlier, as none other than the Hokage of Konoha, Namikaze Minato himself, rushed into the World Government Building at six in the morning. However, because the group had been hustled out of the lobby to wait in a conference room earlier they didn't know that the Hokage had even arrived until around noon the next day.

During that time, Minato was in meeting after meeting to sort out the mess that had happened. He had to stage a conference call with officials from Suna, regarding the patients that had been in the asylum, the counselor/ protector from Suna, Baki, who had come with them and was still currently missing, and how there was a traitor, Shura, amongst them; Minato also had to contact each of the teenagers' families (if they had any, that is) and tell them of what had happened and where they could go to find more answers; and finally, Minato had to send out his ANBU special forces out to find Orochimaru, which was easier said than done as the snake-like man had disappeared after the group left the asylum. After finding that Orochimaru had disappeared, and finding more evidence of his past crimes, ANBU were sent out to Konoha General Hospital to take Kabuto into custody, but the right-hand man of Orochimaru had disappeared as well.

With no more leads left to use, Minato ordered that Orochimaru be put on the Most Wanted List in the Bingo Book, Rank S. The search would continue for the man and his accomplices outside of Konoha lands for now, but some of Orochimaru's accomplices could still be in Konoha, Minato was sure. And so, Minato came up with a plan to protect his son and his new friends from the clutches of Orochimaru; Witness Protection.

_They may not like it,_ Minato contemplated as he looked out a window in the corridor he was walking through, looking out at the cityscape or Konoha. _But it would be what's best for them now. Hopefully, I'll be able to protect my son now…_

* * *

**So, I've pretty much decided that I'm going to do the sequel. Yes, they're going into Witness Protection, while going to high school. How cliché. =_= Normally I don't really like high school fics for a number of reasons, most notably the lack of grammar and spelling. However, since a sequel was asked for, a sequel there will be. I will try my best not to get caught up in the usual story-lines for high school stories, and try my ultimate best to keep the story line straight, too. However, a word of warning; I've pretty much put one of my other stories on hiatus for this one, so when this one's finished, before the sequel starts, I'm going to work on that one. It's only fair, I think. Luckily, there will still be another chapter or two left in this one, so you don't have to worry about that so much. I'll try thinking of titles for the next part, but like I've said already, I'm going to be really busy this summer, what with chores on the farm (repairing barb-wire fences that were taken out from the ice storm last year; yay. -_-'), and I'm going to an anime convention this coming Friday (with a friend of mine that I haven't seen in a year; yay! ^_^), so thank you for being patient with me. I'll try to finish this story up before summer ends, but as I've noticed somewhat recently, every time I set a goal for myself, I always seem to miss it (purposefully? Who knows…), so fingers crossed! ^_6 In the meantime, please review! ^_^**


	23. The End

**Eh heh heh. So, it's been a long time since I've updated… Yeah, blame various manga that I've been reading along with my general laziness. Oh, and on a side note, isn't it sad that OneManga shut down? *Depressed sigh*. Well, this chapter's here, since I didn't really want to be put in a bulletproof room with Zetsu. That's all I'm saying, lol.**

**Disclaimer: Do I really have to give one when this is the last chapter? Really? Okay, how about I'm too depressed with my favorite manga-reading site going away, my favorite manga hasn't updated in a while, and other various things to even think about owning Naruto. No, this series belongs to Masashi Kishimoto (I think that's his name…), I just borrowed it for my own sick purposes, mainly this story.**

**Rating: As far as I know, this is the only K rated chapter of them all. Who knows, I could have over-rated some of the chapters and made them T just because I could, but oh, well.**

**Notes: I went back and read your reviews to look for any questions/comments/concerns about this story. I think I've covered them in this chapter, if not some of the previous chapters, but if you still have any questions/comments/concerns, just ask me; I'll come up with an excu-**_**plausible explanation**_**- for it.**

* * *

After the patients were finally showed to a room where they could rest for a while, Kakashi met up with his old training master-who coincidentally was also Naruto's father- Namikaze Minato, current Hokage of Konoha. Kakashi had many things to talk over with Minato about, such as their current plan of action for what would happen to everyone now.

"Sensei, it's good to see you again, even though it happened under these circumstances," Kakashi said politely, bowing in respect, to the Hokage who was seated behind the Hokage's desk, ready to face anything that would happen next in the coming development of what would soon be known as the Asylum Incident.

"I feel the same, Kakashi," Minato said tiredly from behind his desk, though he still managed a smile for Kakashi. "I was surprised when in Naruto's letters home he mentioned having you as his counselor. Did Gai get you the job?"

Kakashi sighed in response, before sitting down in the chair that Minato offered to him. "He insisted that since we went to college together, we should work in the same place as well."

Minato chuckled a bit at that, remembering Kakashi's expression when he found out that his roommate for college would be none other than the Green Beast of Konoha, as Gai had liked to call himself at that time. "Well, the two of you did get along pretty well; it's not surprising that you would eventually have the same profession." Kakashi gave Minato a startled, disbelieving look at the mention of being on 'good terms' with Gai, before moving on the actual topic of conversation that he was meaning to ask.

"Sensei, what are we going to do with the kids now? It's not like we can just let them go off to do anything they want now, and some of them still need some help. Also, I'm sure Orochimaru's not going to just let them out of his clutches, they could be in danger!"

"Yes, I have thought about this, and with some advice from my advisors and the Third Hokage, I have come to a decision," Minato said, face serious to show how important what he had to say was. "They may not like it, but for now it is the only option that I can think of; we should send them to witness protection here in Konoha, the three siblings from Suna as well. We have already thought of the practical needs for this plan, so far, and have also contacted the various parents and guardians involved; this includes the Akatsuki, as well."

"Wait, the Akatsuki are also going to be involved in this?" Kakashi asked, not having really thought much about the older teens.

"Well, they had been involved since the beginning, right? And weren't they also the ones who initially contacted us about this problem?" Minato smiled at Kakashi, knowing that he had forgotten about the Akatsuki.

"I suppose that's true…" Kakashi conceded, deep in thought. "So, what are we going to do for them in Witness Protection? Are they going to be put in a safe house somewhere?"

"Actually, I thought that since they haven't been able to interact with others of their peers in a while, as long as you as their counselors don't mind, they could all attend the local high school. It wouldn't be suspicious if all of them suddenly join, as the school itself is fairly new. All that would be needed is a cover story of their old school closing down, which left them to join up with the new one. Realistically, there should be no problems. Plus," here, Minato started smiling with a huge grin that filled up his face, much like how Kakashi was reminded of Naruto when he smiled, "Naruto should be happy now that he can be with others his own age that won't leave. He was always complaining about that in his letters."

Kakashi left the office soon afterward to let Minato revel in being a parent to his son once again and make the phone call to his wife to tell her about the news of their son. Kakashi needed some time to think, anyways.

Kakashi could already tell that the kids weren't going to like that… True enough; the Akatsuki might like it since it would mean that they would be in control of a larger population of people-most likely to exploit them and spread the Word of Pein-but the other teenagers might not being told what to do. Then again, like Minato had said earlier, it would give them a chance to associate with their peers more; for all Kakashi knew, that was probably what those kids needed the most right now, in regards to their treatment.

* * *

When Kakashi returned to the room where the newly freed patients of the Insane Asylum for the Youth (the name had apparently changed since Kakashi had started working there, he had noticed), he returned to see chaos. There were patients standing around talking loudly, though most were eating the food that a kind worker had brought in for everyone. The Akatsuki, like always, was keeping to themselves over in a corner, but Kakashi was glad to see that everyone else was socializing, even if they were doing so with their mouths full.

Ah, lunch time madness. Kakashi had almost forgotten what it was like, even if it had only been a day since he last had lunch duty. So much had happened, it amazed Kakashi that it was only the day after their brave escape. He was even starting to wonder if they would get used to a 'normal' life after all. Before Kakashi could contemplate anymore, however, a certain hyperactive blond called his attention over to where he, Sasuke, Sakura, and Sai were hoarding some of the food that was laid out in front of them. Apparently, they wanted to eat with him and were waiting until he came in. Kakashi was touched by this, before he noticed that all Naruto had were cups of ramen, and the others weren't doing much better.

Walking over to where Anko was watching over the Akatsuki, as their new designated guardian. She looked up when she noticed Kakashi walking towards her, and offered her famous cat-like grin, which Kakashi noted that he hadn't seen in a while. After all, there hadn't been much to smile about before.

"Can you believe, that after everything we've been through, even though they can look after themselves, I'm still stuck looking after the Akatsuki?" Anko said when Kakashi was standing next to her. "Not that I mind, really, I think I'll be able to handle them just fine; it's just that everyone else has only three to look after, though in your case, four."

"Think of it this way, there's more of them to love," Kakashi replied, giving her his own smile, though by far his was more rarely given out.

"True enough, though I'm not sure about the 'love' part," Anko commented as she looked at the Akatsuki who were fighting over which portions of lunch they would or wouldn't get. "Can't get any worse, though, can it?"

"Depends on your definition of 'worse'," Kakashi said mysteriously, before moving on to why he originally came over in the first place. "Did you happen to notice the quality of the 'lunch' that they decided to give us?"

"Rather insulting, to me," Anko quipped. "It's like they think that we feed our patients junk food instead of the nutritionally balanced meals that we actually do serve."

"Well, they are kids, though," Kakashi admitted. "For many, Naruto in particular, this is the first chance to eat junk food in years. We could at least let them enjoy it for now, right?"

Anko was silent for a moment, internally battling over her duties as an administrator and her want for the jaded teenagers to actually start acting like regular teenagers. Before she had a chance to answer, though, Anko started laughing. Turning to Kakashi, she said in between chuckles, "I think your group's waiting for you over there; if you don't hurry, they'll start lunch without you."

Kakashi spared a glance to where Naruto and Sakura were watching him from their spot at the long conference table that everyone-save the Akatsuki- were sitting at and where Sasuke and Sai were trying to pretend that they weren't watching him, as well. Kakashi sighed, before giving Anko a little salute goodbye and wandered over to his group.

"So, are you having fun now that you're out of the asylum?" Kakashi asked when he reached them, noticing the array of snack food that the helpful assistant obviously thought that all teenagers should eat. Along with Naruto's ramen (that he kept by himself at all times; apparently, this is what he meant by "Free Ramen"), there were also packaged salads that usually came with burger meals, of which Kiba had taken for himself and Akamaru, several soft drinks, a few orders of fries, and one order of onion rings that Sai, surprisingly, had taken for himself. Sasuke and Sakura, being the more health conscientious out of the four, had taken the salads along with an order of fries and a soda each. This left an order of fries and a soda left for Kakashi to eat, and since he hadn't eaten since lunch the day before, he wouldn't say no to a chance to eat anything, even if the fries were practically dripping grease.

"Oh, heck yeah!" Naruto shouted with a mouth full of ramen, bits of broth flying over the table. Sakura hit him over the head for a 'lack of manners in front of a lady!' while Sasuke, Sai and Kakashi looked disgusted. "I'm finally getting the chance to eat real food again" "How is this real?" Kakashi asked aloud, "and I was starting to think that I would forget what this stuff tasted like."

"Oh, yeah," Sakura said thoughtfully while picking at her salad, "You've been there longer than any of us, I keep forgetting."

"That reminds me," Sai said thoughtfully. Kakashi was just a little bit surprised that Sai seemed to be willingly participating; it was almost as rare as if Sasuke participated willingly. "Why did your parents allow you to be sent to the asylum for so long?"

Kakashi listened closely to what Naruto had to say, since he was also curious; Minato wasn't stupid enough to send his only son to someplace where he might never see him again, let alone what his scary wife would have to say on the issue. The big question, it seemed to Kakashi, was why did Minato send Naruto to Orochimaru's asylum? Why was he even sent to one in the first place, even?

"Well, my dad's a bigwig in the government, or something like that, and when I started having problems, his teacher suggested that I get some help. See, apparently, he (my dad's teacher that is) is friends with Tsunade-baa-chan and the creepy snake-guy, and all three of them built the asylum, before my dad's teacher decided to go and wander off somewhere. I think he's a writer, though whenever I ask, Mom just changes the subject without giving me an answer…" Naruto trailed off. While Naruto and the rest of his group contemplated what his mom could have meant, Kakashi was thinking over a few things.

Now it made sense, Kakashi thought. Minato's teacher, who was friends with Tsunade and Orochimaru, could only be Jiraiya. If had been Jiraiya of all people to suggest that Naruto go over to the asylum that he had built with his two friends that he trusted, of course Minato would have Naruto go there, especially if he thought that Naruto would be coming home soon. Unfortunately, since the asylum was actually not helping, Naruto spent seven years of his life there, years that he would not get back. The only bright side is that despite what Naruto thought sometimes, he wasn't actually alone there. He had the letters that his mother and father sent him every day, since visitation wasn't allowed, and he also had his new friends to be with him, too.

Naruto had been doing very well in his therapy sessions with the others in his group, Sasuke, Sakura and Sai. He was becoming calmer, though that was entirely by his standards. No sane (pardon the pun) person would claim that Naruto was 'calm'. He was also interacting more with others, that didn't include pulling pranks, or only talking with people as if they were going to be there for a short amount of time. What Kakashi thought that Naruto needed the most at this time is a sense of stability around him. And while, what with the new Witness Protection plan, they wouldn't be able to have that stability for a while, Kakashi was sure that these were the first steps towards stability that Naruto and everyone else needed.

Not long after Kakashi had come to this conclusion, the Yondaime himself came in to the room. When this happened, the adults in the room and a few of the more well-informed teenagers bowed respectfully towards him. When the others asked, particularly the three from Suna, who Minato was, they started bowing respectfully (or as respectfully as they would) towards him as well. Then Naruto noticed why it was that everything went quiet all of a sudden, and before Minato had a chance to ask everyone not to bow to him, Naruto jumped towards him.

"Daaaddd!" Naruto shouted as he ran towards his father. This shocked not only his own therapy group, but everyone else who was not aware of his father's status.

"Wait, when he said that his dad was some 'bigwig in the government', I didn't think he meant the Hokage!" Sakura said aloud. However, this wasn't nearly as shocking to everyone as when Naruto finally reached his dad after years of not being able to physically see him, and punched Minato in the stomach.

"G-good one, son," Minato managed to choke out, ruffling Naruto's hair.

"Wha-what did you just do to the Hokage?" a government aid demanded of Naruto. Naruto just looked at him before shrugging, as if it was no big deal that he just physically assaulted the Hokage. Minato, however, just waved it off. He still hadn't stopped ruffling Naruto's hair, Kakashi had noticed, and by the way Naruto was grimacing slightly, he decided that his old teacher was probably getting payback in his own way.

"It's okay, since he and his friends will probably be angrier at me after I make an announcement soon," Minato said diplomatically. When everyone heard that the Hokage had an announcement it became quiet again. The counselors knew that the announcement most likely had to do with what was going to happen next; the Akatsuki knew that whatever it was, they were most likely going to be a part of it whether they liked it or, most likely, not; the rest of the patients didn't really know what was going to come next, except for maybe Shikamaru, and were thus quiet as well. Kakashi tensed, however, since he knew what it was about and was waiting for the others to start complaining.

"You see, after careful consideration and consultation about what to do with everyone here, I've made a decision," Minato started. A few of the more rowdy patients didn't like the thought of being told what to do, but they knew that these were no ordinary circumstances, so they held in their complaints. "I've decided, and with the approval from your parents and guardians, I might add, that for now, until Orochimaru is caught and tried you will be attending the local high school-"

At this, there were several cheers at the thought of finally being able to go to school again, strange as it may seem. After being quieted down by their stressed counselors, Minato continued.

"-while being in the witness protection program."

There was a moment of silence as this bit of information was digested, when there was a general uproar that Kakashi had expected, and judging from Minato's expression as well, he expected it too. It seemed that the general consensus on the witness protection idea was a bit of confusion over what it actually meant, with a dollop of outrage that they didn't seem to have a say in it, mixed with just a pinch of fear over what was to come. Kakashi then decided not to do anymore analogies while he was hungry.

"What do you mean Witness Protection, Dad?" Naruto said as he finally batted his father's hand away from his head to glare at him. "Does this mean that I'm-we're-not going home yet? What does Mom say about this?"

Minato sighed before answering Naruto. A few of the others had noticed that they were getting their questions answered and so became quiet as well, though they also 'helped' some of the others who were still loud to be quiet. "Well, no, you can't _stay_ at home just yet. But for at least a few days, we're going to let you go to your respective homes to catch up with your family while we make arrangements for where you will be staying during your stay in Witness Protection. However, during Witness Protection, you won't be allowed to go home; we're hoping to find a safe house to use, that you will be staying in."

Around here, there were a few, reluctant, noises of agreement. While they didn't like the idea of not being able to stay home, they knew that the situation was one that they couldn't be picky about. Also, so far what the Yondaime had suggested was very reasonable, and they could deal with not being able to go home just yet. In a few cases, some were glad about this, since they didn't think that they were exactly what their parents were expecting. Lee for instance still had his mother who thought that he was possessed to deal with, and Hinata's father was still in jail; she and Neji would most likely have to stay with relatives that they didn't know well, and neither wanted that just yet; Hinata was still not quite sure she was ready to deal with everyone on the outside, whereas Neji wasn't sure if everyone on the outside was ready to deal with him. He knew his fate well, and wasn't sure how others would react to that.

Then there were the ones like Sasuke, Itachi, Sai, and Tenten who didn't have anyone looking forward to them coming back home, or even a home let alone anyone to come back, too. Sasuke and Itachi could probably go back to their old home, but after years of neglect and the memories that were linked with it, they weren't sure if they wanted to go back just yet.

"Okay then, but what about Asuma-sensei and everyone else?" Shikamaru asked, feeling that if he didn't then nobody else would. "What's going to happen to the counselors now that we're going to Witness Protection and their jobs have pretty much been terminated?"

Kakashi realized suddenly with a jolt that the kid was right, and he hadn't even considered that. Taking a look at Gai, Asuma, Kurenai and Anko, he could see that they hadn't thought about that, either. Luckily, it seems as though the Yondaime had thought about that for them.

"Well, I was hoping that they would volunteer to look after everyone," Minato said smiling, suspiciously like he was smiling at Kakashi in particular, though he could have just imagined it. "Since it seems as though you were interrupted in the middle of your treatments; this is entirely voluntary, or course." Minato amended, not wanting to sound like he was using his position as Hokage to order them into doing what he wanted.

"I'll definitely stay," Kurenai said immediately, putting her hands on the shoulders of the members of her counseling group. Kakashi could see the looks of relief on Kiba and Hinata's faces. They had clearly thought that she was going to abandon them now that she had no obligation to look after them. Even Shino looked a bit relieved, though it was well hidden thanks to his sunglasses and hood.

"Same here," Asuma said, following up with a little wave of his hand. "Who knows what this bunch of kids would get into if I weren't there to look after them?" Ino and Chouji looked happy at this too, though Shikamaru muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "Since when have you looked after us?" though he seemed to be happy about this as well.

"I should think it would go without saying that I will be staying by my charges sides!" Gai proclaimed enthusiastically. Lee shared in on his happiness while Neji and Tenten sweat dropped at the sight of the two of them.

"Well, I don't think that it would be any worse with him around," Tenten said, though Kakashi noticed the subtly hidden look of relief that Gai would be staying with them. Neji just 'hn'-ed, which Kakashi took to be his agreement.

"Wait a minute, what about Baki-sensei?" Kankuro asked suddenly. Kakashi had almost forgotten to ask about their missing colleague, and was glad that someone asked besides himself. "He's been missing this entire time, and we're not buying the story about him looking after his sick mother; what happened to him?"

"Oh yes, I'm glad you brought that up," Minato said. "It appears that he had had his own skirmish with Orochimaru's assistant, Kabuto, and had injured himself. He's fine; he just had to report to his superiors about what had happened. You'll see him soon, as he has already volunteered to look after the three of you."

"Okay, then," Temari said with some satisfaction that Kakashi noticed was shared with Kankuro and surprisingly Gaara as well. It seemed that they liked the man more than they had let on, most likely because he was also from Suna along with them.

"Well if that's out of the way, then I'll take charge of the Akatsuki," Anko spoke out from where she was leaning against the wall next to said Akatsuki. "If I'm already looking after them here, then I might as well look after them the long haul."

"Don't we get a say in this, seriously?" Hidan asked upset. Deidara seemed to share his concern, but was kept from voicing it thanks to Sasori stepping on his foot. Pein also looked as though he might have a problem with Anko 'taking charge' of his Akatsuki, but reconsidered when he thought over her actual meaning. Apparently, he didn't really care as long as it was known that God didn't let anyone else 'take charge' of himself or God's Angel.

"Of course not!" Anko said sweetly while smiling her trademark grin at him. Hidan settled for grumbling to himself.

As Kakashi was watching all of this unfold, he noticed that everyone was turning to stare at him, to see what he would do. So cute, Kakashi thought. As if he needed any time to consider something like this.

"What? You didn't really think you could get rid of me that easily, did you?" Kakashi asked his group. Kakashi chuckled a bit upon seeing the heavily relieved looks on Naruto and Sakura's faces, along with slightly more hidden looks on Sasuke and Sai's faces. Did they really think I was going to say no? Kakashi thought. He was rather insulted.

"Oh, and in regards to what your Mom says about this," Minato said to Naruto, drawing his attention back to him again. "I was going to use you to surprise her, what do you think?"

"So you couldn't tell her flat out?" Naruto asked, teasingly.

Minato chose to look away, muttering something about how she always won the arguments.

* * *

**Well, this story is over. Sort of. There's still the sequel that needs to be written, but like I've said before, I have another story to finish first. Hopefully, since I've seemed to pick up a second wind, so to say, it will get put up soon-ish. However, definitely count on it being put up next year; you all know how I am about updating. If I'm really, really sneaky, it might ***_**might**_*** get put up before next year. At any rate, I still need to think of a name for the sequel. I was thinking of Ninja Insane High School or something, but that seems a bit lame to me. So, if you have any suggestions, I'm open to them. I'll put up a poll for suggestions, where you can write in your own. I'll look over them, and the one I like the best will be the name. Don't worry, I'll put up another chapter after this one that has the official name for the new story, with maybe a little extra, so be sure to look out for it! ^_^**

**And now, for the many, many people who have supported me through this whole story, here you are!**

**For the lovely reviews that make my day every time I read them (I'm not entirely sure if I deserve them, but I'll happily accept them!): SilverxWolf, **chi**, LuvLuvKakashi, **Keith Kaizer, **Dark Tank,** SwissEagle, **Lehxra, **Jumpingbeans480, **xXxSheIsTroublexXx, **Number one Itachi fan-girl, **Hexanna, **sad little monkey, **SiberiaFox, **Obito-chan, **Anime-rocks-and-you-know-it, **Kakashifangirlnumber1000, **WhiteTerrier, **demon lilith, **ichilover3, **redfoxrose, **greatstars, **The Spirit Alchemist, **Ce'Nedra Queen of Random, **Zaxara, **sakurabender, **anotamous, **Blood of the Dawn, **Holly-Batali, **ranmafanz, **TeenageNeko, **angelsxdemons, **Naruto the 0 Espada, **Port in the Storm, **m101, **Kariann-chan, **b4ndg33k (my lovely little sister), **loyal december, **TwistedRoses132, **andalliwantedwerecookies, **Kisame's Shadow, **anonymous-ninja13, **SilverLunaMoon, and last but certainly not least, who motivated me to finally write this last chapter, **blksnowangel. **

**For the many people who favorited and alerted this story, unfortunately I don't have the attention capacity to name each and every single one of you, but know that you helped motivate me to write this thing. **

**I hope everyone sticks with me for the sequel, and thank you all for supporting me for this project of mine! *bows down low* Thank you! ^_^**


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